School trip dilemma WWYD?

SchoolTripDilemma · 2022-05-19T13:12:39+00:00

DD is 7 almost 8 Year 3. There’s a school trip in a few weeks time, she’s very excited for. I’ve had a letter through about a review for some treatment she had a few years ago. On the same day. I’ve called the clinic and it cannot be rearranged, and DD needs the appointment because they need to decide this time whether they go in and do more treatment on her. I’ve called school as I know it’ll affect staffing for the trip and the head of KS2 (works in Year 4) will call me back today or tomorrow to discuss options. Does anyone know what school might do? I’m not bothered about a refund as I know money will be tight to run it but what will it mean for DD on the day? Will they expect her to go anyway? I feel lousy but almost want to tell the clinic to stuff it as he hasn’t had a school trip since the end of Reception Year as she missed her Year 1 trip due to the treatment for this condition and then covid took away the remaining Year 1, 2 and 3 trips. WWYD? The rest of DDs class are likely to go either way, so if she does her appointment she'll miss out on that with her friends too.

TeenPlusCat · 19/05/2022 14:28

You haven't been overly clear on the 'staffing' issue.

Is it that if she goes the the appt it won't take all day, so would go back to school afterwards, but her year group won't be in, and thus she'll need to go in with another year? Or she has a 1-1 that then wouldn't go on the trip so rations would be wrong?

If appointment is immovable you have to go with it I guess. How disappointing.
When they say 'can't rearrange' what does that really mean? She could after all be ill on the day. Is it months you are looking at?

Original poster

SchoolTripDilemma · 19/05/2022 14:32

TeenPlusCat · 19/05/2022 14:28

You haven't been overly clear on the 'staffing' issue.

Is it that if she goes the the appt it won't take all day, so would go back to school afterwards, but her year group won't be in, and thus she'll need to go in with another year? Or she has a 1-1 that then wouldn't go on the trip so rations would be wrong?

If appointment is immovable you have to go with it I guess. How disappointing.
When they say 'can't rearrange' what does that really mean? She could after all be ill on the day. Is it months you are looking at?

Appointment is after lunch, so she'd have usually gone to school for the morning then been picked up at lunchtime then had the rest of the day off, thus only missing half a day but if she;s on the trip I'll have to pick her up mid morning from the centre and she'd still miss the rest of the day due to where the trip is compared to the clinic so basically she can't really do both.

She doesn't have 1-1 so no staffing issue.

OP posts:

Original poster

SchoolTripDilemma · 19/05/2022 14:34

@TeenPlusCat With the unmoveable I called up explained she was on a trip that day and could they possibly change the appointment day to one so she can do both, they said no as the clinic is still not at full capacity due to covid restrictions, so she'd be waiting a few more months for the appointment which isn't really feasible due to the time pressures if she needs further treatment.

OP posts:

TeenPlusCat · 19/05/2022 14:36

Could you not take her into school but do something fun with her in the morning to make up for missing the trip?

3luckystars · 19/05/2022 14:38

Of course the appointment at the clinic can be rescheduled. It can. That’s what I would do and I wouldn’t mention the school trip!

3luckystars · 19/05/2022 14:39

Try again. Tell them you need it rescheduled and will go on the cancellation list. Don’t mention the trip.

Original poster

SchoolTripDilemma · 19/05/2022 14:41

3luckystars · 19/05/2022 14:38

Of course the appointment at the clinic can be rescheduled. It can. That’s what I would do and I wouldn’t mention the school trip!

@3luckystars Usually they're great at rescheduling as I've been able to do it before, but that was pre-covid. They've said they'd usually be ok with it but due to the restrictions and the clinic still not being at full capacity there's not really many options.

OP posts:

40Jem · 19/05/2022 14:42

I would send her on the trip and reschedule the clinic. Don't tell the clinic it's for a trip. Just that you cannot make it that day. There has to be another appointment available at some point even if would be a wait.

