Rent for young adult dd

[Nutsabouttopic]

Hi I'm looking for advice and opinions please as my DH and I disagree about this issue.
My DD is 19 the third of our DC's
She is working full time in a hospitality job while she decides what she wants to do next. She was offered a college course which she deferred but I don't think she has any interest in going to college. She is looking into doing an apprenticeship or she may stay working in her job.
Now I feel that she should be making some contribution/ rent/ board to the household. My husband doesn't. She's being working for a year taking home about £450 a week with on average £50 tips on top of it. She has a car, which we bought her. She is looking to change the car. She pays for her car, her phone and her social life. She saves the rest.
The other three DC's do not pay towards the household because they are in college or school. They work full time during the summer and use that money for their living expenses during the college year. We pay their accommodation and fees.
Dc4 is in school
Dd3 maintains that she shouldn't have to pay anything because the others don't. DH agrees with her but I don't, to me the circumstances are different. She lives here full time the older two are away in college. I'm more annoyed today because she did some overtime last week and she was given £150 cash . I'm struggling to pay the bills here. We pay for everything including pet food, two of the pets are hers. She has a foreign holiday booked with friends while I can't afford a day out. I'd love to hear what way other parents sort this out.
We bought her the car because we knew she was going to have to get a job and there's very limited public transport where we are

Maybe she ought to have to buy her own food and everything like that, but since you're covering rent and bills for the others, I don't think it fair that you ask her to do so because it seems a bit like you're penalising her for not going further in education. You could always ask her to move out and then she'll have to pay for herself. It won't improve your financial situation at all, but it will mean she has to pay for herself. Unless the goal is to improve your financial situation, and I would do that by reducing the amount you give the others by the same amount you charge her. Then it's equal

She absolutely should be contributing, it isn't comparable to the others as they are still in education.

How many years is she expecting to take the piss to not contribute, because her younger sibling is at school/college/uni and 'it's not fair'

Any full time worker in our house pays rent. We provide all food and utilities.

My DS worked during his gap year to save for university. He wasn't exactly full time but worked @ 30 hours week. He earned more than I didWe didn't charge him anything as a) we weren't in desperate need of the money (though it would have been nice!) and b) he was saving very hard for university.

However, he did cover most of his own outgoings and also as he worked in a supermarket he was given a 20% discount which saved me some money and he also bought home fresh produce that couldn't be kept until the next day etc which was a lovely bonus.

I think he paid once or twice for a takeaway so all in all I was very happy with our arrangement. He is a very kind and thoughtful son and I know I am lucky

I think what would would upset me the most about your DD is that she hasn't offered anything especially if she knows you are struggling. I would be very hurt about that

Your husband is setting her up for a lifestyle she cannot sustain on her own. She lives the champagne lifestyle on beer money.she has no sense of responsibility towards her own lifestyle or consideration for her parents. She will leave home unable to cope with adult life because she won't be able to afford the lifestyle to which she has become accustomed to. She will be unhappy and disillusioned with life unless you start to teach her about personable responsibility and budgeting and paying out for things like bills and rent

"We will financially support you to the sane level as the other dcs while you are in full time education. All our children who choose to live at home, and not be in education, will be told they can, for 20% of their take home salary. We Rent tearing you any differently to how we would treat them if they lived here and weren't at uni or college. Don't like it? Go to college. Don't want to go to college? Pay rent or find a house share"