TW my friend is gone

[DaftyLass]

A friend from school, of thirty years, had just ended his life.
I feel so helpless, and angry at myself, for not finding a way to help him.
He had tried before; I though he had turned a corner, with a new relationship and possible job.
I know, logically, nothing I could have said would have mattered, but I still feel such guilt.
At the same time, I can recognize that many others closer to him are hurting more, so I don't want to say anything

I know there is nothing anyone can say, I just needed to get it off my chest

How sad. I hope you and his other friends find comfort in each other.

Oh, I'm so sorry. How awful, how sad. I'm sending you a big <<hug>>

I'm not sure anything I say can help but I was very affected by a friend’s suicide years ago. My main feeling was ‘why?’ why do that when he could have spoken to someone?

I actually felt like I would never be happy again. He wasn't even a close friend but we shared something and it still really affected me. I was a mess for a while, I'd say a month.

What had an impact was something another friend said. I don't know why it had an impact and it may not have an impact for you but it's what I have. She said ‘it was his choice’ and the idea was I should respect his choice. I processed that, I spoke with his family, and eventually the pain disappeared. I just one day felt better. I obviously processed it.
Just give yourself time. I wrote a long letter to his father about my experience with him, and how he had affected my life and some anecdotes about what he was like, and his father appreciated it and I think this may have helped me process things.

Maybe write a similar letter? You don’t have to send it. R.I.P. to your friend.

I truly appreciate all the kindness, thank you

I just woke back up, my eyes a swollen so much from crying, it just feels so unreal.

It's a very, very difficult thing to process. I'm not sure you ever do, if you know what I mean. I'm so sorry this has happened. It's so final. It's the utter sadness of it, isn't it? That things could've been so different.

You will slowly learn to live with it in some way, to accept that it has happened and nothing can change the outcome. That your friend is at peace, and did what they felt was right for them.

I am so, so sorry. Sending love xx

I'm so sorry