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Original poster

DH let's 3 year old drive his car off the drive

71 replies

Imthekingsmummy · 02/06/2022 09:13

I've never been comfortable with this and said I didn't want him to do it months and months ago but he still does almost everyday.

He sits ds either in his knee or next to him in the front seat (no car seat or booster etc) and drives off the drive and on to the road. Only a few yards but he's still going onto the road and a car could speed round the corner at anytime. It's happened before and gone into our neighbours fence!

Also what would the police say if they came round the corner and saw it?

I'm not comfortable with it at all.

Am I being ridiculous or sensible?! DH thinks ridiculous so wondered if it's just me and what the majority of people think.

OP posts:
ProseccoStorm · 02/06/2022 09:50

We do this occasionally but on our own drive / road where there is no one else and speeds circa 5 mph.

Kids love it, and we're still in charge of the car, can't see how we'd have an accident.

I absolutely 100% would not allow it on public roads. Ever.

GirlInACountrySong · 02/06/2022 10:00

@ProseccoStorm

Do you put your own seatbelts on?

Onwards22 · 02/06/2022 10:00

I’m a very anxious parent but even I think these replies are OTT.

There’s nothing wrong with it and there’s no way he’s going to hit something or have the air bag released etc like some of these replies are suggesting.

If it was for a long time then it’s different as a vehicle could crash into them but there’s no way they could crash in this situation so it’s fine and your son will have fond memories forever.

Poppins2016 · 02/06/2022 10:02

I wouldn't be happy with this either. Your DH wouldn't be able to react fast enough and your son wouldn't be safe in the case of emergency. He presumably wouldn't let your son drive 'a few yards' along a short stretch of road further away because it's too risky... but the same risks apply to 'a few yards' right outside your own house.

I sometimes let my three year old sit in the drivers seat and play with the steering wheel (engine off and keys out of the ignition!) but that's as far as far as the fun goes (it only stays fun if it's safe!).

Porcupineintherough · 02/06/2022 10:06

One of my easiest and happiest childhood memories was of sitting on my dad's lap and him letting me "steer" the car onto the drive. I must have been about 3 and can remember being dismayed at how many years I'd have to wait to drive a car by myself (don't think I could even count that high).

Anyway I think YABU. Lots of thi gs in childhood involve the trade off of slight risk against great pleasure and the risk here is very small.

Porcupineintherough · 02/06/2022 10:07

earliest

Winterhail · 02/06/2022 10:08

A three year old can't reach the pedals, so dad is still in control of the car.

It's a very tiny risk, it's down the drive, not the fast lane of the M1.

ToastedCrumpetwithCheese · 02/06/2022 10:11

Absolutely not driving across a public footpath and onto a public road 🤔What on earth happens when little Johnny on his scooter appears out of nowhere, your DH slams on the brakes and Johnny's mum looks in the car and sees your toddler sat on his lap steering the car!!?

Your own private road or on your own land, then fine.

Badbadbunny · 02/06/2022 10:13

would the police say if they came round the corner and saw it?

Probably nothing. One of our neighbours is a police constable who used to let his young child sit on his knee and steer his car up and down the street. Saw him do it in his police car once!

Poppins2016 · 02/06/2022 10:14

Onwards22 · 02/06/2022 10:00

I’m a very anxious parent but even I think these replies are OTT.

There’s nothing wrong with it and there’s no way he’s going to hit something or have the air bag released etc like some of these replies are suggesting.

If it was for a long time then it’s different as a vehicle could crash into them but there’s no way they could crash in this situation so it’s fine and your son will have fond memories forever.

There might be no way they would hit something (although I'd argue there's always a small chance)... but the OP said:

"drives off the drive and on to the road. Only a few yards but he's still going onto the road and a car could speed round the corner at anytime. It's happened before and gone into our neighbours fence!"

So there's a chance they could be hit by another driver and be crashed into...

Even a 'short time' is still an amount of time on a public road. It's still a risk. A crash only ever needs a short space of time to take place even if the total amount of time spent driving that day was hours...

There are other, safer ways to make precious memories. Or driving could be done where there's definitely no chance of meeting other traffic (as previous posters have mentioned, fields or long driveways, etc...). A public road with other unsuspecting drivers is simply dangerous.

ProseccoStorm · 02/06/2022 10:14

@GirlInACountrySong

Depends, if we're coming back from somewhere and they were on yes. If we were just 'driving' for fun, no

LightDrizzle · 02/06/2022 10:15

@Onwards22 - did you miss the fact that they “drive” off the driveway into the road before stopping?

