A name for a man equivalent to calling a woman darling

[ValerieCupcake]

I hate being called darling by people when out and about. Usually men. Instead of starting a scene I want to respond with a name of my own and if they object I'd say well you called me darling. What name though? Flower? Sweet cheeks? My little fairy cake?

I think the point is (and I'm not a regular on the feminist boards!) is that there Is no equivalent that "puts men in their place" in the same way. If you say love or darling back it just sounds funny. There is no put down for men that has that same tinge of humiliation or "getting out of your box".

How different we all are.

Where I live it's common to call people darling, love, duck, flower... men and women both. I called the delivery man petal only this morning and he called me sunshine. Is it wrong? Why? I've always taken it as friendly - never had anyone take offense to me either.

Sugartits

Call him Princess. He'll probably find it humiliating to be called a female name.

I’d be quite partial to a “poppet” in response to such an incident. Nicely condescending.

Round here, duck is used by everyone to everyone so it wouldn’t have the same impact I don’t think.

Or maybe go a bit left field with a “Shithead”.

I find twinkle toes particularly infuriating, imagine a man would too

I like poppet, usually reserved for small children though.

@PuppyMonkey, where did you find the grin emoji? Since MN upgraded the site, the selection of facial expressions I can choose doesn’t seem to have it any more, and it was my favourite.

Also it encourages them if you call them a nice name.

Sweetie

I love pet names, I miss it when I'm not in the UK! Maybe I have mummy issues, but it makes me feel like the other person is open and warm when they use it, it's very familiar - and I like it.

But sunshine sounds so passive aggressive, I've never heard it said it an endearing way😂

@Babdoc

Press the smiley face in the bottom left of the message box and go along to the blue "M"

@Babdoc there's an M that has all the old emojis

Yay! So that’s where they hid it!
Thanks, both.

Which is why something exaggerated, like honeybunny or as a pp suggested cupcake, works best.

I think what people forget is that for many it's not trying to demean you or put you in your place it's just the way some people speak. Being overly reactive to it will just have people (male or female) looking at you thinking to themselves who's the nutter what's her problem.

Same here. I've never really taken offence. I tend to call everyone love or duck. Maybe it's a regional thing?

Pal, shag, matey, cocker 😂

Bitch tits?

Arsehole

I call everyone darling or love. My dad calls everyone love or darling. I don’t really see it as a gendered thing. As does my mum. If it’s not out of malice just leave it alone, or say it back!

“oh hi Toots, yeah I’m good thanks”

Yes!

‘Alright, darling?’
’Yes, thank you, random man’

‘Wotcha, darling!’
’Wotcha, random man!’

Perfect!

Loving the suggestions.

I'm not offended. I just hate it.

I was married to someone with a surname that sounds not dissimilar to the word too which I also hate.

Hear you @ValerieCupcake

"Bud'

Or Darling right back at them. They'd stop soon enough i bet.

I love the poster upthread who darlinged back and said "oh i thought it was the office culture" ha!