Worried im going to fuck up DC :(

[Treetre]

When I was young I was emotionally neglected. I’m not sure how bad in the grand scheme of things and I have had a lot of good in life. But I am a bit fucked up. I get upset easily, I can be suspicious when I needn’t be, I get very down sometimes. I have some support from my DP but not loads, he’s not great with that sort of thing.

I have read so so many books over the years. I’ve had therapy. I’ve tried really hard and im still seeing someone professional but I just don’t think I will get a lid of this for a longtime if at all. So worried I will cause my own DC distress from the fact I haven’t sorted this out.

Try not to let your kids see how you feel, and try to be the best parent you can to them. You know exactly what not to do, so that’s a good start!
My (very balanced and turning out pretty well) DS16 asked me the other day if depression was genetic. His reasoning was that he’s the only one of his friends that’s never had depression or anxiety, and neither have me or his dad. What he doesn’t know is I’ve massively struggled with depression on and off all his life, including PND, but I’ve always tried not to let it affect my children. I’ve also brought them up with the tools to manage stress, low mood and anxiety: all things I had to learn as an adult in order to keep going! For my DC this has been a bonus, and so far they all seem pretty emotionally balanced and resilient, way more so than me. Your DC may well have similar benefits. They can learn from you all the skills you had to/ are having to learn the hard way. You’re learning to deal with a lot and you can help your DC to learn to practice those ways of thinking and being to help them overcome any small hurdles they may encounter.
You won’t mess them up. The very fact you’re asking and worrying about this shows you’re a very different parent to your own