Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Hen party anxiety!

27 replies

Allinmoderation · 19/05/2022 18:43

Need some advice please! I’ve been invited on a hen party for an ex work colleague turned friend who I really get along with. There’s a group of about 10-12 going, a city break for 2 nights & honestly I could really do with going as since I had my DC1 I’ve had rarely any social time away from her and so the thought of a girly weekend is exactly what I need. There’s a WhatsApp group and everyone’s buzzing about it and we’re now on the topic of room sharing… this is where my problem is..

I am unfortunately an awful snorer :( I have sinus issues and find it difficult breathing through my nose. I don’t smoke and I’m not overweight (although a little baby weight still holding on!) I sleep on my side, It’s just unfortunately in my make up. I’ve tried everything out there (apart from surgery as I just cannot afford it) and absolutely nothing has worked. Fortunately husband is a deep sleeper and never complains but I have an app and my god, I am a walrus, even worse if I’ve had a few drinks which is inevitable on this hen do!

Apart from the bride to be I don’t know any of the other ladies going that well, a few mutual friends between us and we know of each other but nobody I would class as a friend. I’ve been allocated a room with 3 ladies that I have mutual friends with and who all seem lovely and I know that I’ll have a good time but I’m now riddled with anxiety of the thought of my snoring keeping everyone awake. I’m actually mortified already thinking about it to the point where me not going is being seriously contemplated. It’s just really putting a dampener on the whole weekend. DH is telling me to not worry about it but I can't help it.

I suppose my Q is:

If you’re a snorer and have been in the same situation - do you have any tips you can share with me please? If you're not a snorer and been in a similar situation with a snorer, did it ruin the weekend for you?

OP posts:
ohidoliketobe · 19/05/2022 18:45

I've taken earplugs for my room mates before

Greatoutdoors · 19/05/2022 18:48

One of my friends is a snorer. She always ends up on the sofa bed in the living room while we shove our heads under the pillows 😂
Sorry OP, not much help but we just take the piss. It doesn’t ruin the weekend for us. Everyone will have had enough booze to sleep through a tornado anyway. Just go and enjoy yourself!

Loopytiles · 19/05/2022 18:48

you should’ve said immediately that you’ll book a separate room.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Sleep Weddings
Shinyandnew1 · 19/05/2022 18:50

Loopytiles · 19/05/2022 18:48

you should’ve said immediately that you’ll book a separate room.

This!

if it’s that bad, you really should have sorted this the minute the hen night was being suggested. I wouldn’t want to sleep with someone who knew they were a chronic snorer.

Original poster
Allinmoderation · 19/05/2022 18:55

@Loopytiles @Shinyandnew1 oh I 100% would have but we're staying in a big house and there's only a certain amount of rooms available. 4 rooms with 3 beds in each room.

OP posts:
ChuckMater · 19/05/2022 18:56

Tell them your going to book your own room

Shinyandnew1 · 19/05/2022 18:58

Allinmoderation · 19/05/2022 18:55

@Loopytiles @Shinyandnew1 oh I 100% would have but we're staying in a big house and there's only a certain amount of rooms available. 4 rooms with 3 beds in each room.

But that’s the point you decide that if your snoring is such a problem that you don’t want to share a room with three others, you decide not to go. Not now.

Cocobeau · 19/05/2022 18:58

I had a similar issue recently and just took ear plugs for whoever I’d be sharing with. Turned out most the women had brought their own anyway and were anticipating snoring themselves. My roomy said she didn’t hear a thing from me.

Arcadia · 19/05/2022 19:00

If it's a house can just sleep on the sofa surely?

Original poster
Allinmoderation · 19/05/2022 19:01

@Greatoutdoors thank you. I'm like this with my close friends as they know the score but because it's with people I semi-know i'm really anxious about it. Im hoping the booze will help (and even better that there's another snorer to take the limelight off me!) Blush

OP posts:
Iamnotamermaid · 19/05/2022 19:01

Take ear plugs for everyone and maybe a sleeping bag so you can retreat to the sofa (if you are staying in a house).

BattenburgDonkey · 19/05/2022 19:05

Just sleep on the couch? Have you not mentioned the snoring issue? What did they say?

I wouldn’t stress about the snoring but if you haven’t mentioned it and are now really anxious about it that’s just daft. You can’t let it ruin a chance to go away with people, mention it to them, sleep on the sofa.

FinallyHere · 19/05/2022 19:07

My name is FinallyHere and I am a snorer.

I don't share rooms with anyone other than DH

If there wasn't a room for me by myself, I'm afraid I would agree with PPs who say 'don't go'.

