What do people who have a grip on anxiety think when they find a breast lump.

[velvetblanket]

So I have found a hard pea size lump towards the top towards the side of my right breast last night. My periods are irregular so can’t attribute it to my cycle or not if you see what I mean. I only check my boobs intermittently. I’m 40yrs old.
Plan is to contact GP Monday.

My question is to those who haven’t got anxiety or health anxiety, what would your rationale train of thought be of this was you. I’m catastrophisising on this and this tends to a trend. I had a health scare 8 months ago (bleeding from bottom) and convinced myself it was bowel cancer. It turned out to be a lot less serious in the end thank goodness.
I just don’t have a grip on things anymore so would like some advice on what others who do have a grip would think.

My internal narrative was something along the lines of;

What's...

fuck

fuck
fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK

FUCK

Got through to the GP, the receptionist started to say 'could you call in the morn-'

I said 'I found a lump'

'Ah. Can you get here in the next twenty minutes?'

FUCK FUCK FUCK

After the GP said he needed to refer me urgently because there was definitely one there and it felt hotter than the surrounding area, I came out of the surgery and the narrative went much as before;

fuck fuck fuck fuck I'm going to die and leave my children motherless fuck fuck fuck what will they do fuck fuck fuck fuck

Turned out to be a cyst that ruptured as the doctor pressed quite hard with the ultrasound (I think he was doing it deliberately).

Narrative changed to

Thank fuck for that.

It's OK, OP. You aren't coping any worse than others - it's a horrible, scary feeling.

I've had breast cancer. The reality is it could be a cyst. Even if it is cancer people do often survive (I'm still here). The other reality is that anxiety doesn't help. Distraction is good. A good book, a series, a film, a sport - whatever you enjoy do as much as you can.

Gah! Can anyone who has a grip lend it to me for the next week or so cos I realise now the anxiety over this is starting to affect my breathing.
I can feel myself spiralling. FUCKING LUMP! FUCKING ANXIETY!

I'd be telling myself that even if it is bad news, breast cancer is so treatable now and nearly everyone survives. Which is true.

Is that true or are you saying it to comfort me? Even if it's more than stage 1? Haven't looked at the actual stats as I don't think it would help me
.

Could you contact the GP and request some medication to assist? They're usually very helpful when such things happen, because they know just how much they affect people.

I have had several lumps. All were benign. I had a mole last year. Also benign. Most of them are. I am no expert but I believe as you age, bumps become more common.

I had a lump in January, was seen and was fatty tissue nothing to worry about. It was a horribly anxious time and I found posting on Mumsnet really helped.

The two week pathway is still that in my area (Wiltshire) and in fact I rang to say I'd be happy to take a cancellation and was seen within five days in the end.

I recently went to the GP with breast pain and she did an examination and found 4 lumps (I hadn’t felt them before). I was referred straight away and got my appointment the next day for 10 days time.

was in the breast clinic for the afternoon, mammogram and ultrasound done and found to be nothing more than normal breast tissue.

i do have slight health anxiety and like you I jumped straight away to the worst case scenario, but the appointments were quick and I had my result the same day. The relief was immense.

I am 40’s and was told it could just be the start of peri menopause hormone related.

very best of luck to you, I really hope it’s nothing.

I do have health anxiety to a point. So what I do is work to prevent illness.

So instead of checking my breasts, I massage them in the bath, and do lymph node drainage with a textured cloth.

I eat well and take supplements.

This way I feel I am preventing illness, and if/when I get sick, or my child get sick, and I panic and the internet says 'yeah, that's probably cancer' I can rationalise to 'no, you eat well, take measures to ensure your and your family's health, it's probably going to self-resolve'

and I have been right so far.

I think it's about attitude. Stress facilitates illness, the body is in a state where it can't fight off disease. So, eradicate the stress and you are more likely to be okay.

I look at it that way; if I am anxious about sickness, why would I increase my chances of becoming ill by stressing over it?

It takes about an hour to get back to normality once I've gone over the whole 'have to go to hospital and be diagnosed with instant death'

Come ON! You know nothing at this stage. It's so likely to be benign. Do not Google or look at stats. I remember my surgeon saying to me "Google if you want, it will do nothing but raise your anxiety because none of it applies to you and it's all largely out of date". So that was that. Helped my head immediately. Stop dwelling as best you can. There is no point worrying about it until you have something to worry about. Sending hugs, I know this is hard

@TheFormidableMrsC Thank you. I needed that.

You will be fine and if you're not, you'll also be fine 🤷🏻‍♀️. Please keep posting and we'll all keep telling you. Does that sound ok? X

@TheFormidableMrsC you are wonderfully kind. Thank you
Thanks everyone who has shared their experiences. I'm trying to take snippets of ideas to help.
Will keep posting x

If you like alcohol, go and have a glass of something. Go give your kids a snuggle. Talk to your partner if you have one. I really do understand how you're feeling but I also know the reality is far less scary than you think. It's nearly 10 pm, go and enjoy your Saturday night! You'll be ok!

I totally get it. Similar happened to me recently. I am normally fairly stoic but I completely lost the plot. Couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, tears…I was absolutely convinced I was going to die. Lying awake in the middle of the night wondering how my children would cope without me.

