My Mum is so ill with infection after chemo and I am really far away, feeling so shaky and weird

[Absentmindedwoman]

I'm in a different country and planning to get home. Everything feels weird and wrong and sort of slow motion and also, pointless. I drank a cup of tea when I got off the phone, just for something to do, but I don't really want to drink fucking tea.

I want to be in a different world where this isn't happening and obviously that isn't an option.

I am completely terrified for her. Don't know what it is yet but terrified it is sepsis or pneumonia or both and how successfully can it be dealt with?

Has anyone had experience of infections in a loved one who is already incredibly ill?

Yes, my DF got covid and an infection just after his chemo finished (he had chemo as an inpatient, so caught it in hospital). He had to have IV antibiotics for the infection and antivirals for the covid, but he came through. He ended up with an extra couple of weeks in hospital which wasn't much fun but he wasn't too bad considering. Hope your mum gets well soon 💐

Hi. Presumably your mother is in hospital? Did she get there quickly as soon as she had a temperature spike? That's really important during chemo. My father currently has a rare form of Leukemia and will shortly be undergoing a stem cell transplant. We were meant to be going abroad to see other family this summer, but will probably have to cancel so that we are not in another country if something goes wrong. I do understand how upsetting things like this are.

Anyway, back to your mother, they will be administering intravenous antibiotics immediately. This is common in anyone undergoing chemo. The hospital's don't mess around. Your mother will also have been told to get to hospital immediately (within an hour) at the first sign of a temperature spike or feeling unwell.

By contrast,when my fit and healthy husband had Sepsis, the Drs over looked it, he wasn't assessed properly, we were fobbed off and sent home and he ended up in a coma on life support. We had a small child and a baby at the time. That's the big danger...when Sepsis goes untreated for several days.

This will almost certainly not happen in your mother's case as she will bypass GPs and the usual delays and treatment will be fast tracked and immediate. They will treat it as a medical emergency. The hospitals are very very used to dealing with infections during chemo. It's to be expected. And infections are very treatable if caught early. It's only when they go untreated that the risk of Sepsis is high.

Hang in there. Get another cup of tea down you, whether you want one or not, phone the hospital for an update/or other relatives who live closer to your mother. Don't panic and feel as though you have to race back immediately. Look at flight options, but give yourself a few hours to calm down and assess the situation. If she's got an infection she may not want to see anyone, or you may not be allowed to see her for a couple of days or so anyway if she is in isolation. Talk to the consultant in charge and ask whether you need to get a flight back asap.

As above, all very wise words. I got sepsis a few times during chemo and as oioi says, they are extremely good at watching for this and dealing with it promptly. Big hugs

Thank you for your posts, they are really reassuring. It's calmed me down a bit to read that they can get on top of sepsis with prompt action even when somebody is vulnerable from chemo.

Fuck cancer.

Do you know whether she is neutropenic ? This is when blood counts drop after chemotherapy and people have very little resistance to infection. It can make any infection be a lot more serious and she will be supported with antibiotics and perhaps blood products etc if required until her blood counts improve.

As the others have said, she'll be having brilliant care taken of her and I'm sure it'll soon be under control. Like @Oioicaptain, my husband had a rare form of leukaemia (do feel free to pm me if you want to talk oioi, or anyone else) and had repeated infections during the initial phase of his treatment.

The scariest was pneumonia, but actually looking back the scariest bit of that was them struggling to find out what it was that he had, as again it was a rare form of pneumonia and it took almost 2 weeks to diagnose. Once they did and got him going on the right antibiotics, he went from death's door to sitting up in his hospital chair eating within 24 hours. I could hardly believe my eyes. They truly worked round the clock on him, he couldn't have had better care.

I do hope everything goes well for your lovely mum 💐

the oncology team will have dealt with this a thousand times so try to remember that. Infections after chemo are so common. Hope you get to be with her soon and she recovers well 💐

Have a handhold. It’s so hard. Cancer treatment is really brutal. Everyone else is right, though, this happens a lot and her medical team will be really on top of it.

hope you can get some sleep soon x

She will have best care in hospital. Ring and check if you can visit as not much point rushing back if you can't. As others have said she will be given intravenous antibiotics and nurses will check temperature, blood pressure every few hours. Try hard to stay calm. Panic won't help your Mum but will make you feel so much worse. I know it is hard when it's your Mum but trust Doctors and Nurses to give her the best care. I could not fault the cancer care my Mum got in hospital.

How's she doing OP? And how are you?

I ended up in hospital multiple times during my chemo treatment. Twice it was pneumonia (the other times were of "undiagnosed origins", which is very common apparently). The staff were amazing and on top of it straight away.

TBH, the absolute last thing I wanted was visitors. I just didn't have the emotional or physical bandwidth to deal with other people or their emotions. If you can text her, then do so, but don't pressure her to answer immediately, or at all.

I hope she's okay very soon.