How many is too many lifts (for DSs and their girlfriends?)

[TFM]

My lads are 14 and 16 and both have girlfriends that cannot be visited by bus. One is a 30-minute walk away thro a slightly dodgy area, the other lives in the countryside about 5 miles away and the route there is not one I would want my DS cycling or walking after sunset - dark, narrow country lanes scenario. The lift-giving is starting to drive me slightly bonkers, especially on weekends. I don't want to be driving around at 10 o'clock at night it's my bedtime but the girlfriends' parents just aren't offering lifts themselves. How would you handle this? Do I just have to accept that this is it until they can drive? 😯(PS I am a single parent so can't share lifts with a DH!)

We just accepted it. It wasn’t just to visit girlfriends/boyfriends but also parties and such with groups of friends and even study groups meeting in the city. And so on.

That’s not to say it was without limits. If we were too tired or unwell, we would say sorry you are going to have to give this a pass or reschedule.

Much the same as @Discovereads , just accepted it but didn't do it if it didn't suit, or dictated the pick up time if possible.
They both learned to drive at 17 which changed everything.

I'm a single parent too.

Easy, Sorry no money for taxi driving, Sorted.

The girlfriends parents have a duty of care, surely?

Time to stand your ground or they will rough-shod over you

IMO as a single parent I don't see why you should share the brunt of the cost for this 'taxi service'.
Why not have a word with the girls' parents?
In any event it's light now until about 9.30pm so one of them could walk/cycle.
Does the 'dodgy' area not have any buses/trams?

Not great for us parents, but it's part if being a parent. We turned out three nights a week at 10pm to collect DD from work for fifteen months, and sometimes to get her to the 7am shift. This was a lockdown job and they kept her on. No public transport early or late, and no way we'd let our DD walk, cycle home on remote roads Previously she'd struggled as a student to get work, so wanted to make most of it. Hard to say no when she was working full-time, doing uni work as well as supporting a friend with problems.

You could set a limit on lifts and state some need to be daytime. Can the girls stay sometimes?

A couple of replies have said 'We just got on with it.' That's the thing, if it's 'we' then that's half the lifts I'm currently doing! And I really don't understand the girl's parents, they seem fine with letting the girls get home on their own. But I can't let a 14-year-old walk 5 miles down narrow country lanes. And my 16-year-old walks his GF home if there's no lift available, which means he's then walking back home even later thro slightly dodgy area. Guess I just need to accept this is my new reality (and save up for driving lessons!!)

I did say “we” but wanted to say it wasn’t half the lifts for our family. I cannot drive due to being disabled, so my DH is the daddy taxi. So you are not alone on that front.

I'm not a single parent, but did most of the driving them about as DH was working away or not able to due to work schedule.

I think you just have to accept it, sounds like your sons are fine young men who want to ensure their GFs get home safely ((even if that means a lift from mum). I can remember being a teenager and my Dad was the only parent who would collect us from the youth club disco or whatever ... I am over 60 now and my DF died last year aged 90 but what a wonderful example of parenting he gave me.

I was a single parent and I didn't give lifts. If they wanted to get anywhere they had to work out how to get themselves there and back. I would let teenagers of that age walk both of the routes you've described.

I think I’d limit the amount, you can’t be expected to offer endlessly.

Watching with interest, as I have this ahead of me sooner rather than later. DP doesn't drive, so it'll just be me doing it all as usual.

Unfortunately if you live in a place with public transport that's scarce or doesn't run where you want to go or at the time you want to go there then lifts are a necessity if you can drive. That's if you want your teenagers to have a social life, which I absolutely did. My Dad did it for me and my siblings and I did it for my DC.