DameMargaretofChalfont · 19/05/2022 14:42

OP - your posts are quite contradictory. You've implied that you might cancel the appointment:-

"I feel lousy but almost want to tell the clinic to stuff it as he hasn’t had a school trip since the end of Reception Year"

But then you state that time could be crucial;-

"she'd be waiting a few more months for the appointment which isn't really feasible due to the time pressures if she needs further treatment"

Only you know the full importance of your DD medical needs but, as a parent myself I would ALWAYS prioritise health over a single day trip.

Maybe take your DD out for a treat after her appointment to soften the disappointment.

Akite · 19/05/2022 14:48

It would really depend how time critical the appointment/treatment was. My dd had a squint in both eyes for example and needed surgery and waited a year for an appointment - always hearing that the younger it's treated the better. On the appointment day, she came out with chickenpox so we had to cancel and wait another 9 months - these things happen and in the context of that kind of treatment a few months probably isn't the end of the world. If it's something more time critical, I'd go with the appointment and do something yourself on the day to distract her from the trip. It's rubbish, but what can you do?

Mariposista · 19/05/2022 14:52

Send her on the trip. the treatment is obviously not 'urgent' in their eyes if they are suggesting waiting several months after. How ridiculous - what if your kid was ill on the day? They would have to reschedule it then.
Not buying the covid argument anymore. It's an excuse.

Original poster

SchoolTripDilemma · 19/05/2022 14:53

Akite · 19/05/2022 14:48

It would really depend how time critical the appointment/treatment was. My dd had a squint in both eyes for example and needed surgery and waited a year for an appointment - always hearing that the younger it's treated the better. On the appointment day, she came out with chickenpox so we had to cancel and wait another 9 months - these things happen and in the context of that kind of treatment a few months probably isn't the end of the world. If it's something more time critical, I'd go with the appointment and do something yourself on the day to distract her from the trip. It's rubbish, but what can you do?

@Akite It is a squint but she's already had one lot of surgery for it on one eye, we have to decide if she has another surgery for it or they do the other eye. We've been told due to the severity of it she has to have it done by the time she's 9 or she'll have to have another surgery when she goes through puberty.

Given she's 8 in a few weeks, and we waited for the last surgery for 9 months it might be too late if we delay. But then I think she's been absolutely fine, had to have glasses right before Covid for the last lot of Surgery and has regular eye tests but has been otherwise fine, but I'm not a expert so don't know but both I and School says she's improved massively in all areas since getting her glasses.

DD is desperate to go on the trip with her friends and would choose that over her eye appointment I'm sure.

It's so hard to know what to say yes to.

OP posts:

Luculentus · 19/05/2022 14:57

Any chance of paying for an eye check-up on a date you can choose?

Only4You · 19/05/2022 15:04

I would not reschedule the appointment.
Specialist appointments are like hens teeth and I wouldn’t want to miss it tbh nor would I want to move it ‘by a few months’.

I would try and make the whole day as much fun as possible for her - going out in the morning etc… instead,

Only4You · 19/05/2022 15:08

Also don’t I let your dd have a say in the decision.
Of course she’d chose the trip rather than a boring visit to hospital! But she is 8yo. She has no idea of the consequences of delaying the appointment and possible surgery.
Thats something you have to decide for her own best. Even if it means she will then be disappointed.

Fwiw if delaying the appointment means having another lot of surgery, I’m assuming this means the squint will give her some trouble later in too. Is that worth the problem associated with it? By that I mean her feeling conscious about it as a teen, having issues with seeing well (and potentially affecting her word at school - as it has been before surgery+glasses).
Any risk associated with doing that surgery later on in life too?

Sweepingeyelashes · 19/05/2022 15:46

I just don't understand the UK system. You should not risk your daughter having another surgery. One day is not going to affect her education. Of course I come from a country where it would be quite reasonable for a child to go to a specialist in school hours if it wasn't possible to get an out of school hours appointment and nobody would blink about a dentists appointment either. As teenagers we were always trooping off to the orthodontist in school hours. On the day, just tell them that she is unwell.

