Should I go on this holiday?

[Thrxverd]

There is a bit of a back story here, so thanks to anyone who makes it through.

Several years ago I found out I was pregnant and had an abortion. I really regretted it and was quite mentally unwell for a couple of years.

Not long after it happened, four friends from our group became very distant, would go on nights out without inviting the rest of us when they would have previously etc., and then one day removed themselves simultaneously from the group chat and one of them blocked us. I was already unwell, and we had been very good friends for so many years, and we still don’t know why they fell out with us.

I have sometimes wondered if part of it might be that they didn’t approve of the abortion - one of them in particular tried to convince me to change my mind.

Anyway, one of my close friends got back in contact with two of them, and they see each other every now and then, and I am happy for her. I have seen them once, and was friendly and polite, as were they, but they did once again mention the abortion.

The close friend is getting married and wants to go abroad for the weekend. I am going, and so are they. It’s not until next year but even the thought of it makes me anxious and makes my heart race. I am frightened that seeing them will trigger feelings I’ve worked hard to get rid of. I’m also scared they’ll raise the abortion again, which I do not want to talk about, especially to them.

I want to go and have already paid, and my friend will be upset if I don’t go. But I don’t want my mental health to regress. Should I go and just try and stay out of their way? I’m not sure why I’m posting really, other than I don’t want to discuss it with my friends because I don’t want them to think there is any issue. Thanks.

How big is the group

Going on holiday? Big, there will be 20+ women there but I only know a few.

You know your don't need to apologise for your abortion. I don't know if anyones told you that but 💐

Your body your choice. Full stop. Regardless of the circumstances as early as possible and as late as needed is the school of thought I come from.

It's no one else's body, no one else would have been there at 2am feed, to pay for the child, raise the child ect. What someone else would chose to do with their body has no baring on what your allowed to do with yours.

If it's raised I would be like "it's really weird that you think you have a right to comment on my body and choices I have made because you have zero right to comment on this and I would like you to stop" and then disengage. If they keep mentioning it I would get really loud about saying "please stop commenting on decision you had no idea about"

You don't have to be civil to these people, and I would just ignore them. Don't engage, don't justify but frankly it's no one else's business bar yours.

I say this as women who has suffered with infertility and lost a child. My issues with fertility do not impact anyone else's right to access safe medical abortions. You have nothing to apologise for or explain.

If you think this will set you back, say you have got DV last minute and very sorry but don't want to infect others and stay at home and have glass of wine and cake.

Sending you all the love and strength you need.

Ps these people sound like morons with no boundaries and you are better off without them in your lives.

I don't think I would go. Group numbers for 'abroad' things always start to dwindle and the last thing you would want would be to be stuck with them. They sound hideously judgy . If it were me, the anxiety would effect me until the holiday and nothing is worth risking your mental health over. Also don't feel bad or guilty , they just sound like the mean girls!! Don't bother x