How much money do you need a month to pay all bills and feed 2 people?

[Earlydancing]

I was reading an article about a woman who earned £40,000 and had take home pay of £2,300pm. Her mortgage was £800 which left her £1,500pm for all her bills, energy, insurance, car, utilities, etc, plus food for her and her 13yo son. She said she couldn't afford to feed him.

I live alone, run a car, insurances etc, but don't have to feed or clothe a child. So I'm a bit out of touch with family life. I'm not interested in discussing this woman really, she just provides an illustration for my question. If she's struggling, then it doesn't really matter what I think, she's still struggling.

So I was wondering, how much does it cost you per month on average to keep your house going and look after your family? I live in a 3 bed semi in NW England. My mortgage is paid off. I wouldn't think my monthly bills, including food, come to more than £800, maybe less? But I do think I am a bit wasteful which this has made me think about.

@GetThatHelmetOn when my ex was a detective in CID it was generally office hours unless there was a big case on. He would never be rota’d to work a night shift

Think my bills are approx £1,600 a month including petrol, food and subscriptions. Own car outright, no debt.

OP your question can't be answered. In some parts of the country housing is much cheaper. And Council Tax, and food. And public transport. And childcare. It really depends on people's personal situations. How old are their kids? How much childcare do they need around their job (they might have a higher paying job but that might require higher travel expenses/ rent/ mortgage/ childcare to be possible to do!).

It makes no more sense to compare the cost of living in most of NW England to that in London and much of the SE than it would to compare the cost of living in Iceland to the cost of living in Italy.

Are these people dual income earners so taxed less than single parents and get more state help than working single parents? Two people means less childcare cost. Even within regions, every family's situation is different.

Ultimately, almost everyone in the UK is struggling atm. That should be the focus.

Agree with @GiraffeInTheSky . Can't believe the unhelpful "she needs to learn to budget" comment.

What about unexpected finances? Car maintenance? House repairs and improvements? Replacing furniture? Paying for son's school clubs and wanting to send him on trips? Spending money for her? Replacing electronics? Dental work?

It shouldn't be unreasonable to ask for those things, particularly in return for the job she does.

But everyone has those unexpected costs. To say she can't afford to feed her teen on an income that's higher than a lot of people's (according to the website a PP posted she's in the top 50%) makes me wonder where her budget has gone wrong.

I'm not saying she IBU to want to provide those things. But she's not on the breadline.

@IstayedForTheFeminism I think her point was that lots of people are in a similar position, not that she's special. And it's not unreasonable to expect people to not be in that position!

The income graph doesn't tell the full story. Because of her income she might not be in receipt of benefits that low-earners and other single parent families are. She might not be eligible for help from school towards costs. On paper she earns "enough".

But everyone has those unexpected costs. To say she can't afford to feed her teen on an income that's higher than a lot of people's (according to the website a PP posted she's in the top 50%) makes me wonder where her budget has gone wrong.

I'm not saying she IBU to want to provide those things. But she's not on the breadline.

There are all kinds of reasons people's budgets go wrong. Unexpected job loss, ill health, bereavement, horrific family events etc. People insure themselves as much as they can against things but not everything can be predicted. Someone can find themselves living in a very expensive place, with high outgoings for all kinds of reasons, and then something changes. And they need help just as much as anybody else who has unexpected life events.

That's why we should have a robust welfare state that helps all people who they are struggling without judgement. The people you're being unkind to because they have higher incomes than you but maybe also much higher outgoings, also pay a lot of tax and also deserve help if unexpected things happen. They usually support others.

We shouldn't need people to be in poverty before we support them. We have no idea about the financial pressures other people have - different mortgages or childcare costs to us, hidden disabilities, you really do not know anything about anyone else's life.

Better to direct your energy to get a proper system in place so that nobody struggles when difficult life events happen.

Yep. But as a single parent on that income may have very high outgoings and get very little help at all. Stop looking for reasons to attack single mothers and look at the system instead.

And if her "much higher" outgoings mean she can't afford to eat then she needs to look at the budget and see what she can cut back on. That's all I meant.

