Attitudes toward those on benefits disheartening.

[AWizardsSleeve]

I am chronically ill; I worked and paid in to the system for years before becoming too poorly to work. The condition I have causes crippling fatigue; it’s not tiredness, it’s debilitating, life limiting fatigue.

The recent announcement of the cost of living help for low income families has brought out the worst in people and frankly, makes me feel worthless. I’ve stopped reading the comments sections in the media as it makes me feel like trash.

From family and friends, I’ve had remarks such as: “I work hard for what I’ve got and there’s you being paid to watch TV”. Said in a lighthearted way of course

“It’s wrong how hard working people get nothing and those that don’t, get it all handed to them. Oh but I’m not talking about you.” Yes, you are.

“I know someone who has 4 missing limbs and they still have a job, why can’t you work?”. When I’ve tried to explain that fatigue can be a huge barrier to work, I get told about another inspirational person and if I really wanted to, I could.

My own sister threatened to report me for benefit fraud (jokingly of course) . I told her to go ahead as I have nothing to hide.

Family call me the ‘benefit expert’ and it’s so hurtful. I have never told them that I receive benefits but they assume and bring it up every time I see them.

I’ve lost any chance of a career and I spend my days in pain and exhausted. I dread the week as I’m so bored being stuck at home. I do also try to live life as I have children but heaven forbid if I take them on a day out, because it means I’m not truly unwell (they don’t understand the suffering I go through after).

I told my other sister I was being referred for more testing and she rolled her eyes and said “what’s wrong with you now?”. I rarely talk about my illness because family don’t understand it and are very unsupportive. I had to hold back tears and make an excuse to leave.

I cringe when doctors ask me about my occupation and I’m so embarrassed to say I don’t work. I hate this. I hate every second of it and the attitudes of people make it worse.

I’ve had to fight the system repeatedly in spite of medical evidence to get financial support. The fear of it being removed every few years and wondering how I will survive in old age keeps me awake at night.

Do people really believe people choose to live with this worry and the shame that comes with it? I feel so disheartened and upset today.

That should have said so much time and resources spent on persecuting...

I was classed as disabled when I lived in the UK, chronically pain and structural changes to hips and lumbar spine. It was Occupation Health at work that did the classification. In order to work I had to use a standing desk and a bespoke office chair. My hips can get " stuck " so I at times walk with sticks or crutches. At times the amount of painkillers I was on would have felled a rhino.
I was NOT eligible for disability benefits, the bar is incredibly high.
OP I am so sorry that the ignorance of other people is causing unkindness to come your way.

But it's foolish to say every case is genuine. It just isn't. And that culture makes it so much harder for those who need and deserve it.

Of course not every case is genuine. It's a known fact you have to pay tax in this country but having worked for several years at an accounts I can tell you there were dozens of wealthy clients claiming luxuries as business expenses to reduce their tax liability.

Absolutely this. I'm a carer for my disabled child, and you'd think I was sitting on top of a pile of money, cackling. One of my friends husbands made a "lighthearted" comment 😑 when we were talking about it having been seven years since a certain band had performed. He said "seems ages. Round about the last time you worked for a living, right?" That has played on my mind so much for the last year. This bugger barely knows me, but he's obviously discussed my work history with my friend. Yes, I really love having no pension contributions, not using any of my qualifications and spending my days in a cycle of sameness with no support. I am starting work in September when my child starts their GCSE year. They have full time support in school from then and I'm looking forward to it. I am only working 3.5 days a week, but I would be lying if I said I was only doing it because I wanted the job. I do want the job and I'll be good at it, but I also want people to stop talking about me like I'm lounging at home doing diddly fucking squat all day.

I am sorry to hear your situation OP. The issue is there are a hell of a lot of people who feel entitled and who could work and don’t and live off the state. I know a few like this and rub it in my face that they are take take take and why would they work when they don’t have too.

I genuinely cannot believe that there are millions of healthy adults who voluntarily want money to do nothing all day. Its totally counter to our evolutionary psychology and sounds like absolute hell.

Nice to know I’m privileged. It’s a real privilege to be unable to walk, to be in constant pain, to have my hands covered in shit when I. Change my stoma. It’s a privilege to pay 20% of my benefits to the utilities company ( fuel poverty is 10%). It’s a privilege choosing to heat or eat, to feel nauseous every morning due to the necessary meds. To need a stairlift, a wheelchair, a carer to help me dress. I’ll remember my privilege when I’m experiencing my complete loo so dignity as another person helps me wash myself.

