Sympathy for my first world problems, and share your own to make me feel better!

[MountainSun]

It’s all just a bit much and I need to vent. Even if no one reads I’ll feel better for writing it out.
Ive got three young kids and a business which has gotten really busy.
I’ve also got a lot of large pets, which I love but it is just exhausting at the moment.
Im a full time student (NHS) at a uni an hour away.
Im in the middle of writing my dissertation which is like walking through treacle in concrete shoes.
Our nanny has just handed in her notice (we don’t have a nanny because we’re posh, it’s because there’s fuck all childcare where we live, especially for unsociable NHS hours). The house is a mess.
I’ve got a bad cold and I’m exhausted. Constantly.
I’m not parenting as well as the children deserve because of all of the above.
I’m knackered and getting fatter due to comfort eating.
I’ve just had my placement rota for the summer, and there are clashes with so many of the childrens things.

These are all first world problems, I’m well aware of that. But FFSAKE it’s all just too much all at once and I just want to go to bed for a week but I can’t not even for an afternoon.

anyway, that’s it really. Don’t think I feel any better yet 😂

Honestly, it sounds like you are trying to do too much!!! Something needs to change or you are going to burn out.

Agreed.
is there anything that can ‘go’? Anything else you can outsource?
I like to dump everything on paper and that helps me work through the shit 😂

Wow that's a lot going on 💐

I'm shattered, got hayfever which is affecting my sleep, work is OK but struggling to motivate myself for anything else, sick of sitting at a desk all day. I'm eating crap because I'm tired, which makes the tiredness worse so a vicious circle. Tried losing weight but eating healthily and doing loads of exercise didn't lose anything so I don't know what to. Dd2 is ill with sore throat. House looks like crap, even though I've done a load of tidying and cleaning.

Thank you.
I don’t know what can go. When my degree is finished that will be a big load off, but it’s not finished yet.
Need to find a new nanny urgently, which is a full time job in itself but I’m barely finding time to reply to applications. Im annoyed that our current one is leaving, couldn’t have come at a worse time really but there we go.
Most applications are completely unsuitable and I’m just losing the will with it all.
I’m cutting down on big pets but I can’t just release them into the wild and selling isn’t easy at the moment with the cost of living etc. I’m doing my best though.
The business is another full time job. Started the year before my degree, so 3/4 years ago. Grown rapidly due to DH’s pure hard graft and now turning over half a million. If we can just hold on then it will be so worth it in a few years if it all pays off, but so stressful and busy just now.

I think if I can sort…

• nanny


• dissertation


• house


• degree


• sell 3 large pets

…then I will be getting somewhere. But until then!? I’d like to just turn in a shit dissertation but if I can just get an A on this then I should get a first.

I hear ya 💐💐

Don't beat yourself up, its not first world problems like worrying about the tiling in of your fourth guest bathroom its the very real struggle of having children/work/ study to balance. It sounds like you have a awful lot on your plate.

I am feeling like a crap parent today. I have been ill recently with kidney issues, still wiped out so the kids have been watching Tv and their kindles ALL DAY today. They missed swimming this am because i can't drive on these strong painkillers so they are cross with me. My house needs a good clean but im too wiped out. They are likely to have jacket pots and cheesy beans for tea followed by bananas and ice cream which isn't exactly great...

Honestly some weeks are just crap.

What about help with the dpets in the short term? Might be quicker than awaiting childcare to release the pressure...

Finances won’t really stretch to it, it’s just daily drudgery really. Still paying nanny wages, plus will probably need extra for temporary childcare before we find anyone else after the notice is up, and I won’t be earning until October probably.
The business is doing ok yes, but I can’t justify taking money from that for pet help :(

@1000yellowdaisies that sounds like a brilliant tea! Protein, veg, fruit, dairy, and utterly delicious.

My first-world problem is that H has just seen that the unsalted butter is dated 23 May so we need to use it up; but I need some unsalted butter for the cake I'm making for 5 June, and the only Big Shop 10% Off I'm doing before then is this Monday because otherwise I won't get the half-price pork, so I'll be buying a pack of unsalted butter while we're still using up this one.

You could put the rest of the pack of unsalted butter in the freezer so it will still be fresh for making a cake in June.

My first world issue is that Paul Weller's amazing album Fat Pop released May 2021 has not been made into a piano guitar and vocals songbook. I could honestly play this sheer work of art all day long and I cannot play piano without sheet music....!

I've just gone to get in a duvet cover that's taken 2 days to dry, to find a bird has shit on it. It's back in the machine.

God my first world problem is currently that my husband bought cheapo beans.

You've got too much going on TBH. Is anything that can give before you break?

I think the whole "first world problems" thing has become very toxic in that now we have people (and you are a prime example) who are actually going through real struggles and then on top of said struggle now they feel guilty for even struggling.

Guess what; any problem you have is real and valid. If it affects you then it's not a "first world problem" it's your problem that's affecting your one and only life.

Well done for achieving so much and for working to achieve so much.

Your body will shut down though, and this is the first sign, the mental stress. This happened to me. I got into a situation where I was non-stop 24/7 and eventually my body shut down on me and I got very ill and had to pull out of things. I then reduced my work commitments. It was ruining my mental health.

You don't have to do all that. And you can do less if you need to.

I hate the term first world, think about what this implies about other countries!

I'm glad your DH is putting in pure hard graft for your business, but what is he doing to do his share of the rest of all the stuff that is exhausting you...

Thank you for this.

Yes, this happened to me a few years ago when I had far too much on. Basically had a bit of a breakdown, followed by IBS and appendicitis which had long term effects. Not sure how I’ve done it to myself again, trouble is there’s not much that can give at the moment. It’s all just kind of snowballed at the same time which is unfortunate.

I think I need to do my dissertation and end of degree work as a priority, instead of trying to do bits of everything all at once. I think if I do a week of sleeping only 5 hours I can pull it off in 7 days. Then it will all be worth it when the week after it’s a massive load off. Im working 10 hour days next week but at least we still have the nanny for another 3 weeks so if I get home at 7pm then work till 1am that’s a good 5 hours after food and shower, then up at 6 is 5 hours sleep. I can’t do anything my 2 days off as the kids have sporting events 2 hours away each day.

Im realising how mad this sounds as I type it out but I can’t see another way.

Definitely feel that it’s first world problems, I chose to do a demanding course at uni because I wanted to better myself, I knew it would be hard with three kids, and I wanted to carry on with my sport and all their sports throughout, and I can hardly complain that the business is doing ok. My lecturer says that if I do ok on the dissertation I’m on track for a first, otherwise I’d just be handing in a picture of a sailing boat or something at this stage 😭

anyway moan moan moan sorry!

This sounds like way too much. Any chance you could have room for an Aupair instead of a nanny- cheaper and maybe around more so the money could go on outsourcing something else eg. care for the pets? (Never had an au pair or nanny so don't really know what I'm talking about!)

I heard recently what kids need is 10 mins focused attention 1:1 each day. That's roughly half an hour for your 3. Just wondered if that's possible too as it's a hard feeling when you think you're not being the parent you want to be. Maybe everything might feel better if this area felt closer to how you want it to be..?

Hope you find a way to make things easier.