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Original poster

Should my DS remain at private nursery or switch to preschool?

41 replies

5000kilometers · 18/05/2022 11:53

First time mum here to a 2 yo DS, who is at private nursery part-time, currently 4 mornings a week. I work part-time doing work from home which I can fit around his hours. When he turns 3 he would be eligible to attend a pre-school nursery (part of a state primary) which is opposite our home. The application process is open next week. The primary school is an 'outstanding' and sought after one, with a lovely ethos and is one of the reasons we moved here, in the hope he can go there eventually.

If he joined the pre-school nursery he would attend 5 days a week 9am-3pm, and due to the 15 hrs free childcare plus the fact it is a state run school it would not work out as any more expensive than the current arrangement is. The big downside would be that it is term time only. I think I could manage my work around the holidays as I am lucky that I work for myself, but, to be really honest, the idea of 6 weeks full time with my toddler at home sounds tough! He is quite full on! However obviously I love him to bits, and I guess this would be a taste of things to come and that many parents dread the school holidays!?!

For context the current private nursery is 15 mins way and is very nice. I don't know what it would be like settling DS into a new preschool at the age of 3? Does it get easier to settle in as they get older, or is it as tough as the first time they go to nursery? (i.e. weeks of tears and settling in needed?) This is something I don't know (as a first time mum) - if it's better to keep him stable where he is happy or move him at the age of 3. But then we would hope he would go on to attend that primary school.

So on balance, should we
A) apply for a place at the preschool nurse to start aged 3
B) keep him at private nursery until school

OP posts:
AmbushedByCake · 18/05/2022 11:55

Keep him at nursery. He's happy and settled, and they'll follow roughly the same curriculum as a preschool when he's that age. You have years of stressing about holiday childcare ahead of you, don't borrow trouble.

Hugasauras · 18/05/2022 11:55

We are keeping DD at private nursery. Hours are better, it's year round, she's settled and happy there, and we are in a fairly small village so the kids she's at nursery with will most likely end up going to the same primary school anyway. I'd like to put off the holiday childcare struggles for as long as possible!

What would be the benefit of switching to the school preschool?

Original poster
5000kilometers · 18/05/2022 12:00

So the hours at preschool would be longer than what he does now. Right now he only does 4 mornings (9-1.30ish). The preschool would be 9-3 - so I was seeing it as a step up in terms of time, and also for his development and preparation for school.

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

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2 year olds 3 year olds Childcare & nursery Families
Original poster
5000kilometers · 18/05/2022 12:01

I meant to say, preschool would be 9-3 for the whole week.

OP posts:
ReginaFilange001 · 18/05/2022 12:04

Keep at private nursery. Staff ratios are probably better than school, same curriculum followed but if like nursery we used - with a lot more freedom and imagination than the school, our private nursery had the freedom and time to tailor activities to suit a child's interest. I felt my daughter had a much better grounding with her private nursery. The school nursery near us start phonics and writing and there is really no need for this at this age - much better to learn through play.
The hours are obviously better as well - no need to start worrying about all the school holidays when you don't need to.
Your child will settle into school and make friends there when they start reception.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 18/05/2022 12:06

Have you visited it?

My first stayed in the private nursery, the second went to the school preschool. They were both better choices for that child really. (We moved between the two). Elder DD needed the quieter environment... just 20 kids, familiar staff, and completely free choice. Her alternative would have been a massive free flow Preschool/Reception (100 children!) Which had better facilities but not great for a noise sensitive child with selective mutism...

The school preschool for DD however was fantastic... she was ready for stuff like the joint nativity play, visits to the school library, phonics sessions, pe sessions, forest school sessions. It was very structured and suited her. That one would have suited DD1 as well but we didn't live in there then.

Mrsjayy · 18/05/2022 12:06

What are you planning to do when he's at school for childcare ? I would probably do that and send him to preschool,

CaveMum · 18/05/2022 12:06

I kept mine in private nursery rather than move them to the pre-school attached to our local primary (which they both ended up attending).

Don’t underestimate the convenience of having cover during non-term time!

Don’t worry about making friends with others at the pre-school either. Kids make friends very quickly at that age and you will probably find that some kids at the nursery also go to the primary school when they move up.

Heyduggee123 · 18/05/2022 12:06

I’m swapping my DT’s from private nursery to a school nursery in September. It has been a difficult decision but the 30 hours on offer at the private nursery just didn’t fit in with us. I only work 2 days a week so covering the school holidays isn’t a massive issue as my parents will be on hand to help as well.

I also spoke to a few primary school teacher friends who said that in their opinion the school nursery children seemed to adjust a little better to primary but this could just be anecdotal

Hugasauras · 18/05/2022 12:07

Off-topic but is it really only 15 free hours you're eligible for?Just wondering as if it's the 30 you could bump up time at private nursery.