Went to the breast clinic, was in and out in about an hour with a clean bill of health.

@velvetblanket it is stage and type dependent but the majority still do.

I found a small breast lump when I was in my late forties. I got my husband to confirm that I wasn't imagining it, saw my GP within a few days, and was referred to the suspected breast cancer clinic. I wasn't anxious at any stage and knew that even if it did turn out to be cancerous it was likely to be curable and the most important thing was to avoid any delays in diagnosis and treatment. Everyone at the clinic made me feel secure and confident in the care I was receiving. It turned out to be a benign lump which eventually disappeared.

I hope you get an answer soon, OP. I know from experience in other situations that uncertainty over the seriousness of a symptom can play havoc with your emotions.

I was diagnosed with breast cancer last year. I’m a pragmatist and a healthcare professional, I don’t really think it makes a difference if you have health anxiety or not, a lump in the breast is scary and probably the worst thing I have ever been through. I tried to talk myself calm but it didn’t work.
You are doing the right thing to see your GP asap. Breast cancer service s have been working normally throughout the pandemic but screening was suspended for a year so there is a slight bottle neck. You should be put on the 2 week path if needed but it may be more like 3 weeks.
Please don’t worry about this, breast lumps(cancer) take between 2-9years to reach a size where they can be felt. So an extra seven days is not going to alter things.
At the first appointment prepare to be there a while, you will have a mammogram possibly followed by ultrasound and biopsy.
The biopsy is not painful, they use local anaesthetic, and they talk you through everything. They will tell you if it’s suspicious.
Then it’s a two week wait for results. I think you can take someone with you now. Breast cancer teams are amazing and they are used to dealing with anxiety.
I was lucky, my cancer had not spread to the lymph nodes and I didn’t need chemo. I had a lumpectomy & radiotherapy and take hormone blocking drugs.
Life was tough but I’m now not focused on cancer anymore. I joined a support group on Facebook but have visited it less and less recently.
Survival rates are really high for breast cancer. Probably even higher than those quoted online since they are based on old data. Modern treatment is tailored to the individual. Only 5-10% of women benefit from chemo so most have just surgery and radio with hormone blockers if the tumour is hormone sensitive.
Even those whose cancer is more advanced can live for years with modern drugs. It is becoming a chronic disease rather than a death sentence.
I apologise if this post is a bit of a trigger but sometimes knowing more of the facts can help.
Finally, like others have said, 90% of lumps are benign. There are a number of apps available for recording breast examination. They allow you to plot any lumps in your breasts so that you can compare them month on month. I noticed a thickening/change in my breast just before I had screening so it wasn’t a massive shock when I had a recall appointment. You don’t necessarily feel a distinct lump.

I am anxious and do have breast cancer. I would get it checked, your chances are much better caught early. 90% are benign. I expected mine to be as all my previous cancer tests had been negative and no family history and suddenly a 5cm cubed lump rock hard appeared overnight. But nope it was cancer, lobular which forms lump at end. Its rubbish if it is cancer but its normally a lot less treatment and a lot higher success rate with a pea size lump but hopefully wont come to that.

Where I am the 2 week wait was a 3 week wait but as my GP who first dismissed it in June, second time in November different one said that is cancer I phoned breast clinic, took 3 hours to get through but got on cancellation list and seen in a week. Cancer confirmed at appointment when had physical, mammo, ultrasound and biopsy. Biopsy confirmed week later. My clinic ypu cannot take anyone but others you can. Mine is stage 2 but bad side of stage 2 and 90% chance of surviving 5 years, 70% for 10 years but mine was almost 5cms and gone to 1 lymph node. Pea sized is almost always stage 1 and less treatment and much better outcomes.

I would say in your case like anyone with a lump 9 in 10 chance not cancer. Even if cancer pea size would almost 100% of time be stage 1 due to size where survival rates are similar to normal survival rates so no need to worry about dying. Treatment wise at stage 1 its normally something like a small surgery which is fine and a weeks radio which makes you tired.

Thanks all who has posted. I feel stupid posting amongst all of those who have been actually diagnosed.
Am looking at other MN threads and learning the lingo and unfortunately mine seems to be tethered type of lump, not movable so not likely to be a cyst. More worried now.
I woke up every hour last night very suddenly, the anxiety having a real physical affect on me.

Angrymum22

I was diagnosed with breast cancer last year. I’m a pragmatist and a healthcare professional, I don’t really think it makes a difference if you have health anxiety or not, a lump in the breast is scary and probably the worst thing I have ever been through. I tried to talk myself calm but it didn’t work.

I totally agree. Everyone has anxiety in certain situations; it's a normal emotion.
It becomes pathological when it's inappropriate and interferes with your life for an extended period.
Imo, to worry about a breast lump is appropriate (although, as PPs have said, may not be necessary).
I don't "have anxiety"; I get anxious at times and know it's a horrible way to feel. I would be catastrophising too; that can also be a "normal" way to feel.

I really hope that everything turns out well for you, OP, and you really do have my sympathy for the deeply unpleasant feelings you're having right now.

Thank you