Has class ever affected your relationship?

[Badobedah]

Just been wondering really... my exH and I divorced and it was largely due to the difference in our class. But I know other people do seem to make it work... so maybe it wasn't actually down to class - maybe it was actually just me and my attitude?

When we met (age 19/20) we had very similar views and values on things. In our own little bubble of two, we had a lovely, happy life. He was obviously 'posh' and had money, but was still someone I saw as my equal. We naively thought class was irrelevant. Maybe he was rebelling a bit against his family at the time idk.
But the world he is from is a very different one to mine, and even to the one we shared together. It was definitely one I didn't ever fit into. Its not just about the money- plenty of wealthy people dont live in this high class society. To me, it was like a cross between Downton Abbey and some dystopian world! There were different rules. I didn't ever have the right outfit to wear, I didn't shop in the same places they shopped, had nothing at all to talk about with these people- 'Oh so you don't ride horses/play polo/play any instruments/shoot clay pigeons etc?'
His parents, although always pleasant to me, didn't ever approve of me due to my lower social class. And we eloped which was like a massive crime to them and brought shame on the family
It didn't matter how nice and including people tried to be, it was always so awkward and was glaringly obvious that I didn't belong. It was embarrassing and I felt pitied. I know this does say more about me, than them. I really did try, but it was awful. It was okay with just his immediate family, but there were so many events and things we were expected to go to. Before we were married, he would attend lots of these things alone, as I didn't want to go. This worked out well. But once we were married there was this expectation that I should attend these things as his wife, which caused arguements. We have 2 children and after they were born, he seemed to be veering back towards that lifestyle, spending more time in those social circles. And so the marriage fell apart. That was not my world and not one I ever felt comfortable being a part of. And he didn't seem like the same person I fell in love with anymore.
We're still friends, in as much as exs can be and we co-parent well. I often wonder if I should have made more effort or been more accepting. I know it was mainly my insecurities around that lifestyle that ended the marriage. If it was just me, him and the kids, away from his family and that lifestyle maybe it could have worked.

Sounds odd, a shame. What sort of childhood did you have, was it loving and normal? What sort of do's was he going to? What sort of functions? Do you have low self esteem? Do you feel comfortable holding your own at your job, at meetings?
I have been to a few posh do's and have never felt I couldn't hold my own in conversation with anyone.

Ha ha, yes- probably was a lot do to with my personality! Normal upbringing. I was young, quite quiet/shy/more of an introvert. I can be a bit socially awkward sometimes 😆 so that probably didn't help!

I've only ever had relationships with other working class people. I dated a man a while ago who was quite middle class, he was a professional and his family were all professionals. We had a few dates, we got on well and there was chemistry but it never progressed to anything more because he ended it, saying he fancied me, he liked me a lot and cared about me but that it would never go anywhere and I feel it was due to the fact he saw me as below him. We got on but I always felt there was a mismatch. I went on to marry someone more on my wavelength and everything just clicked into place.

I'm pretty boringly middle class, and DP grew up fairly poor, and we definitely notice differences. It helps that we both get irritated by our parents' attitudes so we bond over that. My parents are extremely pushy academically and cannot imagine not wanting to hot-house a child through school and to university; her parents haven't worked for most of their lives and don't understand why either of would want a career. I think the times when it's a problem, are when we have a difference of opinion/different expectations, and instead of feeling able to just discuss it, we revert to thinking 'well she thinks that because she was brought up differently from me'. And that starts to make it feel like a bigger, more fixed issue than it needs to be.

Your ex doesn't sound like a very nice person TBH - I can't understand taking someone to a social event where they feel like the odd one out, and not being supportive of them so they can have a good time.

Not relationship as I married my university boyfriend and we come from similar backgrounds but definitely friendships...I think it was a mixture of my own insecurities and our lifestyles being too different. I was always a bit embarrassed we couldn't reciprocate on the bbq/playmates in big garden front.