In need of some help.

[Emily920]

Me and my partner of 11 years have separated. 3 have a daughter who is 4 and she is our world. He is a great dad and a good man but unfortunately very brainwashed and severely controlled by his mother. He is not willing to change or put me anywhere near the top of his long priority list so we have decided to end.

I feel sick, I feel anxious and I’m so upset that he has chosen his mother over us. I feel guilty for my daughter that she will not longer have a family unit and I’m just constantly crying (when she’s not with me).

I'm fortunate enough that I’m financially stable and I can comfortably live on my own with my daughter but the dread of it being just me and her is scaring me. I’m scared of feeling lonely and even more so of her feeling lonely.

I already suffer with some form off separation anxiety with her and now I have to share her and it’s breaking my heart. I know I have to and I know it’s the right thing to do but i’m so upset and I didn’t have a child to be a part time mum.

I don’t even enjoy doing anything other than being with her, my whole life revolves around her and my partner. How do I make friends at 30?

please someone give me some hope!

What is his mother doing that spoils your life exactly?

She has always had severe control over my partner, up until we had our daughter my partner was always aware of it and we would talk and confide in each other. She is the same with her daughter. We didn’t get along because she couldn’t control me and she wasn’t the centre of my world.

over the years she has said some vile things and purposely tried to stir arguments between me and my partner. My partner adores his mum but It’s out of fear. She threatens him with her death and he always puts her first before anything because it’s much easier that way than her not being the centre of attention because that’s when she becomes really nasty.

he talks to his mum 6-10 times every single day and I find it quite rude given I haven’t spoken to her in 4 years. I have never got in the way of there relationship but at the same time, I’m jealous. I’m jealous that he has always given his attention to her. All I’ve ever asked for is for him today Taft considering us as is “family”.

we recently had relationship therapy and I think he realised that for us to work, he would have to make changes and he knows that it’s just not possible with him mum so he’s decided to end it with me.

i am heartbroken that I stood by this man whilst his mum was vile to him and me. He cried in my arms at night about how controlled he was and since my daughter has been born, it’s like he’s forgot about it all and resents me for it ending the way it did.