NC family member getting TA job in DC class

[PrettyPinkBonnet]

We went NC with my MIL which was entirely my DH’s decision about three years ago. There is a whole string of abusive, controlling behaviour that lead to this. She said she would find a way to be a central figure in our DC’s lives whether we liked it or not.

We’ve found out this morning that she has been given the TA job in the class one of our DC will be in next year (very small village school, 30 children per year group so only one class in a year).

She is a qualified TA although had retired.

There is nothing we can do is there? The school is aware she is the grandparent of a student, but not that we are NC.

I would tell the school everything and I would not rule out moving school.

Or your husband could contact her and tell her that he knows what she's doing but it won't work because you are moving your son to another school!

If she withdraws from the job then you'll know why she really applied and so will the school.

You have to tell the school.

I'd contact the HT & make them fully aware of the N/C & why & her 'threat/promise' to find a way to be a central figure in the DC's life.

They could, at the very least, swap TA's around if they can't fecund her offer.

if they don't do anything, then I'd look at changing schools/homeschooling/something.

evil cow.

Fecund was recind

why do phones even do that.

I would tell the school and be totally reasonable about the fact that she’s an experienced TA and will be an asset to their school but you’d like her to be in a different class.

even without her abusive behaviour it seems a stupid idea for them to put a child’s grandparent in their class. Either the child will be upset that granny is spending all day with other children, or she will favour her grandchildren and the rest of the class miss out. TA is a demanding job, both physically and mentally very hard work, if she’s doing it to get to spend time with your DC she’ll be pissed off when she realises that it doesn’t work out that way.

Inform the school. Tell them this is a person who is not supposed to be having contact with your DC because of abusive behaviour. They will need to investigate and may be able to sack her because she’s lied (by omission) about her grandchild being in the class. Last resort you could get a restraining order so she can’t come near your DC?

I agree, tell the school immediately and explain everything. If you still have messages I would show them.

DP is a teacher and isn't allowed to teach his own children. There may be different rules in a tiny village school but it's worth asking if she can be in a different class and explaining your reasons. The school may already be unhappy with the idea and a nudge from you will be enough to make changes.