I've lost sight of what a normal diet look like

[Bakedpotatoesfortea]

I've been on so many diets over the years and struggled with binge eating, mostly due to medication side effects (ADs). I'm now trying to just eat a normal diet, but I realise I've lost sight of what that looks like. I also would love to try and model a normal balanced diet to my DC who have some of their own food issues (sensory, and ARFID).

My idea was

Breakfast Toast and/or Cereal, with fruit
Lunch Sandwich, crisps and fruit/veg sticks
Dinner Spag Bol/ curry/ roast etc.
Dessert Usually fruit, sometimes yoghurt, jelly, home baked cake.
Snacks fruit, veg sticks, nuts, boiled egg or a slice of cheese (only if I'm hungry).

Does that seem about right? There seems to be so many different ways to eat it makes my head hurt trying to work out how to eat 'normally' again

Sounds fine. I probably wouldn't eat crisps every day, lovely tho they are. My diet is pretty much like that, I also aim to get lots of vegetables in, so sometimes have soup or salad at lunchtime.

I think your sample menu is fine. It's not what I eat but it is the sort of things I see others eat or talk about. I'd throw in a bit of variation around lunch time to include soups, salads etc. Vary things a bit more at the weekend, eggs for breakfast perhaps or replace breakfast and lunch with brunch. Maybe with the odd treat thrown in now and then.

When I think about 'normal' healthy eating, I look back to the diet my grandmother. She was a good cook but ate very simply and almost entirely produce not products, cooking from scratch using seasonal produce.

I wish I had some family to model on but nobody I'm related to has a normal relationship with food!

I think alongside food choices you also need to make sure your portion sizes aren't too large, as this can very quickly increase your daily calorie intake and push it above where it should be, whilst looking like you're eating a 'normal' diet.

I'm always reminded of an ex colleague who was constantly on a diet and bemoaning the fact she only had a sandwich for lunch and kept putting weight on. I saw said sandwich and it was a loaf she cut herself with huge buttered doorsteps and thickly sliced cheese with Mayo. I'm guessing easily 700/800+ calories alone.

I find SlimmingWorld quite good for 'normal' food. It's very clear that some foods can be eaten reasonably freely, while others need careful portion control. Cereal and bread are among the latter.

Basically fruit and veg and lean protein can be eaten freely. As much as you want, really.

Go easy on the butter, oil, sugar and wheat.

I would think that’s a pretty regular British diet.

I eat mainly home cooked Chinese food, lots of veg, meat and fish and small amounts of rice and noodles. Far more veg is eaten than fruit. Almost never eat pudding, have yogurt sometimes just wasn’t raised eating it. I eat one piece of fruit a day.

I think it’s probably portion size, buy an old style dinner plate they are much smaller.

I think that a photo of meals would actually be helpful because as @RubiesandRose writes a sandwich is very variable. My DS idea of a sand which is four slices of bread and huge amounts of filling.

I don’t think MN is a great place to get an idea of a balanced diet tbh, there is no such thing as normal and you will get each extreme and everything in the middle here. I would consult NHS sources for advice.

I'm not eating this diet. I'm trying to establish a more 'normal' relationship with food and this was my idea of what that might look like.

By a sandwich I would mean something like a sandwich thin with 2 slices wafer thin ham, some lettuce maybe cucumber and tomato as well, and a little bit of mayo.

I'm not concerned about losing weight, just eating a more regular pattern if that makes sense.

That's more or less how I eat maybe a bit more variation.

Breakfast is porridge with fruit/eggs/toast/crumpets with cottage cheese. I avoid sugary spreads and cereals.

Lunch is a sandwich hot or cold with some kind of protein & salad varying from a small roll to a pitta or wrap to thick crusty bread.

Dinner is a homemade meal with protein veg and a carb like potatoes or pasta.

I eat crisps maybe twice a month, puddings are usually yoghurt and snacks are nuts, cheese, egg, hummus, fruit.

It's hard to know what a normal diet should look like because so many people swear by cutting out this or that.

Out of interest op what are you eating at the moment?

I find the NHS guidance really confusing and when I've asked for advice just been told to 'eat/ feed DC a regular balanced diet'

I feel like that sounds so simple but when I sit down to do it I find it overwhelming just having so many different ideas of what that could look like. I find it overwhelming all the different options out there and just fall back into a pattern of skipping meals and then binging on whatever when I'm past hungry. I have been skinny, slim, overweight and obese eating that pattern. It's just always been chaos.

My whole family is the same way and I want to break that generational pattern. But it's hard when I don't have anything to model my eating on. I feel so unsure if I'm doing it right.