HSKAT · 18/05/2022 12:09

We're sticking to private nursery.
He absolutely loves it and I don't want to take that away from him until I have to.
Staff are amazing, smaller ratio, all year round.
I'm not worried about friendships when starting reception as children make friends so easily that age.

Original poster
5000kilometers · 18/05/2022 12:12

Interesting, thanks. Our private nursery doesn't follow the EYFS for some reason. They still have their own curriculum but I'm not too sure how it compares. My DS is pretty engaged and explorative, so I think he'd enjoy the facilities at the preschool. It has a much larger playground and range of activities it seems. This makes it appeal to me. It would also be about £150 cheaper a week for longer hours.

But yes, the big downside is the school holidays!

OP posts:
Original poster
5000kilometers · 18/05/2022 12:13

Yes @Hugasauras we are only eligible for the 15.

OP posts:
SarahWoodruff · 18/05/2022 12:13

Honestly, I would prioritise your convenience/preference, bearing in mind we're talking about two perfectly reasonable options from your son's point of view. School holidays are much easier with a 5 year old than a 2 year old. They can do more, they are more reasonable and they can play independently/read/draw for periods of time. It's a different ball game.

And you can worry about holiday childcare nearer the time, no need to complicate your life now.

Original poster
5000kilometers · 18/05/2022 12:13

Has anyone made the switch and knows what it is like to "settle" 3 year old, compared to the first time they attend nursery? Is it as traumatic?!

OP posts:
HairyToity · 18/05/2022 12:14

I moved mine to preschool. They both loved it, and made transition to school easy.

KatherineofGaunt · 18/05/2022 12:19

5000kilometers · 18/05/2022 12:13

Yes @Hugasauras we are only eligible for the 15.

If you're only entitled to 15 hours, then surely the preschool will be mornings or afternoons only? So 3 hours a day every day for 39 weeks a year. Or are you able to top up by paying extra? Most school nurseries I have known have either am or pm pupils (unless EHCP for more hours) and extra hours could not be bought.

KatherineofGaunt · 18/05/2022 12:20

And I've taught reception. No discernible difference between school-based nursery children and private. You can usually tell if a child hasn't been to nursery at all, though

DockOTheBay · 18/05/2022 12:32

I don't see any benefit to the primary preschool over the nursery in this example.

He doesn't need to do full days in preparation for school, plenty of kids only do a few half days of preschool in the year before school and they manage just fine.

If you only work in the mornings, isn't it nice to have afternoons to do fun things with him? Make the most of that while you have it as once they're at school its just school run - homework - dinner - bath - bed. I wouldn't start that routine early if you don't need to.

It sounds like it won't fit very well with your work schedule.

It isn't any cheaper.

The only benefit I can see is if the primary school is oversubscribed and they treat the preschool as a "feeder" so you would be more likely to get in there. I don't know if they can even do this.

DockOTheBay · 18/05/2022 12:34

5000kilometers · 18/05/2022 12:13

Has anyone made the switch and knows what it is like to "settle" 3 year old, compared to the first time they attend nursery? Is it as traumatic?!

My daughter didn't attend preschool until she turned 3 and she settled fine. If he has already been in a childcare setting before I think it would be easier as they're used to being away from you.

DockOTheBay · 18/05/2022 12:37

Sorry I've just seen that its £150 a week cheaper for the preschool!? In that case I would move him, that's a massive amount of money (to me anyway!) and you could easily use that to pay for extra child care in the holidays.

RandomQuest · 18/05/2022 12:41

Mine went to pre-school. In our case it was a way to guarantee admission to the attached private pre-prep. DD absolutely loved it from day 1 and the transition to reception was a breeze. You are somewhat limited but I easily found a holiday club 5 minutes walk away that took 3 year olds for half days so even holiday care wasn’t as big a problem as I thought it might be.

Mrsjayy · 18/05/2022 12:46

Children usually adapt well of course there might be setting in issues that's normal the worry is coming from you not him this is a big next step and pre school will have transition days so he will make Friends get used to his keyworkers, see it as a new adventure he will be fine.

Goldfishmountainclimber · 18/05/2022 12:47

In answer to your question about settling them in, I think it varies a lot from one child to another. We have done a few changes due to moving. Our first child has always been sensitive and teary about changes, second child arrived at the new nursery and got stuck into the toys and was totally unconcerned. Third child actually waved me away indicating that my presence was not needed.

So I guess you need to make an assessment of the character of your child and take it from there. But any upset is likely to be short lived. I think that they are easily distracted by a whole nursery full of new toys.

trilbydoll · 18/05/2022 12:53

My two did 2 days per week at preschool and 2 days at private nursery. In the holidays nursery took them back for 4 days. I wanted them to go to preschool so there were lots of familiar faces when they started school.

DD1 wasn't massively keen on preschool but her school friends now are those she met there so I'm glad she went. DD2 adored preschool but didn't make a single friend. It's a lottery!