Catching 2 year olds up

[Caszekey]

I feel like I've really failed my 2 1/2 year olds. Although they're bright and funny little things, they're still not really talking in English (they THINK they are. That's not English. It's Twinese).
They defiantly do not know where their body parts are,dont recognise letters or numbers, colours or shapes although will lift legs on command to get trousers on, will put their arms in tops once it's over their head,

it's perfectly clear when they want to go out in the buggy (will walk to door, rattle it, go to door, rattle it, poke buggy, point to keys) or a drink (go to door, point up to side to cordial, point to tap) etc but won't use words like "walk" or "drink".

I just don't feel like I have the time like I did with their older sibling who was SO MUCH CALMER and there was one of him. They're so much more wild. No nursery until January as I can't afford it without working and I can't afford to work. And when we do have time at home I'm so tired all the time.

I should have their checkup soon and I'm dreading it and the HV thinking I'm neglecting them.

But then I feel so overwhelmed with where to start, they don't really sit still, it's so hard teaching two together etc.

I just don't know where to start making up for their bad start.

It must be so exhausting having twins (plus older sibling), don't feel bad! I'm sure they're just developing at their own pace. I have a two year old and I'm not sitting down and teaching him things (tried with letters, got nowhere!) but he picks up a lot through books and chatting. Do you talk to them a lot and read with them? If you're naturally quiet or spend more time talking to your older child perhaps try to consciously vocalise everything all the time (eg child points at the cup 'oh would you like a drink of water in your blue cup? Let me just turn on the tap' etc rather than just getting it.) A lot of people seem to recommend Speech Sisters on Instagram for tips. But seriously, you won't have failed them!

I'll have a look thanks. It's always hard to know exactly how much they know when they don't talk.

We have all school day whilst eldest is at school but cos there's two of them they seek less input from me cos they'll go and play together unless it's to mediate a war over who gets which toy and then cos they natter to each other it can be harder to get a word in.

The only thing I'm really confident in is their social skills

Try lots of singing with them. Action songs are great - the type where you have to point to body parts etc, but even with the non-action ones you can point to relevant things to help.

Some of my DCs first words were ones that cropped up in the basic nursery rhymes.

And read lots of books together - get them to point to things in the pictures etc.

I think with twins it can be harder - not just because there are two of them, but because they can rely so much on each other they don't need to develop language skills so quickly.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6OHsHUWgc1RtybRXGrt43g

I can thoroughly recommend this channel for songs - I used to take my kids to her actual groups when they were little.

I have a two and a half year old daughter and she has significant developmental delay due to bring 4 months premature, in hospital for the first 8 months of life then spending months at home due to lockdown/shielding.

She is barely talking. She occasionally says mama or dada, and has very recently figured out the link between the word 'car' and an actual vehicle. Every time she sees a car she shouts 'car!' and in fact saw a helicopter flying over last week and called that a car too. Ditto trains.

When she wants something, she either points one arm/finger towards it or stretches out both arms towards it. She doesn't ask for things like drink, food, nappy, book etc. Every day I spend lots of time (not all in one go) working on expanding her vocabulary. Her speech therapist told us recently to minimise our language with her, so instead of saying "Look at all the sheep in the field!" we should just say "sheep!". It's not coming naturally to us I will admit!

When I get her a drink, I say "drink" or when I blow bubbles, I say "bubbles!". Yesterday she repeated "bubbles" back to me but doesn't seem to have made the association yet so I will keep repeating it.

The key thing I've found is not to try and get them to say random words, but to SHOW them in objects or pictures what the word means for them to make the connection. Show your twins a teddy and say either "teddy" or "bear". Don't try and force them to say the word. Make it fun and keep it light.

They will get there, don't worry. I bet a year from now they'll be chattering away in proper words and driving you crazy with their additional demands 🙂 and don't worry about their developmental checks - IF there is anything different you could be doing, they will guide you through it. They're still just babies and many two and a half year old children (especially lockdown babies) are not talking in the way some people expect they might be.

Thanks Seeline

I think when they are this age, it's just about relentlessly talking at them.

"Ooh let's put your socks and shoes on. One sock, nice. Nice red sock. Two socks. Nice, nice spotty red sock. Now shoes, one shoe, ooh this is a good shoe, two shoes, you can run nice and fast in these shoes"

Same with second twin.

"Coat on for Mummy. Keep me warm. Your coat is very cosy too isn't it? Your lovely yellow coat. I wonder where the keys for door are. Can you see them? There they are. I'll put them in my pocket to keep them safe"

All that relentless boring stuff. They absorb it all.

and in fact saw a helicopter flying over last week and called that a car too that's adorable 😍😍

Al ltbat makes sense, thanks. I think I'm worried about being judged. DS was delayed but like your daughter due to stuff external to my parenting. At 3 1/2 "the wheels on the bus" was "uh eels o uh us" and I was frigging ECSTATIC at his amazing singing. He's 7 / Yr 2 now and caught up academically over the pandemic but because everyone expected him to have delays, no one blamed me, in fact the opposite. With the twins, I feel the expectation is so much higher because they were healthy 36 weekers and I should have them reading Shakespeare by 5

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz the keys comment made me laigh
Thry def know what they are and where we hide them cos they're little beasts and we've had to put them somewhere they can't climb 😂

I wouldn't beat yourself up about it. My youngest didn't speak much until he was 3. He has had speech problems and a stutter intermittently throughout his life since.

I literally spent all my time with him in the day when his brother was in school. I talked to him all of the time, read to him and did lots with him. He also went to nursery from age 2. Where he didn't speak.

If you are concerned, use the HV check up as an opportunity for some help. Ask for speech therapy if you think that would help.

It is a well known twin thing for them not to speak as early, they speak to each other and understand what they are banging on about.

Mine at hardly any words, we went on holiday when they were 2.6 and they came back speaking in full sentences. I think sometimes it just clicks.

I honestly wouldn't worry. My daughter was a lot slower than her cousins (as i was often reminded!) and then one day it just 'clicked' and she's now getting on fine with everything. Kids just develop at different paces!

Do you know any adults who don't know what their arms are?

Don't worry about it. They're talking to each other. They're fine, you're doing great.

Haha yes true Bloodyhell. I'm just conscious they'll start nursery at 3 and half the class would have been in from 2 in free funding too so the other kids will be ahead there as well. That 30 month assessment just feel huge