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Original poster

Abandoned hope of this guy?

30 replies

Bagpusssays · 28/05/2022 20:47

My sanity rests with you...

Crush on single guy at work (I'm single. Work would have no issues if we dated).

Things progress and are pleasant between us, chatting at lunch and in breaks, lingering looks, getting to know each other.

He does not seem about to make a move.

I had a v stressful bad week at work last week. He wasn't supportive. Similarly a few weeks back I had a tough decision to make in my personal life. He was unfirthcoming.

I'm sensing he is emotionally not very capable...of offering support, of listening after a hard day, possibly even of figuring out his own feelings towards me.

I can swop my days in office so as not to see him (and hence get over my feelings). The risk is that if he is just a bit shy (which he certainly was with me...hands would shake, would turn bright red, now seems to have got past this) I could miss out on what is in other senses a very intelligent, reliable, hardworking and funny guy.

My friends say to be patient, but it's hard working in such close proximity to someone like this, getting all the dopamine hits, but no date! Plus I suspect others in the office may notice.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bagpusssays · 28/05/2022 22:46

ENoeuf · 28/05/2022 22:39

Would it not be 'effect' rather than 'affect' ? Interested in why not?
On topic , maybe he felt there was nothing to add if several colleagues had been sympathetic?

Show quote history

Yes it should be effect.😁

OP posts:
Yellowshirt · 28/05/2022 23:06

If he is shy and the shaking hands and redness of the face is definitely a sign of a shy person he won't make the first move.
Give him a chance and let him come out of his shell which will happen once he relaxes

EinsteinaGogo · 28/05/2022 23:15

Bagpusssays · 28/05/2022 22:17

@toastedbagiel by tone I mean tone, ie the lexical, grammatical and semantic choices used by an author to communicate their point with regard to the affect it has on the reader. One widely understood idea is that by choosing words with care, the same essential argument can be communicated in ways which show, for example, respect, compassion, restraint and allow and invite discussion. It's a fascinating topic.

Why have you put this sarcastic response, OP?

It doesn't show you in a good light, tbh.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Dating General relationships
Original poster
Bagpusssays · 28/05/2022 23:15

Thanks @Yellowshirt . He has come out of his shell loads. When I liked him less I was quite good with this as I'm quite laidback and used to lots of personalities and quite good at that sort of thing.

However now I have become self conscious and the of anything the more shy one.

I just think next week I can swop one day, not see him and get a bit more on top of this crush. This week, whether it's the work stress not helping, but I feel it's become too important to me for what it is. And if he's equally in two minds (or entirely unbothered) then it might also be good for him to have space.

I think whether in my own head or between us it's now feeling a bit intense and having a break from seeing him would be good for my perspective. I can go into the office any days I want or don't want but he always goes in the same 2 days so I can just switch.

OP posts:
RiverSkater · 28/05/2022 23:34

Swap the days, maybe he will miss you and arrange that date.

Or you ask him out..,,

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