Friend psycho analysis needed

[ConfusedElephant]

Just your thoughts - help me understand this situation please ...

I've been friends with a woman since uni, she's a year older - so friends from 18/19 to 34/35.

She invited me to her hen-do which was last month - I went to that.

She's getting married this month.

The issue - she never told me she was dating someone let alone getting married until the invite to the hen-do.

I went on holiday with this woman most years - last time being just before the pandemic.

I'm confused, how can she class me as a friend?

Plus, I feel so stupid openly talking about my 2 failed relationships during this while time from uni to now.

I just don't understand people like this - any insight? Thanks

What's your friendship been like? Did you spend your meet ups just talking about your self or ask her about her and her love life?

How long has she been with this guy?

How did you react to her when you got the invite?

Meet ups were mostly holidays, days out etc.
So talking was normally about what was on hand etc

My 2 relationships were boring nothing to talk about as such so definitely didn't bore her with them

Romantic conversations were mostly her talking about her ex and how their relationship ended etc - that relationship ended whilst at uni and her fancying a married man at work

She invited me to dinner and told me she was getting married and hoped I wasn't angry at her for not telling me - I was genuinely happy for her and the fact that she hadn't told me didn't really sink in until I went to the hen-do and realised her work mates knew beforehand

The other strange thing she invited me to dinner with her future husband's female relatives but didn't invite the friends that knew about her courting phase

I can't go to the wedding anyway as it clashes with a relatives.

It's a bit odd not telling you but she's acknowledged that so it wasn't really offhanded.

Is it the married guy from work (as was) that shes now marrying? Could she have kept quiet as it was messy? Do you think you might have advised her to stay away so she's presented it fait accompli? Maybe it was going on longer.

Could it be a whirlwind romance and she was worried you might to try to talk her out of marrying a man she has only know a few months?

Not the married man from work - he was not from a suitable race as per her family's expectations so that was never going to happen.

This guy, her parents would not object to.

I'm just puzzled she invited me to the family dinner but didn't bother to tell me and they ones she did tell weren't invited to the dinner.

The friendship now seems fake but I can't work out the motive.
Why invite me at all?

Maybe she just preferred to get on with the relationship privately. Sometimes I'll be more inclined to share private information with more superficial friends since I know they won't try to interfere. Close friends on the other hand, have a tendency to speak more frankly and offer advice I don't necessarily want to here.

She's now told you, you're invited to everything and she's acknowledged she maybe should have volunteered information a bit sooner. Why it's bothering you so much in the face of this is maybe something that needs a bit of analysis.

I think its not necessary to understand the why of every friendship situation....you are not the same as she is and either you are fine with that or you aren't. "Why don't people do what i would do?" is one of those questions that don't need an answer...I am not sure why you should feel stupid because you did what you would do....your choices are as valid as hers.

The hen-do I'm pretty certain I was invited just to make their accommodation cheaper. Her and her work mates kept wandering off, leaving me in unknown city. I thought I was imagining it but they did it all weekend.
This is why I don't understand why she wants me to meet the groom's family but never considered me friend enough to tell me about him to start with and was rude to me at the hen-do? Why not cut me out altogether?

The wedding isn't an issue as I won't be going as I would rather go to my actual relative's wedding which is on the same weekend.