Friend request received

[whitebunnies]

I went to a pub quiz as part of a social group last week. I spoke to a woman who seemed very nice. Then I made a comment in conversation with someone else which was innocent and she intervened and was abrupt manipulated it into something it was not. I won't be going again as I found the group cliquey and don't like manipulators.

This morning I have received a friend request from her. I don't want to accept her as if I did see her again I know I would be walking on eggshells and did not like being invalidated. Her profile picture is of her grandchild so if I ever did see her I could just say I didn't know who it was. Shall I just decline the friend request?

Yep ignore

I don't want to accept her

so dont. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Just ignore, people can be odd

Just ignore it.

Just ignore and leave pending

Why do you need to ask this? You don't really know her, you don't like her, you don't own her anything, just decline it.

What do you expect us to say? "Oh but you must accept this friend request from a virtual stranger!" Of course you don't accept it. I've met people briefly who then send friend requests. I ignore them.

No, don't decline, just leave it there hanging. Neither accept nor decline.
She can't request you again, she can't really complain. You didn't refuse. Maybe you just don't check them that often.

If she ever did ask about it you could just say you hadn't seen it and would check, then not check.

You sound quite judgemental.
But just decline the request.

You don't even have to decline it, just leave it sitting there. In the unlikely event that she tackles you about it you can be vague and say you haven't seen it. Also, tighten up your FB settings, only friends of friends can see me. Plus, you can block specific people from being able to see what you post, so block her.

Can you work on your assertiveness? If someone tried to imply that I'd said something that I hadn't I would talk over them and say "That's clearly not what I meant at all". You don't have to let people walk all over you for fear that you might cause them some offence.

I hardly ever accept anyone. It's not the law. Just breeze past it IF she ever mentions it - 'oh I'm hardly on there'. Block her if you want so she can't find you then say you came off because you don't use. Just say, I didn't think we were that close?

You're overthinking. I only have people I actually like have access to my social media.

The thing is we can't judge the situation. O p said she said something innocent. Maybe OP is one of those people with foot in mouth syndrome.

A woman said she goes to football matches a lot. All I asked was do many women go. It was a genuinely innocent course and she was interrupted and was abrupt and said that doesn't matter and spoke over me. The woman who went to the football had no problem answering the question.

The fact that you need validation to not accept a friend request from anyone, let alone someone who has offended you, is worrying. Assertiveness training is worth consideration, OP. I did it years ago & found it very helpful.

Are you a very nervous person? Just ignore or block her. If you should meet and she asks why you didn't accept, you can just say It didn't want to.' You won't burst into flames or anything!

You don't have to do anything you don't want to joe do you have to give any reason why.

Unless you're being asked to get down by a police officer with a taser in which case I would advise you obey.

Okay nothing wrong with what you said. But I don't see what the other woman said was a big deal either.

Decline the request. You dont know her and what you know of her you didnt like much. Its a no brainer. Sone people add everyone to their facebook, but its absolutely normal to decline requests too

Don't accept and if she does even question you about why you didn't accept her tell her she's a two faced bitch.

As above ^ Just leave it pending. I have 5 or 6 'friendship requests' pending on facebook that have been there 6 to 12 months. I think they've probably forgotten they sent them!

To be fair @whitebunnies this woman will very likely forget she has sent this request within a week. One of my FB friends (ex colleague of DH's who I know a bit and have spoke to a few times,) has a cousin who she wished happy 40th to the other month, and I liked the comment. Her cousin sent me a FB friend request! It's still there, 5-6 months later, (pending!) I reckon she can't even remember sending it!

I wonder if she's sent you a message to or maybe wants to apologise for snapping?

I've had friend requests on Facebook from two of my supervisors at work. I've ignored them, and just remarked to other people at work if FB is mentioned, that "I have a FB account, but l don't really bother with it, l only use it if someone messages me".
My account on there is locked, and l only accept friend requests from people l actually know.
Just ignore her. It's not like you have to see her every day at work.

Bloody hell, how long have you been on social media? Do you always check with other people if you don't want to accept?

It's a friend request, not a subpoena

But rude! You don't have to answer if it's so rediculous..

I'd leave it, if you see her again you can say oh sorry I don't really know you and I tend to leave my friends list quite short on social media. I can imagine you're wondering what her intentions are, she could be a bit green eyed or just plain weird!

Thank you for all your replies. People are right I need assertiveness training and should have challenged her at the time. Just concerned I may bump into her again but it is unlikely. Even if she did snap again about a friend request I have dodged a bullet.

Id feel guiltfree ignoring that request.
She wont have a clue if you're on fb often or never.

Sounds to me like she was off with you because she is the queen bee, but other people liked you which scares her, so to keep her "enemies" close, she sent a friend request.