How long do your children take to get to sleep

[opulentalligatorsalt]

I am an excellent sleeper. I can sleep anywhere at all. I sleep within ten minutes of trying without fail most nights.

My DS however can take anything between 45-90 minutes to get to sleep and I am getting really frustrated with it.

He is almost 8 and we have a solid bedtime routine that starts at about 7 and involves a bath/shower some calm play with Lego and at least 30 mins of him reading in bed and us reading a story to him. We switch his light out at 8pm. It's a miracle if he is asleep before 8:45. Sometimes at 9:30pm he is still awake. He admits he finds it hard to get to sleep. He is an early riser too and wakes between 6:15-6:45 every sodding day and has done since he was about 18m old. No matter how late he stays up, he wakes at this time every day. So he gets I would say 9hrs sleep a night and only marginally more than I do and I'm bloody shattered!!

His younger brother falls asleep easily if he's tired but always within 20 mins or so. He wakes around 7 but if he's tired he will sleep in.

Is this within the realms of typical for a boy his age? I he gets quite stressed about how long it takes him to get to sleep and I have been toying with speaking to the GP. But it may we'll be 'normal', hence this post!

We do have some minor concerns that he may have ADHD or similar. His brain is always on, he does not stop and is highly intelligent in specific ways. School have not flagged anything and I have asked outright if they think he's ok and they said he's fine. He sits and listens well at school and focuses on his school work well enough for them to have no concerns. I mention this because I know ADHD can cause sleep issues and I wasn't sure if that was perhaps what we are seeing?

We have tried everything going to help his sleep, meditation, massage, long baths, music, audiobooks. He doesn't have any screentime past 5:00 and in the week he has very little to none anyway.

5 year old DD about 15 minutes with one of us sitting next to her. Generally sleeps through.
8 year old DS about 90 minutes. Would sleep more quickly but is kept up by 7 year old DS who takes about 3 hours to sleep and then wakes throughout the night too!

My 10 year old son is the same, he just can't switch his brain off. He would get very frustrated and complain that he couldn't keep still.

We suspect ADHD and are waiting for an assessment.

Melatonin has been a godsend. Our GP recommended it (they can't prescribe it) and we found some in a natural health shop nearby.

@JimMorrisonsleathertrousers ah that's so interesting!! I didn't realise you can get it over the counter? Thought it had to be prescribed and assumed we would need an assessment for that!

My 8 year old is the same. He cannot lie still. He just physically can't keep his body and his brain still at the same time. He can keep his body relatively still if his brain is busy, but one or the other has to be moving. He has some sensory issues too.

Out of interest, did school raise any concerns for your DS?

@TheVillageBaker our youngest is frequently kept up by the 8yo wriggling and being annoying so we have to do separate bedtimes as they have to share a room. I feel your pain here!

Yes it was actually the senco at his school that first suggested it, as he is the same in school. When she mentioned it the penny dropped. After lots of form filling we are now on the waiting list for an assessment.

Before melatonin he was taking ages to relax and sleep. Waking before anyone else at 6am, and then shattered all day. Now he has 2mg and is asleep by 9pm. Still wakes at 6am, but is in a much better mood and is ready for the day.

@opulentalligatorsalt the melatonin we get is in a spray. The brand is Super Smart.

My 8 year old goes to bed at 7.30- 8 ish and will read for up to an hour or so. He wakes up between 6.30 and 7 but he's quiet in his room until 7. He doesn't seem very tired and can cope well with school and clubs etc. One night a week he doesn't even get home until 8.30.
If your ds goes to sleep at 8.45 and wakes at 6.45 I don't think that's really unusual is it? I would have thought 9-10 hours was normal for an 8 year old, especially since school say he has no problem concentrating at school. Have you tried less of a bedtime routine and a slightly later night?

Mine take minutes but they're bloody annoying and wake up before 6am every single day and have done all their lives...they're shattered, miserable and grumpy before bed...

Sounds within the realms of normal though, at that age you shouldn't have to be hands on at bedtime?

This is very similar to us.
My 2.5yo is usually asleep within ten minutes.
The 7.5yo can be 30-60 mins. Struggling to sleep, panicking she'll never get to sleep (she's obviously gone to sleep every night of her life!) tossing and turning, fretting, too hot, too cold, unusual thoughts, scared of dark, too noisy...
She also currently needs someone near her to fall asleep, which is the draining bit. If she was tossing and turning but we were downstairs I would be OK but she cries and really works herself up if we're too far away. I don't know what to do, I may try melatonin too.
I don't know if it's just a behavioural thing, she hasn't always been like this and before Easter we were in a much better routine (she took about half an hour but we were downstairs).

It's really tough isn't it.
Good luck to everyone struggling with this issue.

No agree we shouldn't have to be that hands on and to be fair he doesn't need us sat with him. He will come down once or twice every few days and say he can't sleep or whatever.

He does need us if his brother is still awake though otherwise they just wind each other up.

Thanks everyone so far. Its so hard to know what's normal!