@iloveeverykindofcat I genuinely cannot believe that there are millions of healthy adults who voluntarily want money to do nothing all day. Its totally counter to our evolutionary psychology and sounds like absolute hell.

I think it's a bit more complex than this. I agree with you that there aren't millions of perfectly healthy people who claim benefits and do absolutely nothing all day. However, I do think a significant number of people game the system by deliberately keeping themselves 'under employed,' working fewer hours to then be able to claim benefits, when they are entirely capable of working a full time job. Personally (and I know it's an anecdote but it's still a genuine observation) I know of several people who requested to go part time at work and can only do so because benefits brings them up to a level they can afford to live on. These aren't people with caring responsibilities or poor health and they aren't in particularly arduous jobs. By their own admission, they could have continued full time, but saw an opportunity to reduce to 3 days work and claim benefits. How on earth can a system that enables that be fit for purpose?
It's also an incredibly short sighted system because how the hell will these people manage further down the line when it dawns on them that part time earnings = crap pension?

So, while I agree that very few fit and healthy adults would opt to do nothing, there are a hell of a lot more who game the system by choosing to do less than they could do.

One of the biggest priviledges in life is being able healthy enough to work in this country where we have health and safety laws, minimum wage, holiday entitlements, maximum hours. (For now)
Thank goodness we arent all scrabbling about on rubbish heaps selling what we find or making clothes in one of those unsafe factories for long hours whilst still a child.

Part of having a protected workforce is ensuring those not fit to work dont just die in the gutter

The two sort of go hand in hand really.

This

Bloody hell OP, you need better people round you. The ones you have are cunts.

@freelanc That's fair enough, and I do agree that what you've pointed out is very much a problem with the system (not the individuals). But I will never ever believe the people who say 'some people are just lazy and want to do nothing'. No they aren't. No-one wants to do nothing. Primates don't work like that.

It's short sightedness and hitting down.
The fact that people deliberately conflate disability and workshy is revealing.
They are powerless to argue against low wage/high profit ruining society because they firmly believe that wealth=good so they need to look down on non wealth creators.
Aside from disabilities the unpaid carers that do such a massive service to our community are also targeted as privileged.
Unless attitudes change society will suffer.

I agree, OP - people's attitudes are awful. Almost anyone can need the benefits system at some point in their lives. I'm furious at how this government has scapegoated people with disabilities and chronic illness to save a bit of cash and give people a target to distract from the harm the government is doing.

I'd rather 10,000 'fake' people got benefits than one person who needs it goes without. As it is, there is no evidence of widespread fraud - and if anything benefits are underclaimed www.entitledto.co.uk/blog/2020/february/16-billion-remains-unclaimed-in-means-tested-benefits-each-year/

Plus the current system is not only cruel, it's expensive. Honestly, it would be 'cheaper' to have a system that trusted people want to work and supported them to do so, which the vast majority do, rather than treating them like lying scum and undermining them. I've quite often heard stories of people who have a sensible plan to get back to work, to retrain etc - they go to the job centre and ask what support they can get to do this (maybe a grant, a loan, subisidised childcare?) and get told 'No, we don't do that. Go work at Sainsbury's for free for a fortnight'.

I think a number of people look at the number of job vacancies and then look at the statistics for unemployed and wonder how there are still so many vacancies, especially for jobs that don’t require special qualifications

I think it's in the political party agenda to demonise those claiming disabled and unemployment benefits. Less people will claim due to the stigma.
Also it creates a social divide which this government seems quite in favour of.
I also hate those benefit scrounger programmes and the ones that catch people out faking disabilities that were all over the tv a while ago. They just reinforce that all benefit claimants are good for nothing scrounges.

Whilst ignoring the fact that some jobs are only part time, which probably doesn't make it worth applying for.

Over 90% of the 'fraud' is their own mistakes. They miscalculate and then send you letters sometimes years later demanding the money back. Actual deliberate fraud is minuscule.
The PIP department spend one and a half million pounds A WEEK defending their refusal to pay people what they are legitimately entitled to, over 80% of which are overturned.