TeenPlusCat · 19/05/2022 15:56

Sweepingeyelashes · 19/05/2022 15:46

I just don't understand the UK system. You should not risk your daughter having another surgery. One day is not going to affect her education. Of course I come from a country where it would be quite reasonable for a child to go to a specialist in school hours if it wasn't possible to get an out of school hours appointment and nobody would blink about a dentists appointment either. As teenagers we were always trooping off to the orthodontist in school hours. On the day, just tell them that she is unwell.

This isn't really about missing school.

This is about the DD missing a fun and exciting school trip with her friends. Especially when these have been non existent due to Covid and she missed a previous one due to medical needs as well.

Crunchymum · 19/05/2022 16:22

Depending on what the trip is, can you recreate the it and take her another time? Might not be the same but at least she doesn't miss out. She'd just stay off the rest of the day?

Crunchymum · 19/05/2022 16:23

Sorry. I meant day of trip she'd need to stay home? So no concern about someone being in school for her.

Plantstrees · 19/05/2022 16:43

The appointment is more important than a school trip.

Please don't waste NHS time by making excuses, re-scheduling and making a fuss about it. If she needs the appointment then you should have the decency to turn up for it. She is 8 years old so there will be plenty more school trips.

SleepingStandingUp · 19/05/2022 17:04

SchoolTripDilemma · 19/05/2022 14:34

@TeenPlusCat With the unmoveable I called up explained she was on a trip that day and could they possibly change the appointment day to one so she can do both, they said no as the clinic is still not at full capacity due to covid restrictions, so she'd be waiting a few more months for the appointment which isn't really feasible due to the time pressures if she needs further treatment.

So you're trying to choose between sending her on the trip half day, into school without class half day or keeping her off all day?

If her attendance isn't an issue, I'd just keep her off.

Original poster

SchoolTripDilemma · 19/05/2022 17:05

SleepingStandingUp · 19/05/2022 17:04

So you're trying to choose between sending her on the trip half day, into school without class half day or keeping her off all day?

If her attendance isn't an issue, I'd just keep her off.

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@SleepingStandingUp She can't do both as they arrive at the centre for the trip mid morning when I'd need to pick her up, so it's a choice between sending her on the trip and not doing the appointment, or not sending her on the trip to do the appointment and her missing out as the rest of her year group (2 classes) are going on the trip that day.

OP posts:

SleepingStandingUp · 19/05/2022 17:06

Sweepingeyelashes · 19/05/2022 15:46

I just don't understand the UK system. You should not risk your daughter having another surgery. One day is not going to affect her education. Of course I come from a country where it would be quite reasonable for a child to go to a specialist in school hours if it wasn't possible to get an out of school hours appointment and nobody would blink about a dentists appointment either. As teenagers we were always trooping off to the orthodontist in school hours. On the day, just tell them that she is unwell.

There is o issue with appts in school time. Parents don't have to lie, they just send the appt letter in or call up and let the office know.

SleepingStandingUp · 19/05/2022 17:08

SchoolTripDilemma · 19/05/2022 17:05

@SleepingStandingUp She can't do both as they arrive at the centre for the trip mid morning when I'd need to pick her up, so it's a choice between sending her on the trip and not doing the appointment, or not sending her on the trip to do the appointment and her missing out as the rest of her year group (2 classes) are going on the trip that day.

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But you've answered this yourself

a few more months for the appointment which isn't really feasible due to the time pressures if she needs further treatment

She can't wait for her appt. That's it. It's shit. My son has lots of medical appts too and complex needs so pls don't think I "don't get it". I do. But we have to do what's right for our kids and that means appt first.

Instead of sending her in in the am to be sat in a random class I'd just keep her off and do something nice

School trip dilemma WWYD?

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