Shitfuckcommaetc · 02/06/2022 10:16

ToastedCrumpetwithCheese · 02/06/2022 10:11

Absolutely not driving across a public footpath and onto a public road 🤔What on earth happens when little Johnny on his scooter appears out of nowhere, your DH slams on the brakes and Johnny's mum looks in the car and sees your toddler sat on his lap steering the car!!?

Your own private road or on your own land, then fine.

Well I assume little Johnny's mum carries on to catch up with her son on a scooter

JemimaTiggywinkle · 02/06/2022 10:20

Onwards22 · 02/06/2022 10:00

I’m a very anxious parent but even I think these replies are OTT.

There’s nothing wrong with it and there’s no way he’s going to hit something or have the air bag released etc like some of these replies are suggesting.

If it was for a long time then it’s different as a vehicle could crash into them but there’s no way they could crash in this situation so it’s fine and your son will have fond memories forever.

Well if there’s fond memories being made nothing else matters!

Completely irresponsible. Can your DH see the road properly over DS’s head? They could easily hit a child. Or be hit sideways themselves by a car such as the accident described in the OP. Even at a slow speed it could be dangerous as DS won’t be wearing a seatbelt presumably.

JustAnotherMillennial · 02/06/2022 10:21

Its one thing doing it on a paddock in the middle of nowhere (yes I had a crack with my dad's at about five on a friend's farm) but out of a driveway in suburbia, no bloody way, whole bunch of hazards.

GirlInACountrySong · 02/06/2022 10:21

Onwards22 · 02/06/2022 10:00

I’m a very anxious parent but even I think these replies are OTT.

There’s nothing wrong with it and there’s no way he’s going to hit something or have the air bag released etc like some of these replies are suggesting.

If it was for a long time then it’s different as a vehicle could crash into them but there’s no way they could crash in this situation so it’s fine and your son will have fond memories forever.

Statistically where do most road traffic accidents occur?

DuesToTheDirt · 02/06/2022 10:23

God, absolutely not. Shock

GirlInACountrySong · 02/06/2022 10:24

They are driving off the driveway onto a public road....he's not in full control as he has an unpredictable kid on his lap!

So it could be a general road user caught up in this accident waiting to happen as well?

Mosaic123 · 02/06/2022 10:25

Isn't it illegal as DH is not fully in control of the car?

If DH is so happy with it ask him to check with a Policeman or his insurance company.

Make sure you are present to hear the answer.

I bet he won't want to.

womaninatightspot · 02/06/2022 10:30

I let my kids drive the car down the drive 250m ( I'm rural) sitting on my knee. I do the pedals they do the steering. Not onto the main road though. I've been doing this for ten years since the eldest was two. Travelling at about 6-7 mph never had an issue.

GirlInACountrySong · 02/06/2022 10:31

womaninatightspot · 02/06/2022 10:30

I let my kids drive the car down the drive 250m ( I'm rural) sitting on my knee. I do the pedals they do the steering. Not onto the main road though. I've been doing this for ten years since the eldest was two. Travelling at about 6-7 mph never had an issue.

Yeah cos you are on your drive with no general public? Bit different to the op..

starlingdarling · 02/06/2022 10:33

I used to love doing this with my Dad. I'd do it with my own child on that particular road. Hard to describe so I've attached a photo. It was a long wide road with a one way system. At the end you drove round a curved bit and came back up another long wide road on the other side. Unless there was a church service at the end of the road there wasn't really any traffic and you used to see lots of kids driving on their parents laps (in cars, vans and even tractors) but I guess it was also the 90s when parents thought nothing of smoking around children. Where I live now I wouldn't because it's busier with pedestrians and there's a blind corner nearby that people tend to zoom around. The risks are totally different.

DH let's 3 year old drive his car off the drive
bilbodog · 02/06/2022 10:38

We had a neighbour years ago who would do things like this - when they went camping a few years later dad came back from the shop to see his car disappearing into the river with 10 year old at the wheel……….. luckily child was rescued but car was written off.

toomuchlaundry · 02/06/2022 10:55

For those saying it is okay and safe, I assume you don’t check when you come off your drive. If you have to check for hazards whilst driving off your drive it can’t be safe to have your child on your lap ‘driving’.

For those saying you did it years ago, you probably didn’t have a car with an airbag. Wouldn’t like to see the aftermath if the airbag goes off in your 3 year old’s face

MountainClimber22 · 02/06/2022 11:16

I used to do this with my grandad. It's only holding the steering wheel for a few seconds on the drive.

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