Surname

[BiscoffSundae]

When my daughter was born I gave her both mine and exes surnames (not double barrelled) I put mine first as I was told that that would mean mine is the one that would be mainly used, I’ve later found out that this is NOT true when everywhere started immediately dropping mine and only referring to her under my exes, as in not using mine at all, I later found out it’s because places will assume mine is a middle name 😒

she now has no contact with her father at all and hasn’t in a few years, I would like to change it but unable to as he is on the bc and won’t give permission, I have asked for places to have her under just mine name but they have refused. Which is weird as I have always been told you can have a known as name and only the passport office won’t accept, I wouldn’t mind the surname if she saw her father but she doesn’t also wouldn’t mind if places were using both surnames but they are not, mine has basically been erased. So they are happy to drop mine but won’t let me drop his. Has anyone managed to use a known as name for their kids as I’ve heard it is possible? not like I’m asking to add a brand new name on she has both surname. Just went to the pharmacy today for fed prescription and they only Called out his surname like I said mine has pretty much been erased off her name.

What are the places that are using just her dads surname - is it school etc and can she then correct them and say “no, my name is XYZ”?

How old is she?

This makes no sense. My children have both surnames and they are both used everywhere they go.

You need to be more assertive and stop letting places drop part of your chlid's surname.

Drs, dentist, have both refused, school is the only place that havent refused.
I have asked but they won’t change it unless it’s official so won’t do a known as, for example I will call and ask to book an app for Sophie M (both not her name just an example) and they will say “do you mean Sophie H?” Like I said today at the pharmacy I was collecting her prescription and they called out Sophie H not Sophie M H, so places are quite happy to drop mine.

To be fair, if its not double barreled I'd assume it was a middle name too. No idea if the systems would allow a change though.

How old is DD? She can change it herself at 16.

This is what I don’t get, I don’t get why they are dropping mine?! It’s not double barrelled is all I can guess? She just has two names, I did correct them at the pharmacy today I said it’s M not H and she said “well It’s H on the system”

She’s 11 I thought she could change it at 16 as well but recently found out it’s actually 18

It's definitely 16. My ds changed his last year (at 17 as we also thought it was 18)
DS2 is changing his this year when he turns 16.

I did the exact same thing. My DD went to a solicitor and legally dropped my ex's name on her 16th birthday.

You also don't need to pay for anything.
Just make your own unenrolled deed poll. The bank have accepted it, and we've applied for his provisional driving license, so far they haven't said they won't accept it.

I’m glad to hear it’s 16 don’t know why I read it was 18, in the mean time should the drs be accepting a known as name? I’ve heard of others doing this? Don’t really want to wait another 5 years before we can get rid of his name, and I’m getting sick of being referred to as miss exesname