Looking for advice or some solidarity because it's become so much worse recently.
For background I did not have a good childhood, mum was very critical of me , expected me to act like an adult when I was a child and was quite neglectful. Moved out with my boyfriend when I was 18 and have lived with him ever since. I went through a period of a year or two without speaking to mum but that was about six years ago.
My issue is I cant actually remember the last time she asked how I was or what I was doing. Every conversation we have is centred around her, If I didn't volunteer info she would have no idea what was happening in my life and the odd time I manage to talk about me she will give me a one word reply and move back onto herself and it's always about the same thing usually to do with work or the gym and even when I say "oh I remember you mentioning it" she will say "have you told DP about it" and then go on to talk to him about it, she forgets things that I've told her about my life because she hasn't listened and just laughs it off and expects me to drop things in my life for her despite never doing the same for me (even as a child, I wouldn't expect her to do it now) she's also recently started making passive aggressive comments about how I don't enjoy being around people (not true) and how I never go to the gym (I have no time and I prefer walking but even if I didn't how is it her business as it's not coming from a place of concern) I feel like the last time she knew anything about me was when I was a teenager and she thinks I'm still the same person I was when I was 15. If I message her with an update about my life she ignores it but is constantly messaging me pointless updates about her/something she has done.
Its so draining and I find myself getting upset after being around her or talking to her. She has friends and speaks to her brother most days so I don't think its loneliness.
Does anyone have a parent similar and how do you cope?