Oh for goodness sake. If she can only earn that salary as a single parent (being charged more tax also than a dual adult household earning the same) she may well - very likely - have much higher childcare costs also than two people who can earn the same and pay less tax and share the childcare! She may have all kinds of costs you know nothing about.

Stop judging people. It's not as simple as "just cut your budget". If she cuts her budget for childcare or travel etc she may then not be able to earn that in the first place, and support her family. Would you prefer she just claims benefits instead or working and paying in to help others too? So short sighted. Stop turning on a working single mum and realise what the real problem is here.

Well she's got a point there. It's a shit place to be.
I could only base my original comment on the OP as I haven't seen the article.
OP asked how much you "need" per month. I commented how much I have.

We absolutely should be campaigning and fighting for everyone to have enough money to live. But until change happens we have to learn to budget.

I'm also a single parent. Too sick to work. Not sick enough to qualify for help. I used to work full time. Don't tell me I don't understand. I've lived it. I am living it. I know you cant just "cut a budget" you have to learn how to juggle it.

I am a single parent, too. Have been since mine were babies.

My whole point is that we should stand together against the discrimination against single parents in the system rather than attack each other.

Why does a couple get £25,000 per year of tax free earnings and a single parent only £12,500?

Why does a single parent get only 25% council tax discount not 50%?

Why does a single parent start losing child benefit if they earn £50k when a couple can earn £100k before than happens to their household? They can also get childcare help when they earn up to £200k! Not for a single parent, though.

Let's campaign for fairness not attack those who are keeping their heads above water for now.

Single parenting isn't easy for anyone and attacking each other is the worst move.

I'm also disabled btw, with two disabled children.

Well I didn't mean to attack anyone. My words obviously came across harsher than they sounded in my head. So I'll apologise for how it came across.

We absolutely need to stand together and fight for fairness or equality or whatever word I mean. My brain is jumbly.

I wish more of society would see the unfair way those rules are applied as being unfair. (According to my brother its not unfair that married couples have the higher allowances because they "did things the right way". He's clearly forgotten that divorce is a thing despite being divorced )

Yep. But as a single parent on that income may have very high outgoings and get very little help at all. Stop looking for reasons to attack single mothers and look at the system instead.

This comment was meant as I agree with you btw @TheTonEffect !

Aaargh. Your brother sounds like a twunt (sorry!!)

It is hard. And I think when times are hard people turn on each other but in my opinion this is a mistake. We should be asking why it is stacked against the amazing women who hold up society. We should be fighting for at least a fair system where our households get what two adult households do.

Absolutely

Her child is 13. She won't have childcare costs.

@Waxonwaxoff0 although 13 she likely needs some help, she won’t be working 9-5. Not sure what the take home will be as they have to pay for various job subs out of their wages.

Awful of the papers put her address in the paper, inc the village, picture of her house and the view opposite, very unfair especially safety reasons for her child.

@YerAWizardHarry gosh no!

My food bill is budgeted for around £100 per week, my mortgage is £1200. Sorry I didn't explain that clearly!

Why are people talking as if her salary, mortgage and age of child is unknown, or different to what has been posted (single parent of one 13 YO, takes home £2300 pm, mortgage £800)?

The claim that she cannot afford to feed her DS is a bit of an exaggeration, although she may be one of those Mumsnetters who believes that teen boys should be allowed to inhale an entire chicken each day (free range organic, naturally).

But she will have suffered a noticeable decline in her disposable income over the last couple of years due to costs that have risen far more than wages, particularly in the public sector.

She could be in debt and/or have high discretionary outgoings. The amounts people spend on things like food, eating out incl lunches, takeaways and coffees etc, cars, clothes, beauty treatments/haircuts, holidays, technology etc varies enormously and if she has champagne tastes in any of these areas, then her income isn't going to cover everything she wants in addition to everything she needs.

To answer the OPs question about this police detective claiming she cannot afford to feed her DS, she should have sufficient to pay all her bills and feed her child, but she won't have enough to do that and have enough left over to spend freely on everything else she could ever want, and if she does, she's going to feel the pinch somewhere.

No, she might need some help but it's very unlikely she'd be paying for full time childcare. Possibly a babysitter situation when she works a late shift or something.