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Original poster

Teen tattoo

29 replies

grainoftruth · 29/05/2022 08:33

Long story short - discovered DD18 has got herself a tattoo. About 12cm long across the small of her back - looks well-heeled so obviously not brand new. She was a weird mix of sheepish and triumphant when I saw it.

In the interests of transparency - DH has tattoos so she knows we wouldn't have a leg to stand on if we went off our heads about it.

I can't say that I'm thrilled - I think it's really young to make a lifetime commitment plus I'm personally not a fan of where it is. Also, I think tattoos are better when the design has some meaning or significance.

However, well aware that it's her body, her choice.

But... recently, there has been a lot of pushing of boundaries, staying out very late, dropping college course, not wanting to spend any time as a family, etc. It's like she wants to erase the person she used to be.

I feel like this is yet another 'fuck you' to us and everything we stand for.

I wish she hadn't had the tattoo but we've all done stupid shit at that age and it isn't up to me. I just feel really uncomfortable about the secretive behaviour around it.

So if you've read this far, would you...
a) say nowt
b) have a talk about secretive behaviour and how it makes for an uneasy atmosphere??

OP posts:

DonnaRhea · 29/05/2022 09:19

Been there and got the t shirt
Whatever they do you tell them you love it, it's suits them blah blah
Play everything down then go into your bedroom and scream silently into your pillow

Perfect28 · 29/05/2022 09:20

She is an adult

Sushi7 · 29/05/2022 09:22

Are you usually judgemental, controlling and try to micro-manage her life? Maybe this is her way to break those “chain.” Not saying you are, but if you are then this is why she’s acting out. At least the tattoo is somewhere she can hide it.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Beauty

ineedsun · 29/05/2022 09:22

grainoftruth · 29/05/2022 09:13

Not intended to be a drip feed - I don't think the tattoo is in any way indicative of a MH crisis and as I say, she's a lot better than she was.

I know that she can do what she likes and I even get the point people have made about how making private decisions is a stage of growing up. I get it.

Given that it can't be reversed, I'm not sure why it was then kept a secret.

But really, going back to my OP, it was more about whether to address it or not. I'm thinking I will say nothing. If she wants to assert her independence, she can consider it asserted. If it's intended to shock, it won't have worked.

Because it’s important to her and she doesn’t want negativity at a guess.

I suppose (although if you don’t like tattoos you won’t get this and the analogy isn’t perfect) it’s a bit like a baby name. You choose it because you love it and it’s important to you for whatever reason, not everyone’s going to like it and some (really bloody rude) people will tell you that openly so if you don’t have to have people slag you off for your personal choices why would you?

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