What do you think is more important... extras or holidays?

[herecomesyour19thnervousbreakdown]

Just looking at the "enrichment" stuff we pay for for the kids (we have 4 which makes our life super expensive atm)

We aren't going away this year and am looking as to how we can in 2023
I didn't go on many holidays when I was a kid and regret it as an adult

Do you think it's worth ditching the weekly stuff for a fab (self catering villa, not all inclusive type) two weeks in the summer?

Can you do half and half??

So maybe lose 1 thing per kid then go for a cheaper holiday?

I think it's the time 'away' from the house / normal routines / being together that is the memorable bit so you might be able to holiday eg on a holiday park in the UK for less??

Depends how much they enjoy the weekly stuff? Could you have a cheaper holiday? My 2 do loads of weekly activities and would really miss them and the friends they have made through them.. However we also manage to do a cheap (uk) based holiday every year so not exactly your query. I would keep the weekly activities personally. Maybe reduce them if they want

No. I like a holiday but I don't understand prioritising it ahead of everything else. Everyday life needs to be good and if it's not change it don't spend all year waiting for your 2 week "escape".

In the last 21 years, since DS1 was born, we've had 5 foreign holidays. We have usually got away for a week in UK and those memories are precious too. I don't feel anyone's missed out.

I find it’s easier if you have a goal
in mind.

we did a lot of small things, less sweets and treats, reducing electricity bills, not buy things in the sales - only things we needed, plenty of free fun stuff.

It’s doable - you just need to focus on the end goal.

I think it depends what you include in the 'enrichment' heading you use. Losing all weekly activities/weekend fun? No. Losing one of three week activities? Maybe.

But generally I'm more for 'enjoying everyday life' rather than 'spending all year waiting for that one time when eeeeverything has to be lovely and everyone must be happy' etc. Life is much more than a short holiday, and in my mind, having a good everyday life is more important, since there's more of it. (But I have a few friends who seem to live for their holidays: a lot of their spare time is spent thinking about/researching/planning holidays - to me that seems a bit sad, as if 'normal life' isn't worth much.)

Isn't there a middle way? Does it have to be two weeks in a villa - any cheaper option that would still be fun and enjoyable?

I'd also consider how the siblings get along and their ages. For siblings who get along/for those siblings who have a 'good friend' among the other siblings a family holiday might be great. For siblings who don't as much, or who don't have anyone at a similar age, it might not be as great to have to give up weekly fun things with friends to have more spare time to argue/be nagged by siblings.

I wouldn't. What if you have awful weather? Or food poisoning? Or hate the place you go to? It'd be pretty devastating to have missed out on all activities to spend on a fortnight that's ruined.

What about one activities per child and a Eurocamp holiday? Or city break in air b n b?

I think it depends on how old the kids are (what would they prefer to have?), how 'important' the enrichment stuff is (Grade 6 piano vs. Baby Gymnastics), how many they currently do (I think 1 per child is plenty).

Sometimes short breaks are better than a 2 week self catering, or going at cheaper times of year. For example, I was looking at Spain in first week of Easter hols for Airbnb and flights and was very cheap for a week. Or long weekends in UK 'randomly' (eg. Using Inset day).

Another who doesn't think it is either /or.

It will depend on how many / how expensive the hobbies are.
Plus, of course, you don't need to go abroad for two weeks to have a holiday.

Maybe you need to look more at the budget you have and what you can afford for that.
For example, going to Scouts each week, or playing for your local football team is going to cost a LOT less than owning a horse and all that entails.

not necessarily holidays but I think days out are more important because those are experiences that are generally remembered and improve wellbeing by getting out. Also depends what you mean by extras because if its the equivalent of not being able to have jam on toast for example that's pretty miserable

Depends what the activities are - sports I would keep unless they're doing a ridiculous amount. IMO quality of life for 50 weeks of the year is more important than two great weeks and scrimping the rest of the time.

My sister and I always prioritise extra curricular /holidays/trips above everything else. We don't wear branded clothes, swap outfits, car share, use local food projects as much as possible. We save every penny we can for bargain holidays. Typically spend around £750 per person per year for all day trips, after school and holidays. We have an amazing community art place by us that does free school holiday clubs and weekend sessions that are £2 each plus £3 a tub of paint. Our kids share the colours. Our kids do a group music lesson that is £30 for all 3 of them for 1/2 hour. We taught them to swim on holidays.

We are off to Rome next week , paid £115 each all in for a gorgeous human travel site and flights.

Just had 4 nights in a haven in late April for £20 each (£160 for 8 people) with passes. Took our own food. Split the penny jar for arcades.

Off to Greece for two weeks in august which was booked as soon as the flights were released. That's costing us £196 each for a self catering apartment for two weeks. There are LOADS of cheap bookings out there if you do it yourself, early, and not through a a travel group. Next year got Iceland and Kos planned. I am very concerned for the rising fuel costs though, as I'm still on a deal until august so going to have a heart attack when that readjusts too full price.

I also would try and do both but adjust expectations a bit. We went on holiday every year when I was growing up and I loved it, but we went camping in France, Scotland or the Lakes or did gîte holidays in France. We also went with another family to split accommodation costs so that could be an idea. But I think a balance is important so extra-curricular plus days out (& maybe a long weekend in air bnb) might be better than no extras but a fortnight’s holiday.

How much stuff do they do?

I would limit to one activity per child unless it is a school club where is it likely to be free or something nominal like £2-5 a term.

Then save for a holiday.

If you stop the activities for the year in favour of the once in the year holiday, you’ll put a huge pressure in everyone to make it amazing - including yourself.

And because it won’t be perfect (because it can’t be absolutely perfect), you are setting yourself up to disappointment.

That's a really good point.

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