Your anxiety around this is absolutely coming from the knowledge that it's not going to be much fun sharing a weekend with some people who might not get any sleep

If you are already committed to going, I'd probably pay anyway. There is no good way to say 'does anyone mind if I snore'?

SaltandPepper22 · 19/05/2022 19:34

DP is a terrible snorer when he’s had a drink and we have a whole “system” that allows us to comfortably share a bed.

He had this issue on a stag and simply said it would be better for everyone if he had his own room and explained why.

Loopytiles · 19/05/2022 20:39

Ear plugs for others aren’t an answer!

if there’d be nowhere to sleep in communal areas would either have booked a hotel nearby, gone for the day, or not gone.

Loopytiles · 19/05/2022 20:41

It’d be different with close friends, but these are mainly acquaintances.

then again, all squeezed in and boozing it’s likely people won’t sleep much anyway, although they will notice loud snoring.

Ilovethesea123 · 19/05/2022 21:10

Ah bless you OP! I would suggest raising it with the group now - just let them know that you have sinus issues and are worried about keeping people awake by snoring. They’ll appreciate the honesty! You may have some deep sleepers going along who wouldn’t bat an eyelid at sharing with you :-) or may also welcome the idea of you taking along a few cheap pairs of earplugs!

I went on a night away in Feb, only around 6 of us so we shared a large room. One of the group turned out to be a horrific snorer - but we were all so drunk we just found it hilarious and soon passed out ourselves from the drink/giggles anyway.

I hope you go and enjoy yourself! Sounds like you need the break x

IsitFridayyet21 · 19/05/2022 21:24

I went on a hen with a honker of a snorer. She brought everyone ear plugs. I am a very light sleeper but still pleased this lady came as she was so much fun. Why don't you take a single airbed so you can set up a sleep station tucked far away? Don't miss out on the fun.

Vsirbdo · 19/05/2022 21:29

Most hen dos I’ve been on someone could have got up in their sleep and sung a whole musical and the rest of us would have slept through it in an alcohol fuelled haze.
Take some ear plugs for your room mates, let them know you snore and be prepared to sleep on the sofa

Original poster
Allinmoderation · 19/05/2022 22:03

Thank you all, a few of your comments have made me feel better. Haven't told the girls I'm sharing with yet as to be honest, I'm totally embarrassed. Horrid ex boyfriend who made me feel absolutely disgusting and shameful about it that I hate even mentioning it to people incase I get similar remarks.

But, I will let them know and hopefully there's a sofa to snooze on, if not the blow up bed idea is a good one too Smile

OP posts:
EllaPaella · 19/05/2022 22:33

I've just been away with a group of friends who I've known for years, 3 of which are all known snorers! I took earplugs and didn't hear a thing. Just warn them now so they have a chance to bring ear plugs with them. Chances are whoever you share with will also be a walrus!

IsitFridayyet21 · 20/05/2022 08:40

My advice would be don't mention it before. I'm an over-thinker and was worried about sharing with the snorer beforehand. On the day, it was fine so I'd have rather not known in advance!

KylieCharlene · 20/05/2022 08:50

I'd definitely go - just take a sleeping bag and hope the sofa is comfortable.
No need to make any big announcement- you can still put all your stuff in the allocated room etc but tell them after a drink you may snore so you feel best on the sofa.
That's all that needs to be said.

Banoffe · 20/05/2022 08:59

I would do the blow up bed thing or sofa if there’s one.

Just let them know to tell you if your snoring away so you can move.

I wouldn’t worry about it, snoring is just one of these things and if you have a back up plan and let them know then it’s all good 😊. Most likely booze will knock them out anyway!

My oldest friend snores like a hog, she always makes sure there’s a sofa or something she can escape too (which is every time we go away 😂)

FinallyHere · 21/05/2022 09:29

While we are talking about snoring, I'd like to add that I went to my GP about it. I'd always known that I snored (impossible to be in a dorm of twelve others without finding out). DH used to be quite cheerful about it until he suffered a bout of insomnia and mentioned it a couple of time so I gather him to the GP together.

GP confirmed that so long as I didn't have the kind that stop breathing even for very short periods, snoring doesn't do any harm and can't necessarily be cured, apart from rolling over etc.

GP's best advice was to get DH to get to sleep before me, as snoring really only disturbs anyone who is awake.

Perhaps you could fiddle around before sleep to let the others fall asleep first.

I'm afraid I just don't share with others, need my own room with ensuite to be comfortable away from home.