I'm in a similar boat OP. As you can see from this thread so are a lot of people in terms of having certain beliefs about food - no food is "fattening" not even cake. I understand you're after a balanced diet that feels "normal". I really recommend looking at a "balanced food" plate, you can buy online. They have 3 painted areas showing a portion of veg, carbs, protein and healthy fat. It can give you a sense of how you'd make your idea of normal meals feel balanced.

I would advise you try and get more protein in your breakfast, that way you stay fuller for longer.
For example breakfast could be boiled or scrambled eggs and wholegrain toast, or greek yoghurt with nuts and berries, or wholegrain toast with peanut butter and banana. It will stop you craving food between meals.

Some alternative lunch ideas could also be a slice of quiche or a frittata you made the night before - both quite filling and can be eaten cold with salad on the side.

I am also a binge eater and could have written your post. I also have only disordered eating in my family background as role models (bulimia mostly).

I was thinking of trying a meal plan of roughly what you have written, but am not goood with refined carbs that bloat me to painful levels. So my plan was;

B- fruit, natural full fat yoghurt and a boiled egg
L- Homemade soups with pulses
D- meat and vegetables.

Snack- veg sticks, babybel cheeses etc.

I agree that there is so much conversation around food that I have become completely incapable of assessing what is 'normal' and what is healthy.

It's hard. I would like to lose weight though, but suffer from binge eating (previously bulimia myself) so if I start being very restrictive I start to emotionally panic.

I’d have more cooked veg tbh, lots of veg as sides. You don’t have to make loads of exciting meals, just pick a few types of veg up (whatever is in season) and cook alongside whatever your protein choice is.

Honestly today My diet has been awful (but not that unusual)

Diet cola
Sugar free Energy drink
Slice of leftover pizza
More diet cola
Crisps
Flapjack, plum
Half a litre of water
Half a litre of fruit Squash
Chunk of cucumber with hot sauce

Dinner is going to be chicken burger, with lettuce and Mayo in a bun, with a big salad and some pickled onions.

I sometimes eat rice for breakfast. You don't need to rigidly stick to cereal or toast for breakfast.
There's probably too much bread in British diets.

That was moreorless the diet I grew up on as a child, teenager and well into my 20s.

In 30's I swapped cereal for blueberries, yogurt and granola (or just blueberries and granola).

And added more salads. and had less desserts.

What I do now is breakfast:

blueberries, granola and yogurt - swap for oatso simple and blueberries in winter.

Weekends - bagel with spread or peanut butter/marmite or wholemeal toast with peanut butter and marmite. Occasionally scrambled eggs on toast or bagel.

Lunch I do vary as being:

quiche/potato salad/salad
sandwich (usually homemade egg mayo and cress or cheese and pickle) with cherry tomatoes
sometimes jacket potato with filling

dinners:

a lot is veggie or fish based (fish cakes) or chicken. Hardly ever any red meat.
Try to cut down on potatoes too.

As someone who’s been working on this for two years (guided by a therapist and dietician), my key advice is to think about the difference between fullness and satisfaction. If a meal fills you up but leaves you unsatisfied, you might compensate with bingeing later. Don’t fixate on what you eat so much as how it makes you feel in the moment and afterwards. That means tons of variety and getting over any ingrained strictures about perfect nutrition. A filling, satisfying meal looks different every time: some days, it’s crisps and a sandwich; on others, it’s a crunchy salad of 4/5 types of veg with dressing, chicken, avocado plus a pitta bread on the side (just to use recent examples of my lunches!). All foods can nourish your body and mind, and as the anxiety around food diminishes, you may notice you don’t obsess over or fear food and feel content.

I saw a friend for the first time in 3.5yrs recently and she commented on how content I am, and I realised, yes, I am! The peace that comes from no longer obsessing or worrying about food and diets is invaluable.

It’s probably “normal” insofar as it’s what I imagine a lot of people eat, but I don’t think it’s aspirational. It’s very carby and low in protein and veg. I know you’re not looking to lose weight but I’d put weight on with that diet.

Suggest swapping cereal/toast for yogurt with fruit and a couple of spoons of granola.

Lunch salad with plenty of protein. I do a “Mexican” salad with greens, avocado, spicy chicken, sour cream and cheese. Not healthy but less carby.

Your suggested menu was fine, not what I would eat but ok. I would move the pudding to lunchtime and ditch the crisps.

Todays is rubbish. All those diet drinks and very little actual food. Don't think of diet coke or energy drinks as in any way "good" for you. Tea, coffee, water, squash all much better.