Emetophobia - has anyone ever got over it?

[LittleOldLadies]

Just wrote a long post and lost it!

I have had OCD/emetophobia for about 10 years. I excessively wash my hands and am massively hyper vigilant about vomit/illness but it’s been going on so long now it feels like it is just me.

However we’ve just had a holiday where my DP and DS had D&V for a day or so and my anxiety about us all being ill, being unwell on the flight home etc has really ruined our holiday. I haven’t eaten anything other than beige food since Wednesday in the huge fear that I would have D&V on the flight home (which is a really HUGE fear of mine).

Whereas before I just lived with the worry/anxiety/OCD, I feel like it’s ruined our first holiday in 3 years and I guess I am wasting my life and the possibility of fun experiences because this is always in the background.

But, I don’t know how I would ever get over it. Is it even possible?! Has anyone ever attempted to work on this and improve things?

Or if you’re a fellow emetophobe and just want to come and say hi then do that!

fellow emetophobe here! It’s really hard. I found mine was pretty much under control before having kids as sickness could largely be avoided and (ironically) I am very rarely sick. Having kids has been a game changer for the phobia and not in a good way 😆

My two are 3 and 4 and to be honest it’s constantly in the back of my mind- when will they next get ill, where will it happen, who will catch it, how bad will it be. For me the anticipation is worse than the actual thing - so if I know they’ve been exposed to something I’m on tenterhooks for the next few days and am constantly catastrophising about the worst possible scenarios. The few times it’s happened haven’t been as awful as I’d built them up to be but somehow rational thinking makes zero difference.

i think DD is also slightly travel sick, having randomly puked in the car a few times recently, so I’m now on edge every time we’re in the car and dread long journeys. I’m alert to every noise from the back seat and have to fight the constant urge to ask if she feels ok.

I’ve got so fed up of it dominating my thoughts and restricting where I take the kids (soft play etc) that I’ve started seeing someone about it but it’s not a miracle cure. We’re working on gradual exposure and removal of safety behaviours / reassurance (eg washing hands, asking people about bugs etc). She explained how when you avoid doing things you get instant temporary relief from the anxiety but long term it just reinforces the fear. The trick is to (somehow!) sit with / expose yourself to ‘triggering’ situations and habituate to it.

It’s tough because I also feel a huge sense of responsibility to avoid my kids getting ill, even though rationally I know it’s normal for kids to get bugs and I can’t prevent it anyway. But I feel guilty stopping cleaning their hands etc as it feels this kind of thing keeps them ‘safe’ - but then there’s bugger all I can do when they’re at pre school all day!

For me it’s all rooted in intolerance of uncertainty/ lack of control, which is at the root of most anxiety I think.

All I can say is that the best thing to do is to stop avoiding situations that make you anxious, but it’s bloody hard!

my husband used to have it. he got over it by changing his mindset from 'what if' to 'whats the worst that can happen. it sounds very simplistic but that was his advice. I remember he refused to eat food I'd cooked when we first met (even though I'd slaved for hours on it to impress him).

D&V aren't pleasant but very rarely kill anyone so he began to consciously think about that until he got over it.

it stemmed from a bad case of food poisoning as a child.

@bumblenbean how is the graded exposure going? I remember being in a session with my CBT therapist talking about it and he asked me where I though the highest concentration of germs were in the room we were in. I said the door handle, and he went over and licked it!! I was horrified! Not so much graded exposure than straight in at the deep end!

i know exactly what you mean about feeling guilty about stopping washing hands. I feel as though I would be negligent if I stopped and they became ill because of it. I can accept that I am probably (definitely) over the threshold of what’s normal though in terms of hand washing.

@NewNormalLife I think my OCD about this stemmed from when my DS2 was a baby. DS1 had a sickness bug and a couple of days later DS2 was rushed to hospital with suspected meningitis. It was awful and I don’t think I’ve ever got over the trauma of it, but in my head I have got the preceding sickness bug attached to the more serious meningitis, even though rationally I know the two aren’t linked. I don’t know how to resolve that either.

