New colleague spelling my name wrong

[ChairOfInvisibleStudies]

A new member of staff joined a couple of weeks ago and so far I think he's spelled my name at least three different, incorrect ways. It wouldn't irk me too much, except we're interacting exclusively via Teams so my name is literally written there in front of him when he's typing. He doesn't seem to have a problem with anyone else's name or spelling issues in general. Would it be too petty to mention it...?

I wouldn't bother mentioning it personally because it wouldn't affect me

I get this all the time. V unusual first and last names. I’d correct pronunciation if that’s a thing but if it’s a Rebecca, Rebekah, Rebeca thing I’d tell them in writing. I have also called it out in teams by correcting them and saying ‘ I know you’re Dave and I’d never call you Gideon! Just asking for the same respect’ then move on.

I'd tell him

I think that is the height of rudeness. I would correct him every time.

I'd tell him. It's right there on the screen.

Just tell him he got your name wrong.....again.

It's exactly a Rebecca/Rebekah/Rebeca thing! And it does feel a bit disrespectful and personal given that I'm the only person he seems to do it to - like I don't merit his consideration. I was holding back because I don't want to start off on the wrong foot blah blah, but actually he's kind of starting off on the wrong foot with me.

I've corrected people, in writing and at the time. It's annoying people don't actually take the trouble to read how a person's name name is spelt, especially when it's there actually in writing on the email, etc they are responding to.. 🌹

He is either very stupid or trying to make you feel less important. Don’t put up with it.

Or he might have dyslexia. Contact him privately and point it out sensitively.

Fair enough - you are right, start with that.

I've got a name which has quite a few spellings plus a name which looks very similar but has a different ending.

Personally I don't mind if people spell my name wrongly but hate if they say the other name especially if they then say it's the same thing or it doesn't matter.

My name has several varieties of spelling, I can’t get to bothered by miss spelling but if it bothers you I would maybe mention it in private if he is not taking notice of it on teams/ emails

After years of saying "I'm not Rebekah, I'm Rebecca" from one person, I emailed Sara in place of Sarah. It never happened again.

Also, if there are a few of you with variations on that name or he knows others well it may be confusing. I work closely with three people with slightly different forms of names - like Sara, Sera, Sarah. If in a hurry Ive sometimes typed the wrong thing.

If this is the only way he seems disrespectful I'd not assume he meant anything. Teams needs a level of multitasking we aren't designed for and people process light and text very differently. I really wouldn't call a new employee out on it. Private message if it really bothers you.

I definitely wouldn't do it in front of other people, but was thinking the next time he gets it wrong in a one to one situation I would reply to whatever he's saying then add 'it's "Rebekah" by the way'. Can't really see how much more sensitive it's possible to be.

That sounds good.

it bothers me partly because when Black Lives Matter exploded and I attended a number of workshops where black colleagues explained the kind of small daily events that made them feel lesser at work. People repeatedly spelling their (often long and unusual) names wrong was mentioned many times and hurt every time.

i don’t see why it is any different in this case. (Unless a specific issue like dyslexia of course).

Dyslexia isn't an excuse, he could copy and paste her name if he struggles with it. I've done that before on long complicated names so I don't get them wrong. Plus he gets everyone else's names right, just not hers. Are you the only woman by any chance op? More likely sexism than disability.

My name isn’t spelled in a typical way think Sara/Sarah Rachel/Rachael and people always get it wrong.

I’m passed caring tbh I’d never correct someone on it.

I think it’d look really petty to pull anyone up on it and I’ve never bothered, I don’t think anyone does it out of spite, I just accept my spelling is more unusual.

I’m in the exact same position and I would never in my life do this, people always misspell my name and I just shrug it off, I think if you have a name with multiple spellings it’s just life.

This annoys me when people spell my son's name wrong. It's only a 3 letter name but it's amazing how many people get the last two letters the wrong way round. It then says a completely different name!

I'm guilty of it myself in the past though.
At school I had a Kathryn, Katherine and Catherine in my class and I did have to think about which spelling went with which girl when writing out Christmas cards.

Personally I wouldn't bother to correct him but then it's something that I would just laugh about. Or I would probably bring it up in a jokey way. But then I've got no balls so don't listen to me!

There is a woman in work that emails me most days so she definitely knows my name, but when she comes over she calls me "Rebecca", which is nothing like my name. I've never bothered to correct her - she either thinks I'm called Rebecca for whatever reason, or she's being a bit of a twat. I laugh about it with my colleagues once she's gone.

Or he has always known this particular name spelled the alternative way and isn’t used to it?

Honestly I think you’re jumping to massive conclusions here to try and find offence where there probably isn’t any.

He’s new in the team and learning a new job, I’m sure he just has a lot on his mind and I doubt finding micro ways of purposefully annoying his new colleagues isn’t high on his to do list.

If he's messaging you on Teams and starts off "Hi Rebecca" when it should be Rebekah, then comment straight away "Hi Dave. Before we engage in conversation can I just draw your attention to my name above (or wherever it appears on the Teams window), and the correct spelling? Thanks 🙂. Now, how can I help you?"