Would you let your 10 yr old

[Knittingchamp]

Eldest at different school from youngest DS, who is 10. Am considering him taking a short bus from outside school to train station (about 5 mins), then a train (10 mins). Only on the way home from school, as mornings would drive him.

For lots of boring reasons it would make my life so much easier (it'd mean I could pick him up from small local train station about 15 mins drive from me and more than halve the afternoon school run). We live in a safe rural place.

Do you think this is ok for him at his age, or would you wait longer? We would give him a little call-only phone. Trains go every 20 mins so it's fine if he misses one.

A summer birthday ten year old nearly at the end of y6, in preparation for independent travel to secondary school, yes. If they were happy to do it.

A ten year old in y5, no, and my child’s school wouldn’t allow them to leave unaccompanied until y6 anyway (albeit I don’t know how legal that actually is). I would probably feel differently if he was just walking straight home or if he could travel with other local kids. Depends a bit on your bus service, if the train station was manned etc and I’m probably naturally a cautious parent but I don’t like the idea of a lone ten year old hanging around a deserted bus stop if bus is cancelled for example. Especially next winter when it’ll be approaching dusk.

Thanks that's really useful. The bus is literally at the school gates and always busy and there's always kids from his school who would get the same train (train station nice, clean and manned). The kids who currently get the train actually walk to the station, I'd just worry about crossing the roads, etc. It's not so unusual round here from quite early on to do this, but I moved from a city where there would usually be no way in hell kids would do this until they are about 15!

Most Y7 around here do this without anyone blinking an eye and several I know just turned. 11 prior to starting in September.

We ensured DD was able to read a bus and train timetable mid Y6 when she stared to want. to meet friends on her own, she was 10 then.

In Y5 no child is allowed to walk alone, so it depends on the year group and school your child is in.

If his friends walk to the train station I would let him go with them. How far is the train station to walk?

Thank you, that's good to know! Two of his year already do it (they don't know eachother that well, though), so school are fine with it, it seems like it might be a good idea to me, but then again it's v different from the city culture we came from! Apparently some of the older students at his school might have volunteered to keep an eye on the younger ones so I'll check that, too.

@Aroundtheworldin80moves I'd say it's a 10 min walk, a nice walk actually just a few roads that need to be crossed (which is why I was thinking of the bus as an option - the bus/train times work out well together with about 10 mins in between). I guess the bus is only half the time that walking is, as there is traffic to factor in.

What sort of 10 year old? DS is 10, but almost 11 and will be Yr 7 in September. He's very sensible with things like this and would be absolutely fine. I think if we're talking about a Y5 just 10 yr old then no, it's a little bit too young still. there's a big difference in that year.

Also do they have a phone? Would you be in a position to 'rescue' them if necessary?

Would I let MY 11 year old do this, no. But the only time we use busses or trains is when we visit the inlaws, so it's all novel for him.
I did, however, aged 10, let himwalk home from school by himself. And occasionally let himself into an empty house.
So if your child is comfortable with the journey, and happy to try it, give it a go. If you are pushing them to do it because it would make your life easier and they have any doubts, you shouldn't do it.

Why not start with one or 2 afternoons a week, and see how it goes?

No I wouldn't if I'm honest. The school wouldn't even allow it here anyway they are only allowed to walk to/from school alone from 6th class . I would be also judged massively by other parents / family if I did it as well. We also live in a safe rural area

@TokyoSushi we'd defo give him a phone. And that's a good point re age. He's only 10yrs 2 months, so maybe we could just practice now, and think about him starting in September, to see how it goes?

See that was my initial reaction too, but kids do it younger round here!

This is a good idea, we'd actually do it together a bunch of times first and it wouldn't be every day. He's actually keen on feeling more independent so is looking forward to trying it out (if we do it).

I'd do it, it's a good age to start being more independent. I'd get him a normal phone though, not a "call-only" phone (do they even exist?) If he called you in an emergency you'd want to be able to call him back.

I suppose it depends on how familiar he is with taking buses and trains. I don't think I would agree to my just turned 11yo (y6) doing this, despite her being a sensible girl. I think there are a lot of opportunities for something to go wrong or for something unexpected to happen, and I'd worry that she might not know what to do.

I suppose I would possibly agree if she was in a group with others.

No I would not have my 10 year old take a bus and a train alone to get home from school. My own mother had me do similar though, also for reasons that made her life easier, so that probably clouds my judgment

How does he feel about it?

my DS school kids are allowed to leave on their own from year 5 and several take a short bus ( it’s a city). I suppose the only thing that made me pause was it is a bus and a train - but if he feels comfortable with doing it ( he might feel ok with the idea but then not when he actually has to do it!) then I’d give it a try.

No, not at 10, doing two separate journeys by two modes of transport. I wouldn't never be able to relax until he was home

In a couple of years, yes fine. My 15 year old was catching two trains to his father's house, 50 miles away, at 14. That's when he (and me)!felt comfortable

My 10yr old DD (Year 6, though) was taking 3 Tubes and a bus to get to school, and on one day a week Tube and mainline train home from a major station. She was totally familiar with the journey and alternative routes, though, and used to getting public transport every single weekday. She had a small brick phone and texted me when she got to school and when she got home (there was someone at home to meet her).
Never had a problem. Just make sure they're familiar with the journey and alternatives.

Thank you everyone, it's really useful feedback! I think all the other kids actually walk (rather than bus it) to the station as it's a nice walk, but I'm being super focused on the road crossings so I guess technically there's only the need for one mode of transport if he wanted a quick walk with friends instead. I'd be literally be there at the platform when he arrives on the other side and it's a friendly route. For those of you asking does he want to, yes, he's all for it, I'd love the convenience but still trying to weigh up pros and cons. Whatever we decide I'll do it with him quite a few times (if he does it in the end) so he's über comfortable. Food for thought, thanks all.

I think this depends entirely on your child. I walked 1/2 a mile to get the school bus at that age & I was going off on my bike from age 7 round the village. There's no way I would let my Y5 10 year old DS do any of this as he's completely distracted and in his own world - heaven knows where he would end up! Maybe I'm not giving him enough credit but until I see him check both ways before crossing a road I definitely wouldn't trust him!! Doesn't mean your 10yo isn't capable. What I'm saying is the age isn't the issue it's the level of awareness & maturity. If you think he could do it no bother give it a go! As an aside his old school also doesn't let them leave alone until Y7. New school is rural & no public transport so not an issue.

Sorry to hear that @fluffycereal my experience was similar if not worse growing up. Just so you know, I'm not being a lazy mum, lots of the kids already do it, my son is keen, and it's really very safe (they are such small journeys in very local easy routes) but I'm still very hesitant. If he wasn't keen it wouldn't have even had a second of discussion! But it's good to hear all experiences. It wouldn't happen without lots of practice either.

Agreed @kimfox, my son's friend was doing it happily a year ago (they're the same age) but she's way more focused and very together!

Yes I would be fine with that. DS got the school bus from year 5 (not public bus but school was 500 kids, multiple buses, shared with other schools). He (initially without my knowledge) would get on the wrong bus with friends then change to his bus outside another school. 40 minute journey, home 40 minutes before me. So he would have been fine with bus and train.

Thanks @Svara that's good to know;