For me it’s all rooted in intolerance of uncertainty/ lack of control, which is at the root of most anxiety I think

Interesting point. Trying to increase my tolerance of uncertainty is something that I have tried to work on in the past but I hadn’t worked out that the two might be linked. Thanks.

I haven’t got over it as such but I have got a bit better since having children - almost entirely connected to having to look after DS when he is ill. I still panic that travel sickness etc is actually a bug & stay on edge for several days after a vom. I was also sick last year for the first time in an age when I caught a bug from DS (thankfully he was much improved by the time I started) and it was more manageable than I’d been worrying about!

I am still nervous about flights and long journeys, and if DS eats or puts his hands in his mouth before washing them thoroughly. The only way I can deal with it is over-preparing - I always have plastic bags, wipes, water,
chewing gum (for me)

I'm a former sufferer and OCD/GAD. I had one on one counselling and found that this website helped during the course of my CBT emetophobiahelp.org/erp-resources-2/

It is a gradual increase in being exposed to sick through words and pictures. It was slow but it did help. I also met someone new and he had a dirty job and an allotment. It showed me that dirt doesn't always equal illness. He was a huge help to me. Lastly, I had awful morning sickness and I was sick every day for 10 weeks. This fully "cured" me. When I'm stressed I slip back into old ways but ultimately I would say I'm pretty much able to live my life without it controlling it.

Covid bizarrely helped me too. I had to go to work and we didn't all come down with it so I think I got used to not worrying so much. I've watched my son literally eaten food off the floor, not been sick and I have also done the same. If you told me 7 years ago I would have freaked out.

I wish you all the best in trying to get better. It is a long and painful road but really believing you can do it and be ok will be worth it. I promise you.

Thanks @NoLongerSoulMates I'll take a look at that website. Did your counsellor specialise in OCD/GAD or were they a more general counsellor? How long do you think it took you to work through it all?

@LittleOldLadies I live in Hampshire and self referred to a company called iTalk. I'm sure if you're not in Hampshire there must be other similar services within your own county. When I went I was at rock bottom with it all. I was very unwell. The initial counselling was for 20 weeks and then for a year after I had 3 more sessions to check in with progress. I'd say I was probably 75-80% "better" by the end of that year. I had actually been drunk and sick which had never happened before. I know that sounds ridiculous to those unafraid of being sick but it was a huge achievement if you know what I mean.

What also really helped was not having someone pander to me. I was not allowed to adopt my ways the whole time and this really opened me up to deal with it. If your partner adopts your way they are bizarrely are not helping you. You need someone almost to challenge your beliefs that X will almost certainly result in being unwell in your mind. When actually that is not true. It is hard and it isn't a simple matter. No one likes being sick but if you are phobic it is a whole different hell that people do not understand. Happy to answer any more questions too.

Maybe it's exposure therapy, bit I improved a lot after having a very vomity refluxy baby.

@NoLongerSoulMates was that an NHS service? I think the equivalent service here currently has a waiting list of about 10 months and were the people I saw before 10 years ago. I was pretty unwell then too but function much better now so don’t even know if I would make it through their threshold. Perhaps I would be better to look privately.

Also the experience of nausea for me is just overwhelmingly horrible. I completely shut down. I don’t even talk. I can’t function. My fear has always been not being able to look after the kids when being ill myself. The kids are older now though so maybe that fear isn’t even relevant any more.

I have had a huge fear of vomit since I was very small. I'm now 40 and if anything it's worse than ever. I have no idea how to get over it.

Hi OP, fellow sufferer here. I really felt you about your holiday, I was exactly the same on my honeymoon 6 years ago and have refused to fly anywhere since, which makes me so sad- my partner and DC go away without me 😢

I've had a LOT of treatment. I've also been hospitalised 3 times for treatment and I definitely feel a it better, it's a bit more manageable, but that's all I can say really.

It's life ruining in every way, I empathise

Morning sickness sorted mine out (mostly) as well. Just couldn’t sustain the level of panic for 25 weeks of vomiting.

I haven't got over it but I have learned to manage it. When one of the DC came down with a bug I used to shake and cry in the other room whild DH dealt with it now I can go into the room and sit with them while DH clears up and help comfort them which was always something I really beat myself up about.

