3rd child, am I crazy ?

[Storyofalion]

I am 28 years old with 2 children -4 years old and 8months old.
I really Do want another child, my husband also wants one last however we dont own a property.
We rent and have been for the last 5 years .
We wont be able to buy anything for at least another 5 years, in the mean time I would like to go back and study midwifery.
I really dont know what to do but I am sure I dont want to go for another 5 years , buy a house and then have my 3rd child and start all over again .
I would love my two youngest to have small age gap.
What would you do ?
I know it would be very risky to have our 3rd and not having the security of being on the ladder but at the same time I know that if we wait we would not be having it at all.
Did you ever regret not having 3rd child ?
My heart screams do it yet my brain tells me not to due to the current house situation, saving for deposit etc :(

You’re insane- sorry but another child will completely derail your finances, you owe it to your existing children to be as financially secure as possible. You say you could buy in 5years, is that only if the housing market looks the same in 5years?. My house is worth near on double what I paid 8yrs ago- not a brag because 1 3 bed terrace is still worth 1 3bed terrace.
Also pre schoolers are quite cheap- wait until you have uniform, school dinners, clubs, activities to pay for.

@OnlyFoolsnMothers I knew it, I think I just need someone to remind me that I am insane and to listen to my brain

I'm in same position, there are so many reasons to stick at two, but I still want just 1 more for some reason. I have read these 3rd child threads before and most with 3 seem to regret it!

Do you think after 3 you'd feel the same and want another one?! I'm in the same position. Heart/head dilemma

@LoveB I am scared about this too !
I thought 2 children would be enough but cant help but cry over this now , I really really want last baby:(((((((

@Jenn500 as in regretting the 3rd child ?

I have 3 - number 3 was a surprise, but hadn’t been completely off the cards….I definitely don’t regret it, but I am honestly shocked at how much less money we have, and how now I feel that things are very tight financially, as opposed to fairly comfortable with just 2 kids. A big part of that is the child care fees, but looking to the future, I am very nervous I’ll admit - I don’t think we’ll be able to give our kids half the things I had growing up. Some of it is just the financial climate these days, but the Thurs baby makes a bigger impact than I expected!
however, I adore the bones of her and could not regret having her.

However, I feel absolutely and completely 100% done!! I never want to be pregnant again, no little broody feelings when I look at babies or anything. And I couldn’t say that after I’d had 2!

Three is soo much harder than two. Financially it's a struggle. And your kids will get way more expensive soon. Teens are very expensive to clothe, feed and buy gifts for.
Also, you will probably need a bigger car with 3 kids.
My advice is don't do it!

I have four children, and I'll happily admit that I didn't really consider that they'd cost a lot more as they got older. We are in a rough spot now they are teens.

I’d go for it. Sorry to be pessimistic, but with the cost of living going up and up and wages stagnating, are you ever going to buy a property? I wouldn’t put your life and family decisions on hold in order to try and maybe one day buy a house. Have the baby OP 😊

You are so young, go for it.

My third baby was a drunken “oops” 🤷🏻‍♀️🙈. My ExH and I already had 2 DCs very close in age, I was a SAHM, he’s military - so was away a lot. We lived in military housing, and in all honesty, it was only his job that allowed us the few luxuries (like me being able to stay at home with the kids) we had. I was terrified when I found out I was pregnant again - mostly because it wasn’t remotely planned and I couldn’t see how I could possibly split myself between 3 kids under the age of 4. But we made it work. You just do.
Would I have planned a third child at the time? Hell no.
Is she the little dot of sunshine that completed our family? 100%.
I’m now a single mum, and parenting 3 DCs alongside working is so much harder than when I only had 2 DCs, but at the same time I’d never be without DC3, she’s got the sunniest little personality and her siblings absolutely adore her.

I’d go for it. I have 3 and definitely don’t regret it!

We're maybe a year ahead of you with the older ones and due our third in a couple of months. I reckon the childcare fees alone will set us back another 2 years in moving to the next house purely because it seems a total pipe dream whilst paying full time nursery. I'm not sure I would have done it if I wasn't happy that we're stable in a house we can really afford already.

I am fascinated by people who think that there gene pool is so superior that they need to not only replace it but increase it. That their contribution outweighs the environmental impact of having multiple children on the world.

Replace yourself but why add more children into an already overpopulated world?

You could end up with four children. Twin pregnancy. Be careful what you wish for 😬

My priority would be buying a house and building some financial stability before a third baby that urge does subside I’ve had it and I know it eases once you start to focus on a life beyond young kids

and fwiw I do agree with pp- why 3 kids? What will a third give you that 1 and 2 don’t? What if that’s not enough and you just have to have number 4?

I would focus on becoming more financially stable for the two children you do have. Children get more expensive as they grow older. Yes you may want a third but we can’t all have what we want. There are lots if things I want but can’t afford; there is a real probability that your two existing children will have less quality of life if you add a third into the mix.

Not necessarily rational or sensible in your situation OP.. but I’m currently pregnant with number 2 and I know in my heart of hearts that I don’t want this to be my last pregnancy. So I get it!

If you can't afford it then no third child, if you can then it is a possibility. Don't be someone who expects other people to fund you.