Baby just won't sleep end of my tether

[postpartumisnotfun]

Feel like I'm starting crash 7 weeks with about 4 hours broken sleep a night. He just cries all the time and wants be in my arms I can't put him down. He will sleep for 10 minutes then be awake for hours im exhausted.

DH is doing all the school runs and looking after the kids so I let him sleep. I still help get them dressed in the morning and do dinner on the evening so I don't know why I'm not coping.

None of my other DC's were like this I feel like running away in the night and never coming back.

I don't know what to do DH will hold him for 20 mins but always wants to hand him back because he can't cope with the crying. I don't want to give him to my mum or MIL and burden them with him.

Apologies if this post is all over the place I'm hanging on by a thread

Is he breast or bottle fed,.my last was breast and my milk was unsettling him

Could be CMPA (cows milk protein allergy), silent reflux and/or a combination of both. Have you spoken to GP?

I stopped breastfeeding at 3 weeks he's on formula now. I've even put him on lactose free milk he's much better on this. But still just unhappy unless he is in my arms being rocked. No not been to GP yet.

If your DM or DMIL have offered, do take them up on it. I used to walk with my DGD in a sling, which sometimes calmed her and meant my DD could catch up on some sleep. I was honestly happier dealing with an unsettled baby than worrying about my DD.

Can you co-sleep?

This is what saved me. I couldn't cope with sleep deprivation. I put her in bed just me and her, all safely.

This is normal in most countries across the globe. It's normal for mammals to sleep with their young.

You’re not coping because you’re not sleeping. Do see the GP to rule out anything medical but you need to start doing proper shifts with DH overnight to allow you to get a decent chunk of sleep. And if you have your mum/MIL ask them for help. Even if it’s just take the baby out for a walk for an hour so you can nap, take whatever help there is. But really your DH needs to step up here.

OP definitely go to GP. Ask firstly for something for silent reflux eg omeprazole - if baby is happier being held up I'd want to rule this out first.

Secondly if there is suspected CMPA you'll need hydrolysed milk from the GP as a first step, and potentially amino acid based milk (completely dairy free). Lactose is completely different from milk protein - lactose is the sugars that are in the milk. It is actually very rare to be allergic to lactose, and it's usually a temporary issue following eg a viral infection.

Mine was like this. Thankfully he was my first, I’m not sure how I would have coped with more DC - i’m not surprised you are at your wits end. I echo PPs. Your DH needs to help overnight or you see if DM/DMiL can help overnight, or do significant chunks during the day so you can sleep. The fact you are FF makes this a lot more possible.

By all means rule in or out reflux, allergies etc. Thats really important. But don’t be disheartened if nothing seems to make a difference. My DS was all in all a very tricky baby, but he did grow out of it and is now a very easy going, bright toddler who loves his own cot (he slept either on my chest or in my arms for most of the first 6 months and screamed if I dared put him down). Wanting to be held all the time is often completely normal (albeit really hard) and doesn’t mean there is a medical issue. Some babies just cry a lot more than others as well. Weeks 5-9 were particularly dreadful for us - it felt like he just cried, fussed over feeds and didn’t sleep all day. But it did get gradually better. I hope it gets better for you too x

My DS was like this, we gave him a dummy and it was an absolute life saver. He had colic rather than anything medical though like reflux etc, so it’s important to consider other possibilities. Don’t be afraid to reach out for support e.g from health visitor.

Bless your heart, I know how tough it is ❤️ I was reading in “ICON” leaflet from the hospital that between weeks 6-8 crying can peak and then it gradually starts to tail off. iconcope.org/parentsadvice/

My second was the same and wouldn't stop crying. I ended up putting her in a papoose and just carrying her around all day just to keep her quiet - she seemed to want to be next to me all the time. This was many years ago so not sure if advice has changed re. use of papooses. Just for reassurance though - she did settle down and sleep through the night fairly quickly but was still clingy during the day. I went back to work after 4 months though and then it was the creche's problem!!

My 3rd was like this, was silent reflux.

Nearly broke me

I'm going to call the GP tomorrow then if we can even get in.

I've told DH he needs to stop wandering of on the phone all the time leaving me with a screaming baby and DC's fighting. But he seems to think I'm controlling him and he should be able to talk to his family as and when he needs to!

@RandomMess he is my third 😩 the other two were a breeze.

With 3 are you managing to get naps in during the day and not trying to be superwomen rushing to do stuff whilst he’s asleep? Fess up…🙂

Same suggestions as others have said: check reflux and milk allergies, colic (cranial massage?), co-sleep, sling during the day, teats on bottles if he’s windy?

good luck 🤞

I had a 4th partly to erode the trauma of my third!

I returned to work early to have a break. She slept 6 hours out of 24 I think she just passed out tbh.

OP I really know how you feel - our first was like this and looking back I feel terribly guilt now as I thought it was normal and I am sure it was her allergies which I only realised when she was older - she literally didn’t sleep properly until she was 5 YEARS old !!

So definitely do look into everything suggested here, if only I had as I suspect ours had a sore tummy a lot of the time and also made her nervous of food so she’s been fussy as she got older as I didn’t know. Our other two have been totally fine too.
(Dd has dairy and wheat intolerance in turned out; as a baby she used to projectile vomit and also was sick a lot and had awful nappy rash. And never ever slept well. It was so tough )

I really hope it improves soon and that you find the solution as it’ll be really worth it x

Try swaddling him and download a baby white noise app, have it loud to begin with, quite close to him, it needs to be louder than his crying, then as he settles turn it down incrementally.

Solidarity 💐 My second child was like this and it was silent reflux. Time to call in ALL reinforcements you have family/friends nearby who can help out a bit so you can catch up on some sleep. My DH would cover evening times so that I could go to bed at 8pm, then I would take over in the middle of the night. We would keep DS upright for at least 30 mins after bottle, had the cot tilted at an angle so he wasn't lying completely flat, carried him in the sling (used the babybjorn... doesn't have a great rep on here but for ease of popping baby in and out quickly it was great!!), used newborn insert for pushchair so that I could tilt him at an angle. The thing that helped us most was ranitidine but unfortunately they don't prescribe it for babies anymore.

And yes yes yes to co-sleeping if it helps!

Co-sleep! After a nightmare few weeks with baby DD, I started co-sleeping, and haven't had a bad night's sleep for nearly two years.

Another vote for co sleeping, I know it's not for everyone but I'd be inclined to do it and sleep train later. Have you tried putting him at an angle on a sleep wedge? Swaddling saved me with my second who didn't sleep properly at all, she's 4 next week and has now started doing her nights 😴My heart goes out to you, I know how relentless it can be.

We co slept this morning 6-9 and I had a lovely sleep. I did co sleep with my first as I was a single mum but OH doesn't mind sleeping on the sofa so will carry on with that now.

He just seems like a super sensitive baby, hates being overly touched. Despises loud noises and just wants to be close he hates going in the car as well.

I don't even want to go out the house anymore so much easier just to stay in with him.

My youngest was like this, always crying, barely slept - turned out she had CMPA, reflux and a tongue tie. I was a sleep deprived mess for the first few months.

I used a sling a lot which did help during the day as it kept them close and upright.

Worth a trip to the GP I think, OP. And see if you can get someone to take baby for a few hours so you can catch up on some sleep.

My dc was like this, we found out he later he had multiple food allergies, so he was in pain every time he was fed.
I also co slept with him, he slept through the night, he wasn't fed much during the night, so no pain during the night.