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Ghosted by friend

1 reply

wibblewobbleball · 03/06/2022 07:41

I have known my friend for 25 years, we were best friends throughout late childhood and our teens / early 20s. We grew apart a little as we started work etc but were still close and saw each other through a lot. About 5 years ago, we were both in relationships living with our partners. We used to see each other every few months, and text about once a week/speak on the phone. I got engaged, and when I messaged her to tell her, she wrote back "wow" and then a little later "congratulations" with no kisses or questions as to how it happened which I found a little strange. I didn't hear from her as much in the months afterwards and then found out I was pregnant. I told her and got a similarly lukewarm response. I then didn't hear from her at all for months, she didn't respond to my attempts to speak. I eventually saw her for coffee a few months into my pregnancy and she said she had found it difficult as she (unknown to me) had been trying to get pregnant for two years. I was understanding and said ultimately the ball was in her court from here, as I would love her to continue to be part of my life and my baby's but understood she needed to play it however she needed to. I didn't hear from her after that, I was deep down very hurt as I had said I was suffering terribly from depression, made worse by the pregnancy and postnatal period. I have still heard nothing from her and we are now a few years down the road. I have heard through mutual friends that she and her partner as now engaged and they have found out they're unable to have children which must be very sad for her. Has this type of ghosting happened to anyone else? I try to move on but i think of her often, and feel very hurt. Is there anything I can do to make myself accept that this long standing friendship has just gone?

OP posts:
pictish · 03/06/2022 07:46

I think she checked out of the friendship a long time ago owing to her own state of mind and circumstances. It certainly doesn’t sound like you have done anything wrong.
It has probably been too long now to pick it up again.

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