Constantly anxious about my house and appearance being up to scratch

[StripytopandJordans]

Yes I know the situation in Ukraine is worse. I’m just in a state over this and need to get it out.

I haven’t had a very easy life. Im Nc with my parents following childhood abuse and violence and have just finished treatment for PTSD. I think because of my upbringing in a family that were very snooty and looked down their noses at people’s body size and homes, I haven’t been able to shake this dreadful paranoia that I’m not good enough.

I’m not at my thinnest. I’m a 14 with a big tummy. I feel shit about it.

My house needs a few rooms painted and a new front door. I can’t stop obsessing over how it is embarrassing.

ive done the garden over a lot but there are a few things that still need doing. I keep feeling really anxious over it.

I don’t ever think anyone else needs to lose weight or make their home perfect. Only me.

how do I stop this?

Is private CBT an option?

Therapy, self-compassion, mindfulness and lots of self-care.

Possibly, but I’ve had so much therapy at this point that I’d feel too guilty to spend on more.

Sorry you have had such a difficult time and you are too hard on yourself. I take Cymbalta for anxiety as was ocd over housework and it was affecting my life. Now am far more relaxed and really need to sort the garden and before would have been worrying sick about it now think am too laid back. Write a list and try to do a small bit at a time as overwhelming to think about it all. Think of all the positives about yourself and please don't put yourself down. Do you still see your family and how are things with them. Do not let them put you down ever.

I don’t see them anymore. I am married with two kids and only consider them my family. My birth family just made me feel like shit about myself and like I was never good enough. I’ve done so much work to overcome the past but this perfectionism just won’t leave me.
Your medication sounds better than mine! I’m on escitalopram.