Anyone awake? DD Meltdown

[MillyMoo1113]

Anyone awake?

Laid in bed feeling helpless and don't know what else to do.

DD is 18 and waiting for autism and adhd referral and has a history of mental health issues/self harm/ 2 suicide attempts.

She is currently having a meltdown about something she has lost.

I've looked but can't find it but can't focus properly as I take meds for sleep so am groggy.

I can take tomorrow off work to look for it, but right now, she's trashing her room, crying, kicking, banging.

I don't know what to do. I feel like she needs a sedative. I can't help til I've slept off my meds but I can't sleep til she's settled.

So am laid here crying. I know how to handle her meltdowns normally. I've stayed calm, I've been clear and concise in what I've said, but if she doesn't find the item she's lost, she's going to die apparently.

So just needed to post, sure there's a night owl somewhere whose awake, just need a hand hold

Here’s another hand to hold if it helps and sending you un MN hugs. Is there any possibility she also has ADHD? The medication has helped my ds to feel calmer

Morning, thank you for all your messages. I think I finally slept about 4ish, she's had a couple of hours and is back awake now rooting through her room for it.

I've messaged my manager and am taking the morning off.

There literally is no one but me in terms of an adult that could help her at a time like that. My brother is great with her, but is up at 4am as a postman and has enough going on with his own kids with additional needs. I do need to work out a plan tho.

Her executive function is shot, her room is a mess at the best of times but she always seems to know where stuff is. She absolutely is at capacity for what her brain can cope with atm and this has pushed her over the edge

She is waiting for ADHD and autism diagnosis, I know she has them, I work in education with young people and adults.

I'm going to get caffeine so I can face her and her room properly, will update later.

Glad you've been able to get the morning off work.

Your DD sounds really distressed. I hope you're able to help her find the missing items. The anxiety that goes along with autism and ADHD really is horrible. And the executive functioning difficulties are so bloody frustrating - no matter how hard you try not to lose stuff, it's like there are pixies that follow you around moving everything!!!

Once the AWOL retainer appears can you try and formulate a plan for the next couple of days, just to get her through this stressful period? While she's at maximum capacity any little thing might just tip her over the edge again so if you can reduce demands in any way temporarily, this might help.

Ah op I’m glad you got a least a tiny bit of sleep and are able to take the day off. I’m also glad she’s getting hopefully a dual dx. I read a really good study yesterday that said emotional dysregulation episodes reduce with the adhd medication for lots of people. I really hope it has this effect for her

FOUND!!!!

After an hour and half of me gutting her room it is found.

Peace is restored and she's currently chatting to her friend on the phone like nothings happened.

I can work from home when I need to, I need to go into work to see one student this afternoon but other than that my manager is happy for me to work from home this week and to take what time I need to sort stuff for her.

So grateful to have such a supportive manager.

Thank you to everyone who has posted, feels so lonely at times when she's like this.

Brilliant!!!!! So pleased op

So happy for you both x

Glad it's found and that you have a supportive manager.

Would she be up for you giving her a hand to sort the room and make it easier to keep in a semblance of order? She's very lucky to have a lovely mum like you.

Glad you found it and that you got some sleep.

I spent some time tidying her room and we're going to have another go on one of the bank holidays. She's also finally agreed to let me be advocate for UC and PIP applications when she finishes college. I don't think she'll ever cope with full time work but she does want to work. I've just said one thing at a time