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Original poster

What do you do with your dog if you're out of the house all day?

104 replies

confusedlots · 03/06/2022 13:50

I'll start this by saying we are definitely not dog people. I have a bit of a fear of larger dogs and just about put up with small ones.

We have a family member attending an upcoming gathering at our house, who owns a small dog. They'll probably end up being at our house from lunch time until maybe 7pm or 8pm. We've been informed that the dog will have to come too. I have already said that it can't come inside, and was told it will be kept outside. We don't have an enclosed area and I raised this too and was told it would be kept on a lead all day. We have a pet who will most likely be scared by the dog, although it won't be allowed into the house. I really don't want the dog here, but also don't want to be seen as being awkward so will just have to go with it and let the owner keep it outside on the lead all day.

But what do other people do in the same situation if you own a dog? Do you take it everywhere with you? Even to other people's houses?

OP posts:
hidinginthekitchenwithwine · 03/06/2022 15:48

just to add, we have cameras in the house
and can see the dogs on the rare occasions we leave them for more than a couple of hours. They're always snuggled together in their bed or on the sofa, or chasing each other around the kitchen!

Mariposista · 03/06/2022 15:51

I won't leave the dog more than 4,5 hours. If I know I will be longer, my gran can have him. He gets a very long walk beforehand, so he is tired, wee and poo, fed and then he usually spends the time sleeping. She loves being with him, and even though she can't walk him etc, he likes chilling out, pottering about in her garden and helping himself to her apples hahahaha

allfurcoatnoknickers · 03/06/2022 15:56

In that situation I'd do a massive walk in the morning and have a neighbour/friend/dogwalker come later in the evening to feed and do another walk and some cuddle time. I've got 2 adult JRTs and they'd be fine with that.

If your house was a long drive away I'd either see if the neighbour could have them over or board them overnight if it was something really special like a 21st birthday or a wedding. I wouldn't just demand to bring them along and then leave them outside.

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mindutopia · 03/06/2022 16:06

If she isn’t doing something with us, ours is in her crate. We couldn’t leave her all day, but she’d be fine for 4-5 hours. I’d never bring her to someone else’s house unless she was specifically invited. In this situation, I’d leave her at home and stay for a shorter period of time.

Original poster
confusedlots · 03/06/2022 16:24

I find it quite rude for them to just say the dog is coming too, especially knowing we're not dog people, but I'm trying to do my best here without causing friction. It's DH's side of the family and of course he doesn't think about these things practically. I had to explain to him that the dog wouldn't be coming inside and that it could easily run off if outside without a lead so he relayed this to the family member who said that was ok. It wouldn't have occurred to him to say anything himself beforehand, and then that could have been even more awkward on the day.

Somehow it always seems to be me who has to bring these things up and then it looks like it's only me who has the issue, whereas DH just goes along whatever anyone says cause he just doesn't think them through. That's why I don't want to be the one who says the dog can't come, but I've had to lay down some ground rules and we'll see how it goes.

Thinking about it, not many of our friends have dogs, but no one has ever brought their dog to our house before.

OP posts:
Thedogshouses · 03/06/2022 16:33

I always have a minimum of 2 (endless fostered overseas) and mine just used the cat flap before I had live in help. I have a furbo and obvs if they had separation disorder, would make other arrangements. But mine could cope for a day without people as long as they have a cat flap and a furbo shooting treats at them regularly.

LadyCatStark · 03/06/2022 16:43

We would either come at lunch time and leave at 4 or 5 or come about 4 and stay til 8. If we wanted to be there all day we’d send him to the home boarder for an overnight stay and pick him up on the morning.

Titsflyingsouth · 03/06/2022 16:47

I'd leave it with a dog sitter for the day.

I love my dog to bits but I wouldn't dream of foisting it on someone who didn't like dogs. Nor would I keep it tied up in a back garden all day- completely unfair and infeasible.

Buildingthefuture · 03/06/2022 16:52

No I absolutely would NOT expect to take any of my dogs to someone’s house, especially someone who clearly doesn’t like dogs….and then leave the dog outside all day? No. In that scenario, I would give my dogs a good walk in the morning, book my dog sitter from 3-6pm, then walk them again when I get home. My lot are generally very well behaved and always immaculate at home. But a new house with new smells always runs the risk of them doing something embarrassing, like pissing up a curtain!! Best avoided!!!

Stompythedinosaur · 03/06/2022 16:56

Dogsitter take her with us, or decline the invitation. I prefer the dog's company to most of my family so I don't consider it a hardship!

satelliteheart · 03/06/2022 17:32

We have a doggy door and a very chilled out dog so leaving her for the whole day wouldn't bother me. We'd give her a decent walk in the morning and spend some time throwing a ball for her in the garden so she was worn out and then she'd just chill out in her bed. I only take her to people's houses when expressly invited

Dh works from home and I'm a sahm so she's not left for long periods during the week. If she was left all day mon-fri I'd probably feel guilty about doing it at the weekends too

ImplementingTheDennisSystem · 03/06/2022 18:03

3 times in our dog's 7 year life so far, we've left her for 9 hours - and it's been for something really tricky like a christening a long way away.
I'm less and less inclined to do that as time goes on, so these days would either have a friend look after her or would decline to attend the social event if she wasn't invited.

Maytodecember · 03/06/2022 18:30

@confusedlots What will happen if it rains?

Babyroobs · 03/06/2022 18:50

Keeping it outside on a lead all day is ridiculous. What if it is raining or very hot?

custardbear · 03/06/2022 18:54

This F'ing irritates me so much, my IL's expect everyone to host their fucking dreadfully behaved mutt. My cats freak out and no-one likes their dog.
If you can perhaps ask them to get them into a kennel - we're too far beyond this now. Sadly.

BiteyShark · 03/06/2022 18:55

Dog sitter or we decline invite.

PussInBin20 · 03/06/2022 18:57

If it’s going to be stuck outside tied with a lead all day on it’s own, it may as well stay at home. Neither option is much fun for the dog if it’s left for hours.

However, I also think they are agreeing to this but in reality they will want to bring the dog in and it will then be your “fault” if the poor thing is howling or being rained on etc.

You have been warned!

Original poster
confusedlots · 03/06/2022 19:50

Maytodecember · 03/06/2022 18:30

@confusedlots What will happen if it rains?

I have no idea. As much as I don't want the dog here, I can't go as far as saying that without causing friction and it looking like I'm the one being difficult, and the dog owner knows the deal, so in my eyes it's up to them to figure out how to work around that or make alternative arrangements.

The dog will definitely not be allowed inside. I'm worried that we're already setting a precedent for future gatherings by having the dog here at all, and if it's allowed inside then that will be expected in the future too

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 03/06/2022 19:58

We would get a dog sitter. Or they stay with a friend for the day.
It may well wee/poo in your garden? Wouldn’t that bother you?

Original poster
confusedlots · 03/06/2022 21:08

Wolfiefan · 03/06/2022 19:58

We would get a dog sitter. Or they stay with a friend for the day.
It may well wee/poo in your garden? Wouldn’t that bother you?

Well I hope that dog owner will pick up any poos and dispose of them? It's a little dog that likes to run around a lot so I really can't see it staying on a lead for so long, but just going to have to see how it goes.

OP posts:
Notanotherwindow · 03/06/2022 21:18

If its evening and not warm or very cold weather they'd come with and sleep in the car or they'd stay at home and our neighbour would go in every few hours and let them out for a wee and check on them.

Obviously most friends are fine with them and invite me to bring them as they're very well behaved but if not I treat it the same as I would the kids. I find someone to watch them or make other arrangements.

rolotops · 03/06/2022 21:24

Ours would be fine to be left for this long on an occasional basis. Big walk in the morning and lots of attention when we get home. She's not a puppy though.

OddSocksandRainbowDocs · 03/06/2022 21:32

trulyconfuseddotcom · 03/06/2022 15:32

For anyone who thinks it's ok to leave a dog at home for 8 hours, I'd like to see how you felt if you had to stay at home for 8 hours without being allowed to use the toilet. Not particularly comfortable, I'll wager.

@trulyconfuseddotcom The same way he manages overnight when he's asleep for 8 hours. Because that's exactly what he does when we're at work all day - sleep :)

GetThatHelmetOn · 03/06/2022 21:34

Her dog her problem, tell her that it doesn’t work for you. She can come for 4 hours if that’s as much as she is willing to leave the dog alone.

shiningstar2 · 03/06/2022 21:45

I would shorten the time I could attend ...maybe 2.00 until 6.00 as we are prepared to leave our dog approx 5 hours max including travel times. I would ask if this was ok and if so ask for the particular times my host would prefer me to attend. If this wasn't acceptable. On very rare occasions, if it was important to me and the host that I was there the whole time, I would ask my daughter to have my dog. If she was also attending it would be a decline if it involved more than the max time I would leave the dog.

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