Can someone help me understand my 3yo? - not interested in tv and does't play his toys

[Return2thebasic]

I'm really puzzled and struggle to understand him (so as to support his development better). Nursery teachers have mentioned he's very bright from very early on. He was able to make a lot of remarkable comments since very little, and very observant.

But he doesn't like tv - at least that's how you can conclude if you turn on the tv. He claims he wants to watch a show if you mention it. But if you don't mention, he wouldn't ask for tv. Once the tv is on, he would watch for less than tv, then either started losing interest or claiming it's scary (all Cbeebies stuff). He might insist it stays on, but absolutely not watching it. I've tried different shows and none of them could appeal to him. It's not that I want him watch tv (I deliberately don't propose turning it on. Just occasionally, it would be handy if he could watch for half an hour or so while I do the chore.)

He also seems either not know how to play his toys or not interested. He used to be magnetic-tile crazy for 2 weeks when I first got a set. But then he was mostly building only a candle using the same pieces and wouldn't let go. He was happy to see me or his older brother build other things. But he didn't want to try by himself. Only once, he was alone in the lounge when I was in the kitchen. When I returned, he built this beautiful set of houses lining up. But that was only one off. Never happened again.

I thought might be not enough tiles to build bigger things. So I gave him another set as his birthday present when he turned 3. He has since only took them out, but only leaving them around without actually doing much apart from building a box.

I asked the teachers what he likes in the nursery. They didn't manage to indicate any particular interests. Only cars - which he likes but no way as "favourite or big fan"- and sand/water play - again I got a sand box just lately and he only played twice (really happy the first time) and never asking to play it again.

He's developmental normal. It's not that I'm concerned or something. Just it puzzles me profoundly - how to understand him and how to support him by the right kind of play. He likes to run with his big brother and play whatever he plays as long he's involved. But he always claims he's bored if he's alone.

Can someone help me understand him? I would love to know if anyone has a similar child and how they develop over years... Many thanks.

Oops just reread and seen someone has already said this.

This is another good piece of advice. I started doing this lately. I do think it was part of the reason, but not the whole picture. Just go the IKEA Trofast shelf and it swallowed lots of toys in a decent order. I will start rotating toys once his dad finishes the varnish!

:) It's a lovely way to see this. Thank you!

Thank you, everyone. I think I'm confidently armed with better understanding of how to approach the balance between plays and toys (and me/his brother as playmates).

Really appreciate every single piece of suggestion. 💐

Grandson is coming up for three the toys he loves are orchard toy games. They only take ten minutes to play but are good for practising turn taking and counting and developing strategy. Dgs knows how to win at dinosaur dominoes by checking my dominoes before placing his already.
Duplo, we build caves for his dinosaurs and trees and whatever else he's seen and thought about.
Jigsaws, he can complete 40 pieces now and will do them by himself but he likes me there to provide a commentary "oh no that doesn't fit, we need to look for Peppa's dress, oh wow good finding etc"
Arts and crafts, he loves a glue stick and sticking, his felt tips and painting and he loves chalking on the patio.
He likes doing what he calls "housework" so he sorts washing into piles depending on colour or sometimes according to where they are worn so we have top piles and bottom piles and he sorts trousers and socks from shirts and t shirts. He loves pairing socks so I save them all for him. He likes loading the washer and the dryer and "folding" clothes. He likes washing up and will stand ages at the sink washing my plastic cups and plates.
He loves baking so we do a lot of that.
Really what he wants is somebody playing with him, he can play for a short while by himself but he likes somebody to join in with him and show him how to refine and extend his play. I think you may need to do a lot more playing with him before he's able to play alone for any length of time

This! Play teddy tea parties with him, play disasters, play his soft toys fighting and making up, play "doctors" and let him give you medicine and injections, mix potions in the garden and do "spells". To some extent, I think you need to teach children to play and then it just comes to them naturally... they'll go to a playground and make "ice cream" out of sand and then sell it to you for money (stones). But I think there is a stage where you need to reinforce to them that the things around them can be used for all sorts of different purposes.

For example, what would your DS do if you put a large cardboard box in the middle of your living-room? At the risk of sounding a bit crazy, I often do this if we have friends round for my DC as the cardboard box usually takes up at least 15 minutes of the playdate and it is genuinely fascinating to see what they do with it.

Can you sit down and play with his toys yourself for a bit? Use the duplo to build a "town" or "island" where the people and animals can live and then make a little home for each of the animals. Or model to him how he can use his magnetic tiles to make a house for animals or a garage for his cars.

The hard fact to me is that it doesn't come to me naturally/instinctively too! But I'm a lot better now than with DS1. I CAN spontaneously pretend all sorts of things, silly or funny, with his toy figures. He was indeed amused to see each time. I now understand I DO need to model more, even when it requires a learning curve for myself. It would be well worth it. Thank you, @ChocolateHippo

So every day there are some occasions when I explain to him that I have to cook or do gardening or tidy up or this and that so he has to play alone.

Why not include him with all the things you need to do if he doesn't want to play alone? My 3 Yr old would much rather copy what I'm doing than play on her own. I do understand though it makes everything 10 times longer and harder

Not liking toys is something said about autistic children.

@Summer1912 🧐 that's rather generalised and ill informed. Said by who? It certainly isn't on any criteria for ASD assessments. My little boy is autistic and has loved toys his whole life. Autistic children are children too, some like toys some don't...

was it adhd