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Suddenly cannot bare eye contact so talking to people is off the cards! Aaargh

6 replies

Realitea · 20/05/2022 16:07

I’ve had a horrific year full of stress thanks to having a stalker and it’s still not over. Lots of people telling me I’m coping so well. I thought so too until about three months ago. Out of nowhere I was talking to a police officer about another incident at about 3am and suddenly everything started spinning and I felt extremely self conscious and couldn’t focus on what he was saying.
Now, as if my brain has found a pattern to it, if I’m talking to someone for longer than a very quick hi and bye, I get the same thing. It’s making me think i must come across as really weird and awkward and that makes it worse.
i now dread having to have a conversation with anyone. Which is crap because I’m really outgoing.
i was talking to an electrician today and I just had the whole thing, pounding heart, quickly looking away, not wanting to look back, having to put my hand around the back of my head while talking which seems to help but looks bloody weird. I actually just had to tell him in the end, ‘I’m sorry but I’ve got some kind of social anxiety at the moment in case you thought I come across strange’ how embarrassing!
What can I do? I don’t want to feel like this!
Talking therapies on the NHS won’t help as the cause is still ongoing which doesn’t help me AT ALL! And the stalking charities won’t help (apart from one but it’s not emotional support) because the stalker is a neighbour. Too complicated apparently. So I’m on my own

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Realitea · 22/05/2022 11:59

I have just realised it’s ‘bear’ not ‘bare’ 😬

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bellac11 · 22/05/2022 12:01

I get this from time to time, same with the spinning thing. Its when Im tired or stressed and my adrenalin is high

Have you tried some mild sedatives for a while, particularly if there are going to be days where there are lots of meetings for example

Or beta blockers

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Realitea · 22/05/2022 13:16

I’m thinking beta blockers might be good. The GP did recommend something due to what I’m going through at the moment and I said no at the time but I think I need to go back and say yes. I’m glad to know it’s not just me who gets this.
i think it’s just due to a year of having constant adrenaline and stress

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HumourReplacementTherapy · 22/05/2022 13:21

Sounds stressful and I've no experience wrt the eye contact thing but just wondered if as a temporary measure sunglasses might act as a 'shield'
If you feel they can't see the panic in your eyes it might help.
Just use an excuse for wearing if not weather appropriate, you have the remains of a migraine or something
Hope your gp can help

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Ohsugarhoneyicetea · 22/05/2022 13:24

Sounds like you might have cptsd over what has happened to you, look into it, there is a variety of help and treatment available for it.

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Realitea · 22/05/2022 15:58

Thank you so much @Ohsugarhoneyicetea - I just read up about it and it was a massive relief in a way. I have every single symptom and it didn’t occur to me before that it could be this. I’m going to call the doctor tomorrow (and ask for a telephone appointment rather than face to face of course!)

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