Four friends with daughters hospitalised with anorexia. Is it becoming more common?

[ServantofthePeople]

A year ago I was horrified to to learn that a colleague’s daughter was in hospital with anorexia. I’ve tried to support him. Two local friends, whose daughters I’ve known since babyhood were then in-patients locally. Tonight we learnt that yet another friend’s daughter is in hospital. I’m not even shocked any more.

I had no idea the illness was so widespread. Has its prevalence increased? Or is in-patient care just more commonly offered now? I understand that rapid weight loss can make your heart beat strangely causing danger. Perhaps this was not understood in the past.

I just don’t remember anorexia being widespread when I was a teenager. Maybe we just didn’t talk about it?

*to

Anybody remember Karen Carpenter, the mega-popular singer from the ‘70s?

What a beautiful voice. What a tragic loss.

Sadly Anorexia/Bulimia is still very present.
Years ago, I loved in a hostel for young people where there were suffering and recovering Anorexics and Bulimics, and they were very competitive with each other.
It seems an insidious condition.
Almost like an addiction to heroin if that makes sense.

{That's how I saw it...the constant compulsion and obsession with it.}

No easy answers.

There is much less about it in the press these days, apart from poor Nikki Graeme, Bless her and her lovely Mum.

Edit :Lived not loved in a hostel for young people.

sadly there is very little support for ED out there. cahms ignored my dd and her pleas for help, which lead to massive self harm, suicide attempt and inpatient tier 4. The failure to intervene early and appropriately had a catastrophic impact on dd and my family. I asked her to be assessed for autism and I was ignored (now diagnosed), when dd was at her worst and consuming around 300 calories per day and 100ml of water, she was stuck in a ‘border’ war between different trusts and we got absolutely no support.

The lack of availability of appropriate treatment is only going make EDs escalate and create further long-term need down the line.

All this while Boris and co continue to party in No 10. He had the best of health care when he had covid and then continued ignore ‘the rules’. The ‘rules’ at the same time saw my suicidal child isolated in a small room for days in end unable to be let out, not eating, because of covid on the ward.

sorry for politicising the issue - my dd has so much to live for, she has now put on two stone and is a healthy body weight. But she is still not fully in school, and is no way near ‘recovered’.

Thank you @myrtleWilson

You and the other ladies on the ED threads were wonderful when the shit hit the fan. I’ve never felt so scared. Sadly whilst still terrified of relapse, I’m also really fucking sick of it all and sometimes can barely look or interact with her. Our relationship has suffered so much and I’m scared it will never repair. I’m 50 next week and she wants to make a fuss, but I just want to hide, because what’s the point of a party/meal/cake when she won’t do any of it?

Thats the reality of an ED. The whole family is affected. I sometimes wonder what life would have been like if I had continued in the darkness, left her to struggle alone, because whilst she was hiding it the rest of us were fine, and she was probably eating more. Maybe that’s the reality for her friends - it’s still disordered eating but they are ‘skinny and happy’ whilst she is healthy and sad.

Yes it is the same here op.

Of course there were EDs in the 90s and whatever (thanks to the Kate Moss days which really didn't help) but now there is an explosion of cases, a huge amount of seriously ill pre teen and teen children.

My friend works in an anorexic rehab clinic, and they are overwhelmed and having to send children to other parts of the country. I have lots of friends in this position, and it is heartbreaking. This is not just girls being abit thin and eating very little, we are talking about kids being withdrawn from school because they are too seriously ill to attend and being fed by a tube.

It must be the pandemic op, because I can't think of another reason why things are so bad. I hope your girls get the help they need

The parents' stories on this thread are heartbreaking.

Some of the things other people are posting are ED myths that aren't really reflective of research into anorexia. A lot of stereotypes about anorexia have been quite harmful in preventing some groups of people from seeking help / being believed - so it's important to try and discuss it in a way that isn't based on stereotypes, if possible.

Earring disorders and other mental Health disorders have increased hugely due to the pandemic

Eating not earring

Wow

@Innocenta which things are myths about ED? Genuine question as I want to learn more about AN.

‘TrifleFunny · Today 08:35
concernedreracistelement
I am an ‘80s child - perhaps we were more private then?
Wow“

?

Thanks for these fascinating though pretty upsetting posts.

seems like there is a real need to talk about this stuff (appreciate there are already support threads but I wouldn’t post on there as this is more about concern/curiosity I am not personally affected).

a poster upthread said early intervention is key: what does that look like? Or is it controversial causing more problems

Actually having said I’m not personally affected… I’ve just remembered that about a year ago my oldest son brackets the one who’s just been in hospital but that was nothing to do with eating disorders) had some different health problems that were making him anxious because they affected his relationships with his peers. At one point he was so frustrated by his inability to do his usual exercise/sport that he started looking on social media for other things he could do to control his body (that was his phrase). Remember him coming to see me in the garden saying that he was considering fasting because it been reading about it on a social media channel. I told him to not even fucking think about it and pointed out that whilst he had a variety of frustrating conditions one of the things he could still do (even during the lockdown) was enjoy Family meals. That was the end of it – but now I can see that if his concerns had been about body image/weight things could’ve been very different.

The posts above about how culturally dependent all this is are absolutely fascinating. But whilst one of the five families I know of has indeed been in terrible crisis I am really very sure that at least three of the other families have not. I blame pandemic and social media.

Also think girls skipping breakfast and having a light lunch is not the same as being hospitalised and being fed with a tube at 12 years old.

I went through periods/years of not eating (or eating just enough to stay out of hospital) My weight always started with a 7 and sometimes slipped under, however hospitalisation is a whole different ballgame and is really really serious when it happens to your child. This is the kind of anorexia that is happening to more and more children and it is very worrying. It is not about it being more private, because who can cover up being admitted into hospital nor about a lack of labels compared to the past. The children we are seeing look like skeletons even in the 70s this would not be missed or ignored.

I am devastated for the families going through this, it is such a deeply frightening place to be.

went to private school for half my school life and a comprehensive for the other half. the private school had way more anorexic cases. It was pretty common to see very skinny girls from about yr 8/9 and multiple girls were hospitalised with it
It was not an issue at the (much larger) state school.

Anorexia is a mental health condition.

It is treated in a variety of ways, counselling, psychotherapy, anti depressants, art and movement therapy, meditation and anxiety, support nurses and doctors both coming to the home of the patient or as an in patient. There are residential clinics and hospitals - and support groups where you are helped to get better. Not everyone is the same, some children also self harm, have GAD or other problems. So an individual plan is set up - but you do need to be extremely ill in the first place to get any care whatsoever, and that care usually only comes when it is already so advanced and serious as to require hospital treatment.