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Original poster

House or baby?

30 replies

Mushroo · 05/06/2022 10:26

My DH and I are thinking about TTC at the end of this year. I’ll be 31 and he’s 35.

The current plan is to stay in our flat and move before we need schools etc. - the mortgage is affordable and we’re near parents for childcare. BUT the layout is really not great for kids - the second bedroom is on the ground floor and we’re in the basement (duplex) and I already feel uneasy about a baby being on a different floor.

the plan is to move in a couple of years, but should we delay TTC and move first? How is moving with a small child? We also don’t really have a garden currently which is another issue.

would you carry on TTC or move first?

OP posts:
Beamur · 05/06/2022 10:30

I wouldn't want the baby on a different floor either. Probably easier to move before you have a baby.
But many people have the baby in with them for a few months after birth.

MyCatIsInCharge · 05/06/2022 10:31

In view of your ages - I’d move now if that’s an option financially. You’ll be able to raise a bigger mortgage with two full time incomes and no childcare commitments (I’m making assumptions you both work full-time). Once you have a child, you’ll probably have some childcare commitments and banks will generally lend less. You may also want the option to work part-time - that would also affect income multiples.

So I’d move now.

I speak as someone who chose to stay in a flat with minimal outside space when pregnant - we moved when DC1 was almost two. It was quite stressful as we moved out of area, but also it has been much, much harder to do anything to the house with a child and then children. Now, for us, that’s exacerbated by not having family local to us to help. But if I could turn back the clock, I’d move two years before I got pregnant so we could move and get the house sorted before a baby arrived.

BattenburgDonkey · 05/06/2022 10:34

Baby would probably be with you for the first year anyway. If you are desperate for children I’d do that but first, then you have time should any issues crop up. Housing market isn’t amazing at the minute anyway and fertility declines with age. But I’m sure many would manage it the other way round as there are absolutely positives to moving first too.

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Families
piratehugs · 05/06/2022 10:34

I would TTC first, while you're near parents. Baby will be in your room for the first 6-12 months anyway. What if you move, then discover it's triplets and you want somewhere bigger? Do you have parks nearby? In the early days you may prefer being out and about around people rather than isolated in a private garden.

Moving is stressful whenever you do it.

piratehugs · 05/06/2022 10:35

Although that's a good point above about the mortgage. I hadn't thought of that.

Classicblunder · 05/06/2022 10:36

Ours were on a different floor in our previous house, it was honestly a non issue. They were with us until 6 months and then we used a monitor. Garden is totally unimportant to a baby as well. So I would just go for it!

DarlingDarwin · 05/06/2022 10:37

They dock about 40k off your affordability for a mortgage for each dependent, plus you’ll have nursery or part time pay after baby. Having said that, they can’t do any of those things while you’re pregnant because the baby doesn’t exist til it’s born so you don’t have to tell them. It might take you ages to get pregnant. I’d start ttc now and move while you’re pregnant/ immediately after baby arrives (get mortgage agreed first).

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 05/06/2022 10:37

Ttc plus pregancy could take the best part of 18months if not more. Then they share a room with you for the first six months minimum but you could just keep them downstairs with you for a year. So that's nearly 3 years away anyways.

AliceW89 · 05/06/2022 10:38

We are trying to move currently with a 2 year old. We’re not even going that far - same town but bigger garden/better school catchment, It’s proving really difficult with a child in tow and working. If you think you can move relatively quickly now I’d do it. Every pregnancy is different but I would have been completely fine to move whilst pregnant and, in hindsight, this would have been preferable to trying to move with a toddler. Not everyone has a straight forward pregnancy though.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 05/06/2022 10:39

They dock about 40k off your affordability for a mortgage for each dependent

Have you got a source for this? We sold and bought with two small dc and our affordability wasn't affected. Knocking 80k off (2x dependents) would have meant we couldn't have moved.we

BertieBotts · 05/06/2022 10:41

TTC isn't instant, it could take ages to conceive, then 9 months for the actual pregnancy and then you're meant to have baby in your room for at least 6 months (we've always done 12) so I'd not delay particularly other than the 6 months you're currently thinking of waiting. You can TTC while you work on your house goals.

JudyRudy · 05/06/2022 10:43

I'd move now.

Mainly as having a child will affect your finances, so it may just make it all the more stressful when you have to factor in maternity leave, childcare costs etc when saving/getting a mortgage.

Horriblewoman · 05/06/2022 10:45

Honestly, as someone who waited until I had the right job / right house etc and recently had a miscarriage I'd just crack on. There are so many things out of your control with TTC that a couple more years in a flat shouldn't be a factor.

D0lphine · 05/06/2022 11:12

Just crack on now.

It could take a long time to get pregnant. Up to a year is normal.
Then 9 months for the baby to come.
Then the baby will be in with you for 6-12 months.
By which time you'll probs be ready to move!!

Remember houses come and houses go and it might not be ideal. But don't delay your family for a room! You can make it work!

chchchchch · 05/06/2022 11:29

We moved when DD was about six months old (only 15mins away) over 20 years ago. It was not that painful, my parents lived nearby, and they helped out looking after DD during the move, we also crashed there until everything was set up. With your parents nearby I am assuming they could help.

We moved 200 miles when DD was four and that was a nightmare, just in terms of shifting everything because DD had accumulated a lot at that age. We lost some of her toys in the moving processSad

Original poster
Mushroo · 05/06/2022 11:37

Thank you everyone - it’s really helpful to hear opinions for both sides!

The housing market is insane at the moment which doesn’t really help!

we currently live in a ‘young professional’ area with loads of bars, restaurants etc and the move would be to somewhere a little further out, more ‘leafy’ and family focussed.

we’re currently saving hard so each month we stay in the flat our budget will go up (until a baby arrives which will wipe out a reasonable amount of that saving power!)

I’m leaning towards TTC as planned and keeping an eye on the market…. We had talked about selling and moving into rented so we’re in a super strong position when buying the ‘forever’ house which would be much more difficult to do if we have a baby.

OTOH I don’t want to buy the forever house and it turns out we really struggle to conceive.

its so so tricky!! Any more experiences either way are really helpful.

OP posts:
D0lphine · 05/06/2022 11:40

If you struggle to conceive are you going to want to be out in a family friendly area for that time???

Stay out for now and enjoy your early 30s fun up until baby comes along 😁

chchchchch · 05/06/2022 12:02

Oh, before we moved we were living in a townhouse in an area that was mostly young migrant workers and professionals but I was 34 so we thought fuck it, it was either now or never. With a baby it was fine, I just found some nearby baby groups and escaped to my parent's big backyard. Long term I would not want to stay there but a baby is not going to notice their surroundings and we had fairly respectable neighbours.

Original poster
Mushroo · 05/06/2022 12:04

@chchchchch thats very helpful and sounds a fairly similar set up. We can definitely make use of parents for viewings / actual moving day, which you’re right, would make things easier!

OP posts:
DuckDuckNo · 05/06/2022 12:14

My spouse and I also wanted to have everything "ready" before starting to TTC. (No house with a yard though, that's probably only considered a necessity if you're British/American 😄). Anyway, then it took us 7 years to conceive. I would start now. Nothing comes for granted, and anyway you might notice that the ideas you now have of an ideal living situation change when the actual child is there.

MargosKaftan · 05/06/2022 12:14

If you are planning on moving areas, I'd move before having the baby so you make friends at NCT etc. Would a compromise option be renting out your flat and renting in the area you want to live in to take the pressure off?

JuneJubilee · 05/06/2022 12:24

Of course you can live in the flat with a baby, even 2. I can see why you'd like to stay where you are until you have a baby.

I would say renting is not the best idea, it's dead money & the market will move without you.

it depends on your incomes & how much you plan to borrow, but I'd REALLY consider the banks 'affordability' calculations. Will you still be able to borrow enough once you're pregnant (& they adjust affordability).

Original poster
Mushroo · 05/06/2022 12:34

The mortgage point is interesting. I’ve just had a quick play on a couple of calculators (NatWest and HSBC), both will lend us the same amount regardless.

(I ran it with no kids, and again with 1 kid and £800pcm nursery fees).

Are the calculators normally fairly accurate?

OP posts:
movintothecountry · 05/06/2022 13:26

Move before ttc, as others have pointed out it will definitely affect affordability.

Also do not move into rented. If the market is moving up you will lose money if you jump off the ladder even for a short time.

druto · 05/06/2022 13:38

Nursery fees & any debt repayments will definitely affect how much you the banks will lend your