For me it got a lot worse after my youngest child was born and along with the emetophobia I developed post natal depression and contamination OCD, not helped by my eldest child being very ill at the time also so it was a perfect storm.It came to a head for me one christmas eve when I had a panic attack in the middle of a packed Tesco when I became suddenly convinced that the Costa hot chocolate I had drank earlier had tasted off and was going to make me sick. After that I went to the GP and got referred for CBT which didn't cure me by any stretch of the imagination but did make it more manageable.

I think I will try and dig out some of my previous CBT stuff and remember the strategies that we talked about.

I mostly find things manageable too but I guess my manageable wouldn't be considered to be normal in anyone's book.

@ScarlettOHaraHamiltonKennedyButler you sound a bit like me with the PND and contamination OCD, I had those too.

I'm sorry for all of those who are struggling with the same thing.

@Beetr00t what kinds of treatment have you had? I'm sorry it's been so hard for you.

Sertraline for OCD and health anxiety has helped mine quite a bit.

How did you cope during pregnancy?

I was incredibly fortunate and didn't have morning sickness in either pregnancy.

Yes, I honestly think I am over mine, I had been emetophobic ever since I could remember. I had CBT years ago for it when my kids were small and it was not successful. Then, about 10 years ago, I became almost a recluse one Christmas when norovirus was rife, the school I worked in was overrun with it and the local hospital had closed wards due to it. It was on every news broadcast and it drove me to locking myself in the bedroom, refusing to go out and having strange rituals around food and eating (I already had those but they intensified at this time). At this point I had more therapy that I was able to access through my employer, I don't know why but that time it worked. I can now eat roast pork, I can cook chicken without needing to cremate it, I no longer starve myself at the very mention of the words "sickness bug" and I can deal with vomit. I don't relish the idea of picking up a bug but the fear no longer rules my life.

My emetophobia comes and goes, I had quite a good grip of it a few years ago and it returned with a bang after the end of the last covid lockdown last year.

Mine is/was definitely social anxiety related and is all based around a fear of me vomiting, rooted in the embarrassment and shame of the physical act of me vomiting in public or in front of other people. I can pinpoint the incident which caused mine, when I was about aged 5 or 6. I'm actually fine with vomit in general and other people being sick, and strangely I'm not germ phobic.

At its worst I found myself making myself sick before going out, or not eating before any events that involved socialising in public, to ensure I had an empty stomach, or I had a very small few "safe foods" that I could tolerate. For the example in your OP, whether people I'd been on holiday with had had D&V or not, I would not eat a thing - probably from the evening of the day before a flight - to ensure I had an empty stomach and could not vomit. That fear of being trapped on a flight with no escape route and no easy access to a private space/toilet and all those people able to see me if I was sick, was awful, so I'd starve myself beforehand.

It's been a mix of CBT and hypnotherapy over the years that has massively helped and (touch wood) I've had a really good past 6 months, I can recognise now after many years when it's starting to creep back. It's something I expect I'll have to deal with it and have top-up therapy and hypnotherapy for the rest of my life.

I had intensive exposure therapy daily for 9 months in an OCD inpatient unit in hospital, also group CBT sessions, and DBT. A combo of all 3, plus good meds at last, has helped.

I am equally phobic of myself being sick, and others. All terrifying.. I also have OCD and it’s a bit chicken/egg to work out which came first!

@LittleOldLadies yes NHS. I really clicked with my therapist and actually I feel like I made a friend through her even though it was only ever professional. She helped me so much.

If you do go private I'd find a therapist you actually like and one that will challenge you. Someone sat there listening, being sympathic and understanding will never help someone who is controlled by this type of illness but it validates how you are and think. You need someone to challenge your ideas and thoughts. Some of my homework was to go into the supermarket and pick packets of meat up with just my hands. Against that I was also told I can keep some of my coping tactics. I have a fear of eating unusual mushrooms. The worry of eating them to see if I will be ill/die for days after is not worth putting myself through. So it is a pick your battles sometimes.