ex husbands girlfriend selling my books on marketplace

[NS1975]

I was browsing market place and came across a familiar looking group of books My abusive delusional ex husbands girlfriend is selling them for £5!! It did upset me as one is sentimental. (I need to forget and smile ) but its just so Bloody annoying what do you all think...... ( Also selling our Mirror from the living room ) Oh well is my standard thought but deep down Im fuming!

I’m assuming people saying why didn’t you take them with you haven’t had to leave an abusive relationship. Some books and a mirror may have been the last things on her mind.

Bloody hell - some people really don't understand the nature of abusers.

OP - I get it and I'm sorry.

A robust person in a calm state with good mental health leaving a healthy, well balanced relationship would probably be more than capable of collecting all their stuff.

Are you really so lacking in imagination that you can't see that the OP may not have been in that position?

You have clearly had an empathy bypass. Lucky you that you've never been through this.

I hope your son can get them back for you OP.
Lots of hugs

I'm sorry, that must be really upsetting. Hope you get them back

How recent was your having to leave? I too was locked out. It was so sudden. It was like my house burning down overnight. You don't always remember the little things you have lost until you miss them because something triggers a memory. I got to get a few things here and there, but I don't think I really accepted I'd lost the house and most things in it for a long time. I thought I'd get him removed in the courts but it wasn't to be.

It's years down the line for me, and stuff does become less important. Too close to the event and it is all a trigger. When you remember you didn't grab the vase your friend gave you for a birthday or a book or a mug. Little things, but it hurts.

You will make new memories with new stuff @NS1975. I would be happy to donate a book to your new bookshelf. I know it's not the point, but maybe it'd help having some new stuff that reminds you that people care and to look forwards.

Agree. You have no idea about her situation, apart from he is abusive so why make such a stupid comment.

Wow. Seriously?

The people saying YABU have never had to leave an abusive relationship. YANBU.

my mum once had to pack up and leave suddenly and it was so hard. We have family photographs we can never access again, they’re probably long gone now. So much of our stuff is gone. We couldn’t take everything.

Hold onto it just being stuff - of course you feel a bit sad when you see it, but remember it is just stuff.

I feel that way about some things that got left behind too. I just take a breath, repeat "we can always buy more stuff" and try not to dwell.

I'd block her on marketplace though - no need to torture yourself about it.

I do hope u can get your possessions back . I've lost things and had things smashed up by an ex. Just had to let it go in the end and move on.
The one shining beacon was that my extremely unpleasant narc of an ex was now someone else's problem x

Yes have blocked her and love "We can always buy more stuff"! and yes he is someone elses problem now!! THANK YOU!! :-)

Send someone else to buy them for you.

Your stuff isn't junk, to her it's just his ex's stuff that she's no use for. He will have told her lies about you which she will uncover over time... none of it is your problem now

A fiver? Get someone to buy them for you

All these people mouthing off about what the OP should have done. No one has any idea of the circumstances at the time or the emotions involved.

There's really no need to be such a fucking arsehole to someone who is clearly feeling just a bit hurt and pissed off.

You know some people can't afford that, right?

The OP isn't asking for advice about getting the stuff back. She's posting because it hurts and she's shaken. Not every problem needs a solution, but very few don't need a bit of kindness and a way to reflect.

OP - well done and good luck. Try not to let him occupy any more of your headspace. Those days are over.

I have a lot of books, totally understand how precious some are.

You know, if I have a book that you left behind, I'll send it to you - how about that? (Or an address of your choice)

Mumsnet could re-build you a little library!

What a shame OP, I really feel for you.

When my parents (finally) split up when I was in my early 20s, my dad had a bonfire in the garden literally while my mum was moving her share of the furniture in to her new house. As a result, there's only one baby photo of me left, two of my brother, but no school report cards, baby clothes, first teddy etc that my mum had set aside. Talk about twisting the knife eh?

I know it's just "stuff" OP, and I suppose it's a small price to pay for getting away from an abuser, but I hope you're able to get your sentimental things back if you want to. If not, then I'm sure they'll go to someone else who'll really appreciate them too.

I love this idea! Count me in too.

@NS1975 provide a list you lost. The power of Mumsnet can help and they’d also be sentimental - the kindness of strangers is becoming rarer after all. Maybe not the same attachment you had to the originals but it’s a small way people can help.

Thank you all for your kind words x much appreciated x

Count me in. I love my books and hate it when they go for a walk. If I knew you NS1975 I'd go get them for you.

He was abusive. He locked her out. Sounds like she was lucky to get anything.

Hope you feel sufficiently superior now.