My family are always going on about benefit cheats with their 'free' cars. When I point out that that's how a lot of people would describe me - unpaid carer for disabled adult son with 'free' (motability-leased and paid for) car - they say that's not what they mean, I'm one of the deserving, genuine cases. However I find it so upsetting that anyone would be envious of my life, that I'm gaming the system somehow. My life is utterly tedious, with no end in sight and just the prospect of having a miserable, poverty-stricken 'retirement' on pension credit in a crappy council flat. I feel ashamed when someone asks me what I do for a job and I have to tell them.

The press has over the last few decades whipped up this resentment of the poorest people in our society into a them-and-us situation. No wonder people like me often feel deep shame and embarrassment.

I am entitled to PIP, I can no longer work due to long term chronic conditions that now completely overwhelm me. I've applied and been awarded nul points.
That shows that having read the thirty odd pages I needed to fill in, plus the hour long gruelling and humiliating interview, they were unable to differentiate and award any points across all sections. Doesn't make any sense. I had one month to appeal but did not managed to surface in the time frame to do the necessary.
At some point I will apply again, but it should not be this difficult: all my conditions are on my medical notes, I have explained how my conditions affect me , but still, they continue to deprive me and thousands of others.

This is true. Last time I had to go to tribunal to defend my PIP award, DWP sent an official to argue their “case” against me. Luckily, I had representation from a charity otherwise I would have been sunk. The DWP person repeated lies the assessor had made…saying things like “Discover can drive which takes high level of cognitive and physical functioning not consistent with the self reported disabilities” This was an out an out lie as I had to surrender my drivers license fifteen years ago when I became disabled and definitively cannot drive. Also my disabilities were not “self reported” but backed up by multiple consultant diagnoses, medical reports, tests and scans. It went on and on, the DWP official claiming one lie after another from the assessor and my representative was able to shuffle through my thousands of pages of medical evidence and call the panels attention- a judge, a disability expert and one other I cannot remember- to the specific medical documents refuting the DWPs lies. Some of the lies I had no proof though, for example they said I came alone to my assessment which means I can plan and travel on an unfamiliar journey alone (they had forced me to travel to another county!). But I hadn’t, my husband had taken me to the assessment and sat with me all through it. I didn’t think to take camera footage proving I wasn’t alone, who thinks of all the possible lies that can be said?. So all I could do was have my husband there at tribunal to tell the judge, that yes he had taken me to the PIP assessment. Of course, DWP was overturned but it was a year of complete hell and stress.

Thanks for the responses; it helps to know at least some people can think of the situation as a whole.

@blindsinthecity I do understand why those on low incomes are angry about the cost of living support when they are struggling themselves but it’s not my fault; it’s disabled people taking the brunt of the vile attitude.

I certainly would not class myself as living a privileged life! I am also on a low income in the form of disability benefits with a physical disability to boot. I’m sure those who are healthy enough to work even if on a low income would rather not be chronically unwell in addition.

It's the media and the Tories isn't it. They've been whipping up hatred for 'scroungers' for years.

I remember a few decades ago that people on benefits would get concessions at museums and days out and concerts etc.

Just imagine the outrage now if someone unemployed were allowed a few quid off the entrance price.

The right wingers really have done a number on the populace with their divide and conquer ideology.

I’m lucky enough not to have people like that in my immediate life, but the general attitude towards people on benefits is very disappointing. You automatically get treated with disdain or suspicion. And people think they’re entitled to know every single thing about your circumstances so they can privately decide if you’re “worthy” or not.

I currently can’t work because I’m a single mum with no support to a 2 year old. I wish it was as simple as just “get a job”. I’d love to work, to have some control over my finances.

And honestly I’m not hurting anyone. The money is nothing compared to what the rich are stuffing their pockets with. I’m not turning up to your house to nick your pocket change, but with the way some people (especially on MN) get all sniffy about it, you’d think I was personally turning up to rip their pay check away.

I never cared about benefits existing when I worked. I can’t imagine getting worked up about something that doesn’t affect me at all.

I'm sorry you're going through this! Might be best to go low contact with certain family members.

As for the general attitude towards people on benefits I find that as life gets harder for the majority of people (cost of living, inflation, no pay rise, minimum wage not fit for purpose, etc.) lots of people get jealous and angry at those they perceive to have an easier life.

Everyone has that "one family" on Facebook with lots of kids, always having days out, and it's easy to assume they're living a better life than you.