How do I become less impatient?

[demotedreally]

I annoy myself!

It is particularly bad when we are going somewhere and other people are taking time to be ready. Today's example is packing up to come home from camping. There is not really any rush but I don't want to still be there at lunchtime. I can feel myself getting snappy with people. I nearly yelled at DH for taking a leisurely walk to empty the water.

How do I slow up?

My mother is like this and it has always driven us bonkers. The realisation I have become the same is.... 😱

I feel you’re pain, I’m the same and it seems that we have to live with it.

I’m the same!
I also try to be logistically time efficient.
I don’t want to walk the same walk twice if I can do it once with the same result. My chap drives me mad! It’s simply not efficient but I’ve had to learn patience!
Drives me nuts.

I’m exactly the same way. I’m like this with everyone. I just try not to show it but sometimes i still slip and it comes out. I wish I wasn’t this way as my father was and it made me miserable as a child.

Have you communicated and agreed when you want / plan to leave by? I have found that sometimes I have unspoken expectations which other people don't know about, and voicing them helps a lot.

Just breathe……… and tell yourself they’re different to you, which is why you love them so much, then breathe again! That impatient moment will pass

I find breathing and thinking about the bigger picture helps. So thinking about the day ahead and getting home not just that you want to be gone by lunchtime etc. also try and realise that other people have worries but they’re not stressing and taking it out on you so don’t do it to them!

I am the same OP and would love to know how to change!

This is the same as loving being in a clean, tidy, organised home, and then living with a DH and dcs. Constant bloody mess and disorder. Just have to learn patience. Just let people be, breathe deeply and keep quiet.

I'm working on this at the moment and I can only give my own conclusions to how I operate. I am hugely impatient and very Type A and I think my behaviour comes from two things.

One is anxiety. Not necessarily specific but a deeply held belief that if I don't get everything "right" or it all doesnt run like clockwork then something nameless awful will happen or basically I have failed. I know rationally that's not true , and it's not severe enough to be OCD but it's a basically held belief its my responsibility to have everything run perfectly to a made up timetable in my head or I'm wrong somehow.

The other side of it I am unlearning since my divorce (6 years ago so its been a long process) when all of the planning and organisation fell to me. So I jad to achieve everything with two dc and a man baby (exdh ) and because of that I had to control everything or exdh would absolutely( and did ) screw things up and cost us money or a consequence. So I would be impatient because he made everything take three times as long.

To be fair dp is absolutely not like that, holds up his half of the house so to speak so I've been able to relax but I do sometimes fall into old patterns.

No quick fixes really but what's helped me mostly is realising I usually create an arbitrary timetable so I can break it if I want and the world won't end. I worked out what was really important and what was stuff I was taught was important but wasn't really (I come from a very social climbery background where lots of things were random silly arbitrary rules that made me common or rude or lazy if I didn't adhere to them.....turns out the vast majority of it was total and absolute rubbish).