If I got divorced now at this minute

[boudicca79]

I own my house outright
It was mine before we married.

He has big pension shares and shares
I have none. my equity is my house.

If you divorce is it that everything is thrown in?

Married five years.

Do you have kids together ? Is his name on the house deeds at all?

I am debating walking away with my house.

But the shares are a lot.

He has lived here rent free for years.

I think if I said we both walk away with what we came into this marriage he'd be happy.

No kids.

This is the right thing ti do isn't it. I'm not being a mug am I.

I'm asking as I am useless at boundaries.

Would you be able to come to a mutual agreement or do you think it could get nasty?

No it won't get nasty. We Are both nice people and want to do right by each other.

I'm just not sure what it looks like

If you are married then everything is a shared asset? (unless the law differs where you live?)

If you can come to an amicable agreement then all assets don't have to be shared. My ex and I did this.

After such a relatively short marriage it isn't automatically 50/50 on everything - I'd go for a free hour consult with a family law solicitor if I were you.

5 years is classified as a short marriage and comes with less sharing conditions - however it depends how long you have been together whilst living together

Why are you entitled to his shares if he isn’t entitled to your house?

@@TomatoorChips yes it does

I suppose I am asking what no body knows

If I left what would he ask for. I wouldn't ask for anything after we had gone our separate ways.

What could he ask for? I
Don't think he'd ask for anything to be honest.

If you’ve no children and neither of you has sacrificed anything professionally to support the other then agreeing to leave with what you each brought in and / or have earned yourselves is the fairest, most sensible and ultimately cheapest option in terms of legal fees. Why would it make you a mug? Two able bodied adults with no ties after divorce don’t owe each other anything.

Your question aside, I just wanted to say that divorce is not an easy decision to make and I’m truly sorry your marriage hasn’t worked out for you both. Wishing you all the very best for your future ❤️

You’re not asking what nobody knows. Just see a solicitor and they’ll spell it all out

Has he lived rent free in your house, allowing him more ability to invest him is pension and shares?

I'm not and I wouldn't ask for them unless he asked for my house to be considered

I just want to walk away

Starting point is 50/50 but it's not a Long marriage so the shares might be different. What they look at is both of you being provided for. So if he shares buy an equivalent house to yours then they might accept that. It's about need so you need legal advice. Or as simple as not being on the deeds

Not, not or.

I had a divorce where the financial split wasn't 50:50. We both had to go to court so the judge could check it was what we both wanted. Once we had both agreed to it she signed it off. This added time to the whole divorce process but if there are no kids and you both agree then it should be fine.

This isn't working out. I love and respect my DH. I just am not in love with him.

We both need to move on and do so with all of the facts behind us both,

He feels the same.

We have step kids between us. Both of us feel like shit to be honest.

We are trying to do this with the best intentions to each other. And both of us want to maintain the relationships with our step kids.

Hi,
all assets you own are considered joint. You each or jointly need to make a legal financial declaration on form E , then summarise on from E
the next thing is to read and understand the 10 or so criteria the courts use to decide if a financial agreement is “ fair”. These criteria come first before any outstanding assets are thought of as 50:50
if you and spouse can work through together, you can decide what you consider fair based on these criteria, write it down, then give to a solicitor to write not legal language as draft consent order. That gets submitted to courts at time of the decree nisi ( now called something else!). The court also requires copy of D81. If court is satisfied it meets the 10 criteria they will “seal” the consent at decree final ( or whatever new term is now). If there are big differences between your asset split valuation or you haven’t addressed the 10 criteria they can ask you to think again.
so my strong suggestion is that you both sit down and read up on these 10 criteria and the process.

I recommend the following resources

1. Gov divorce portal - you can read through process and print form E And D81 off to start to document your assets
2. the mediate site has good info on process and 10 criteria www.mediateuk.co.uk/the-ultimate-guide-to-financial-settlement-on-divorce/
3. the Advise Now guides Small charge). I can’t recommend these enough. Brilliant and worth the small fee ( ie 5hey will cost you roughly equivalent of 10 mins of solicitors time 😱). These are diy consent order guides but they do other guides on divorce process. Link is www.advicenow.org.uk/guides/how-apply-financial-order-without-help-lawyer

Sorry should read summarise form E onto D81

😠Sorry, I’m linking mediate site a lot and it’s stopped working of late…search under “mediate guide to financial settlement” or similar ex’s

😠😠and now advise now link not working…it’s since this bloody MN update🤦‍♀️

so, search under “advise now guide apply for financial settlement “ or similar

sorry links aren’t working

Maybe this might work then look for the financial settlement one
www.advicenow.org.uk/advicenow-guides