What makes a home lovely?

[Reinventingat40]

Having a family party in our relatively new home next week.. I want the house to look fab, have been cleaning non stop but now it's time for the finishing touches! In your opinion what makes a home lovely & gives a nice cosy warm feeling! Doesn't have to be anything major even little tips like caring for skirtings, dirty paint etc would be appreciated..

Honestly nobody cares - at least if they’re good friends! I’ve never gone to my friends’ places and thought ‘big light, no books visibly displayed, no art work? What a shit house.’

As long as there’s plenty to eat and we can have a chat then I’ll have a good time. These people are my friends - if I’m dragging my butt out of my pyjamas and going to their house then I already like them, they don’t need to impress me with their house.

Clean, uncluttered and well aired are the most important.

Create focal points with big vases of flowers or house plants, sculpture or paintings or photos, not randomly dotted all over the house but grouped together.

Good lighting - lamps, lanterns and candles beat overhead lighting.

Inviting seating areas. I put blankets and cushions on a garden swing and DCs friends always congregate around it when they come over. Same indoors - a log fire on a cold day with seating grouped around it, or sofa and chairs grouped around a big coffee table so people have somewhere to put their drinks down

Fresh scented - not plug-ins or sickly candles but maybe some subtle essential oils or scented sticks as long as they're not overpowering.

In the kitchen, have glasses out already with big jugs of iced water maybe scented with lime or lemon slices, mint or cucumber, so people can help themselves if thirsty. Plenty of soft drinks so people can pace themselves.

If children are coming I always set out a very low table with some safe snacks and craft stuff and toys for them to play with, so grown ups get a bit of time off.

I love this, thank you!

Sorry that was to @Kanaloa

😂

Really do not worry about overhead lighting, nobody else will notice or care! If it’s clean and you’re providing enough food for people to stuff themselves it’s a nice time.

@Swimmingpoolsally yes the reed diffusers.

Nice matching liquid soap and hand cream together with some fluffy small guest towels in the bathroom. In today's world, probably some nice hand sanitiser as well. You could go the extra mile and put some hairspray, tissues, cotton balls etc in a nice basket as well.

A clear bar area with plenty of shiny glasses and plenty of ice. As a minimum beer, wine, water and soft drinks, depending on your budget.

Candles and twinkly lights.

And most of all, a big smile and a warm spoken welcome to everyone who enters your home. 😊

House plants and fresh flowers are all that make a nice home to me.

Some of these are unbelievable. The smell of bleach, provide free hairspray and cotton balls, (wtf do you need cotton balls when visiting someone’s house for a couple of hours or so, if you weirdly need cotton balls bring your own.) trays of flannels in the loo?

its a small party at her home, not a hotel. I’ve never heard the like. Who lives like this?

Things that convey your personalities and what you and your family are interested in. That might mean photos or stuff that relate to your hobbies and interests. The homes I enjoy visiting most, ignoring how much I like the hosts, always give a glimpse into what all the occupants are truly interested in and care about.

Not clutter but a home with stuff in

I went to a gathering in a house that felt like a show home and it was a bit weird, felt like we were in a play or something. I like cushions and clocks and pictures on walls and maybe ornaments and things that make it seem like people live there.

I personally get my kids little waistcoats and have them stand outside the bathroom door to dry your hands and offer you a polo mint. That’s why I had four kids. One on bathroom duty, one to hand out complimentary champagne, one to act as a greeter at the door, and my eldest does the valet service.

But really I agree. If you like someone enough to go to their house all this stuff is so unnecessary. Hiding the TV (which I still can’t believe) providing toiletries, worrying about lighting and blankets etc. If the house is clean and the welcome is good then does anyone really care about any of the rest?

I nominate this for classics @mumsnet.It's MN at its finest.

Right? The op asks,,,”In your opinion what makes a home lovely & gives a nice cosy warm feel”.

answers, free cotton wool balls and hairspray, the smell of bleach, and oh can you lay out some interesting reading material, (I assume in case the parties dull you can read your guests books in the short time you’re there) ,,,multiple flannels in the bathroom, a sticky on thing in your cistern, cucumber scented water, and can you hide your tv please.

It’s like some form of parallel universe I’ve never visited. 😂😂😂

I am enjoying reading these and imagining all your lovely homes. I have two young children so unfortunately the zen is ruined by the occasional turd floating in the toilet, the jumperoo and the giant plastic boxes of toys. You're lucky when you sit on my sofa if you don't get a smear of Ella's kitchen chick-chick-chicken casserole on your jumper and a hot wheels up your arse.

I had a friend whose parents did exactly that. When they had a party each of the four children had a job - pretty much the ones you've listed!

You could go the extra mile and put some hairspray, tissues, cotton balls etc in a nice basket as well

Don't be daft, why the hell would people need hairspray and cotton balls at a party?
OP I think as long as your home is clean and tidy and reflects your personalities then that's enough.

And baskets of free hairspray and cotton balls don’t even say “lovely” to me, they say “the loos at the Drink nightclub in Guildford where Cheryl punched the attendant”.

It’s funny, the house I always feel the most welcome and at-home in doesn't have a lock on the bathroom door – and the bathroom has steps inside so you couldn’t even dive off the loo and shut the door if interrupted, you’d break an ankle – and no bin as the owner is a mooncup not a tampon girl. It’s definitely not a decluttered, bleach-scented, thought-through house but it’s entirely welcoming: it embodies the spirit of “here’s a large glass of something, make your yourself at home, what would you like to eat?” Whereas my MIL’s house ticks many of the suggested boxes – pristine loo with liquid soap and sparkling clean, wiped down sink; decluttered sitting room with neatly styled ottoman with a tray on it with an orchid and a stack of magazines. But you daren’t sit down til invited, drinks are never on offer, and conversation stalls.

Forget the bleach and window cleaning, OP: it’s about the open bottle, quantity of sausage rolls, and je ne sais quoi.

trays of flannels in the loo?

because there’s nothing worse than being at a party and being the 15th person to dry their hands on a now slightly soggy hand towel.

Flannels are an easy alternative. Most people I know seem to have adopted this post covid.

Being able to keep my shoes on and use the house as a guest without feeling like I'm treading on or sitting on the hosts personal feelings.

I being able to relax.