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Creep in Lidl

10 replies

Thejoyfulstar · 25/05/2022 17:43

I'm not putting this in AIBU, because my feelings are my feelings. I just want to chat about what just happened when I went to Lidl just now. I live in mainland Europe and popped in to our local branch to get a few things. The security guard was very 'present', marching around. Early 60s maybe. I felt like he was watching me a few times but reminded myself he was just doing his job.

At a certain point, I left my trolley in an aisle so I could quickly run to the other side of the shop to pick up some sweetcorn, as I had forgotten it. I couldn't see any, so went back to my trolley. Over came Mr Security, asking if I needed help. I told him I was looking for sweetcorn, and he made this big show if trying to find it, asking his colleagues where it was and bringing me around the shop to see if it was on different aisles. At that point I felt guilty for having been annoyed with him when he was just a kind man doing his job.

He could tell I'm not local and asked was I Ukrainian. I said no and told him my nationality and then he asked was I married. I instantly felt disappointed, like 'Ah I see. He was just a creep, not a kindly older man. Silly me'. I said yes and he replied something along the lines of 'thats annoying' (literal translation: 'I'm angry'). I said thanks for your help and walked off.

As I was putting my groceries on the belt, the male sales assistant on the til was smirking at someone behind me. I knew it was about me and that he was smirking at the security guard. I turned around and I was right. I paid for my things and left. I didn't say anything. What could I have said? I felt too self conscious.

Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Just annoying. Someone asked if I was married: hardly sexual assault of the century and nothing to lose sleep over. However it irked me because it changed the tone of the conversation. At first I thought he was a kindly older gentleman and then realised he wasn't looking at me in a fatherly way. I don't know why it annoyed me. I'm not being a 'snowflake' but it struck me that it made me uncomfortable and I cant really pinpoint why exactly.

My husband said its totally inappropriate and I should complain. I don't see the point. Nobody will care but I'm sure I'm not the only woman who would feel a bit...sigh...at this.

Anyone?

Not trying to turn this into a big deal. I'll forget about it. Its just a bit yuck.

OP posts:
CherrySocks · 25/05/2022 17:46

He should have been doing his job professionally and not looking for attractive single women whilst at work.

cigarettesNalcohol · 25/05/2022 17:49

Yeah it's gross and inappropriate

DogsAndGin · 25/05/2022 17:55

Yes make a complaint for sure. I firmly believe that we all must report the ‘little’ creepy things that men do. Then, when they rape someone, and their employment/police records are looked at for evidence of their character, it’s much more believable that he has done what he has been accused of. Maybe then the courts can stop pretending that all men have an ‘unblemished record’ and it is ‘completely out of character’ and the ‘woman is making up her accusations’

MushMonster · 25/05/2022 17:57

Weird! I 100% know how you feel.

Thejoyfulstar · 25/05/2022 18:10

Today was one of the very few times I'd left my baby at home. I felt that being without my children sort of changed my 'profile' and that annoyed me too, and I can't quite put my finger on why!

Plus, me being married isn't the reason I wasn't going to get with him! I felt strangely annoyed that he thought that this detail was the only barrier to some kind of romance between us.

Bleurgh!!!

OP posts:
CaperCaper · 25/05/2022 18:12

I would complain by way of a letter to the store to let them know that your time was taken up by this man and you didn't appreciate it, you didn't need the assistance he offered and you don't know why he had to be concerned with whether you were married. There might be a pattern of behaviour building up here where he is bothering lone women shopping. If people don't complain it won't be picked up. From the employers point of view, he should be doing his job not chatting up the customers.

FinanceLPlates · 25/05/2022 18:24

Urgh. Also this asking if you were Ukrainian. Was he hoping to find someone vulnerable he could hit on?

EmmaH2022 · 25/05/2022 18:28

I completely understand why this is infuriating. Like, jeez, can't we do the most ordinary things in peace!

BiscuitLover3678 · 25/05/2022 18:30

I hate the fact that having a male partner is the only reason to stop a man persuing you. I’d definitely complain.

Thejoyfulstar · 25/05/2022 18:54

I remember in my 20s being in a nightclub and some bloke kicked me (deliberately) on my bottom. I think he was trying to be 'playful' but I immediately told a bouncer, who thought it was hilarious.

A few years later I was standing outside a Lidl in the UK and a group of men walked past and one of them smacked me on the bottom. A Lidl security guard saw what happened. I was upset and shaken, but he just looked away when I asked him had he seen. He had but turned a blind eye.

Got smacked on the bottom on a night out some years after that. I turned around and confronted the old man who did it. I told him he didn't get to touch me. He laughed in my face. It was so humiliating.

Through the years I've learned that there's no point in complaining, in asking for help or pointing out that these things are wrong.

I'm sure many of you have identical stories.

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