Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Child scared of neighbour

18 replies

purpleme12 · 27/05/2022 22:36

Where do I go to help my child feel safe in her home?
What would anyone do to help with this?
Neighbour been harassing us and her being a child lets her mind run away with her. What would someone do to help her with this?
To almost ignore them even though you can still hear them and see them?

OP posts:
Whowhatwherewhenwhynow · 27/05/2022 22:41

What is the neighbour actually doing?

Original poster
purpleme12 · 27/05/2022 22:45

Public order offence.
Egging property.
Ruining grass in garden.
Telling her to shut up.
Stomping/banging on walls to our house.
Other stuff too

OP posts:
Whowhatwherewhenwhynow · 27/05/2022 23:10

Oh that’s awful.
have you reported it to the police?

must be pretty hard to ignore someone shouting at you\banging walls etc.

Original poster
purpleme12 · 27/05/2022 23:13

Yes it's reported.
There's not so much shouting at us anymore.
It's just that she hears him still (she would do with them being next door) and she doesn't like hearing him because of everything that's happened.
But yes the banging on the wall/stomping can still happen.
Would I contact school or doctors to help with this? How would someone help her deal with feeling safe and not thinking about what they might do?

OP posts:
Whowhatwherewhenwhynow · 27/05/2022 23:24

I’m not sure what support a GP could offer unless you think the incident has triggered serious mental health issues. It’s understandable she feels scared given the history really.

we have a victim of crime support charity in our area offering advice and support. I wonder if there is one local to you. They might be able to point you in the direction for ideas about supporting children who feel unsafe.

could you speak to the local police and ask for their advice or ask for a local pcso to see you daughter. I know in our area there was a pcso who was engaging with the local children. Might help her feel she is being heard and taken seriously.

it will be worth talking to school. Maybe they have someone she can talk to or know if a local support service that might be appropriate.

I really feel for your daughter. I had an issue with a neighbour last year and even as an adult it unnerved me a lot. Must be so much harder for a child.

are you feeling safe now?

Original poster
purpleme12 · 27/05/2022 23:29

At the minute yes.
Yes I'm having behavioural issues and I am unsure if it's because of this or something else

OP posts:
Original poster
purpleme12 · 27/05/2022 23:29

At the minute yes.
Yes I'm having behavioural issues and I am unsure if it's because of this or something else

OP posts:
ChagSameachDoreen · 28/05/2022 07:16

Is this Hannah from the other thread?

MolliciousIntent · 28/05/2022 07:21

Unfortunately you're not going to be able to make your child feel safe unless the behaviour stops.

I speak from experience - as a little girl we had neighbours with severe mental health issues, they latched onto my dad as the reason one of their family had died (not at all true) and harassed us for months. The police were sympathetic but unhelpful, until the neighbour approached 4yr old me and told me my dad was a murderer. I asked dad what a murderer was. He went straight to the police and because a child had been directly involved and because there were obvious MH issues, they were able to get the neighbour sectioned and removed. Life got a lot better after that.

If you're not able to get the police to actually make a difference, you need to move house. Your daughter doesn't feel safe because she isn't safe and that's what you need to fix.

CaptainMyCaptain · 28/05/2022 07:29

The school can't do anything about the neighbour but you could make them aware in case your daughter says anything or her behaviour is affected. I think moving house could be your only option if the police can't /won't do anything.

Original poster
purpleme12 · 28/05/2022 08:39

ChagSameachDoreen · 28/05/2022 07:16

Is this Hannah from the other thread?

No it's not Hannah you must have got confused

OP posts:
Original poster
purpleme12 · 28/05/2022 08:41

Oh right.
I don't know what to do. I can't afford to move house

OP posts:
Maytodecember · 28/05/2022 08:47

Do they rent their house? If they do approach their landlord as they are very likely breaching their tenancy agreement.
If they own their home there’s less you can do but find as much support for your daughter as you can, via school, gp. Victim support?

LIZS · 28/05/2022 08:49

What does she think is going to happen? You need to help her rewrite her thoughts to give less negative outcomes. Is her behaviour triggering the ndn reaction? Does the school have a pastoral lead or wellbeing policy? Has mediation been suggested between you and ndn to reach a truce.

Original poster
purpleme12 · 28/05/2022 08:54

There's no way I'm mediating with them with how they are.
Yes recently her behaviour is making them react however that is just recent

She thinks he'll shout and swear again (this is something that has happened) and she has thoughts that he'll come in the house (this is not something that's happened) but her imagination runs away with her.

OP posts:
Original poster
purpleme12 · 28/05/2022 08:55

How do I help her rewrite her thoughts?

OP posts:
LIZS · 28/05/2022 09:04

So you acknowledge her fears but reassure her the shouting has reduced and he cannot enter your property. Is her room on the adjoining wall. Youdo need to get an external agency involved to intervene. Saying you won't engage is likely to put you in a negative light.

Original poster
purpleme12 · 28/05/2022 09:08

LIZS · 28/05/2022 09:04

So you acknowledge her fears but reassure her the shouting has reduced and he cannot enter your property. Is her room on the adjoining wall. Youdo need to get an external agency involved to intervene. Saying you won't engage is likely to put you in a negative light.

Well it's all been reported to the police already if that's what you mean.
I'm pretty sure if someone else was in my position you'd find very few people who would want to talk to these people. They have denied everything and you can't reason with them.
I've already reassured her it's reduced and he can't get into house.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread