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WWYD?

8 replies

TowerRavenSeven · 20/05/2022 17:42

Our ds has been dating his girlfriend 6 months, she is his first real girlfriend. They are both at university, his 2nd year, her first. She seems like a lovely girl (we haven’t met yet, he’s a whole day flight from us). We are (lower) middle income - we’re doing ok but we do watch and have a budget. His girlfriend’s parents are in a much higher income bracket.

We needed to send ds some papers he needed for his summer job, we had to overnight them. Long story short, the papers didn’t arrive the next day. His girlfriend intercepted them and then overnighted from her location. I’m estimating it cost her approximately £116 to overnight this.

I told ds to ask her how much it was and we’d reimburse him and then he could reimburse her. She said it ‘wasn’t that much’ and blocked him Venmo-Ing her so he couldn’t pay her back. He said he was going to buy her a gift or something to thank her but…he tends to let things slide, especially with this new job he started.

Here’s the WWYD part - should I get on him to get this gift, or should I stay out of it? They are an hour and a half apart so it’s not like he can take her to a nice dinner or something right away. We have been invited by her parents to stay at their vacation home in the summer for one night, and I’m going to bring a hostess gift and a little something for his girlfriend then but I hate to see her out what I see as a lot of money. I’m very new to this girlfriend thing, it’s his first so I don’t want to overstep but I want to impress on him that I think it’s important he pays her back - even as a gift. Thank you for reading this, sorry it’s so long!

OP posts:
cleatwave · 20/05/2022 17:55

You offered to pay, she declined. I’d just leave it at that.

pinthehammer · 20/05/2022 17:58

I'd say stay out of it. It's his relationship, it's up to them to deal with between them.

CheshireCats · 20/05/2022 18:00

Stay out of it

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FindingMeno · 20/05/2022 18:03

Stay out of it.
You offered, she declined - bad form to press it.

NerrSnerr · 20/05/2022 18:05

Leave him to it. They are adults. It seems very early 6 months in to be booking to stay with his parents too- I wouldn't pay for flights yet. At university relationships can change quickly and in another 3 months they might not be together.

TowerRavenSeven · 20/05/2022 18:25

Thank you all, I will stay out of it.

NeerSneer, I understand your viewpoint. However, we were going to visit ds anyway - so if the vacation home thing doesn’t work out that’s fine, we will just book out hotel for longer.

It’s kind of disjointed, but we are flying and booking a hotel near to ds for the first night. Then we are driving to their vacation home and staying the night the second night. If the relationship is off that’s fine - we will just stay an extra day at the hotel. The third day dh and I are driving to our friend’s home who live 4 hours from the vacation home whom I haven’t seen for two years. Then the next day we’re driving to my brother’s house for the July 4th holiday (we’re in the US).
Then we are driving back to where my son is to see him before we leave.

Thanks again to all who answered. I will stay out of it.

OP posts:
TomatoorChips · 20/05/2022 18:57

Hostess gift- Harris Gin. Cant go wrong

harrisdistillery.com/products/buy-isle-of-harris-gin

TomatoorChips · 20/05/2022 18:57

TomatoorChips · 20/05/2022 18:57

Hostess gift- Harris Gin. Cant go wrong

harrisdistillery.com/products/buy-isle-of-harris-gin

Ignore- just seen in USA

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