When did Job titles become so unfathomable?

[erikbloodaxe]

I'm old and remember when a job title informed anyone ( in that profession or not) of what they did. I've had to write DS's job title down and Google it (yes he explained but I was non the wiser ). So, in the interest of fun, will you say what your job title is and see if anyone can guess what you actually do (if you don't mind that is).

When I started working in fast food it was fairly straightforward: general manager, assistant manager, shift manager, employee. I went on maternity leave and 9 months later we had 3 different general managers posts, 5 assistant manager, and different levels of shift managers. per store!

Our Gp receptionists have become "care navigators" 😂😂😂

In my last job we had a 'director of excellence and innovative futures'. who was an old, rich white man completely against any kind of change and dismissed anyone not an old rich, white man. That job title felt like a misdirect.

I've seen that a well-known supermarket chain has a "Customer Champion" in-store. I don't wish to belittle this position but I'm not sure what they do apart from help you out when the self-service tills have a paddy.
Maybe someone could enlighten me?

@Monkeybutt1 @Lochnessgiraffe I'm Director Info Sec, Governance, Risk and Compliance so work with our Dev teams a lot. We have wonderful titles in our team too including Threat Operations, Security Operations, Risk Management

Someone who maps out how a businesses systems will integrate (communicate) with each other.

Thank you @LazyJayne 🙂

Family business, mum does accounts.
She has been Captainess of Finance for a while and is none the wiser (abbreviated to CF) 😂😂😂

😂😂😂😂😂

Some of these are hilarious.

I remember years ago my boss decided to give ‘fake’ promotions in order to boost morale as people for whatever bizarre reason love to have a job title that indicates seniority & importance so during appraisals all the admin assistants were ‘promoted’ to customer relations consultants & given a small raise but their job was exactly the same!

have you got an offensive security manager?

(I know someone who had that job title. It was accurate in both senses).

Mine isn't too bad "sales and customer service advisor"

Not on mn, everyone earns 70k plus, works full time, has a nanny. Goes on three holidays a year and never leaves their children with anyone except paid childcare. They go to the gym every day and shower 3 times a day. They never wear the same piece of clothing more than once.

Me I'm a "customer service assistant " which is a fairly accurate representation of what I do.

I am so boring!

I am Accounts & Payroll Assistant!

Isn't gatekeeper or guardian of the sacred doctors more accurate? 😉

@KateMcCallister

And yet it never needed to be included in job titles before. Where are they leading people? It’s so self important and obnoxious.

But I guess some people will be those who either want this or a genuinely flattered by it and take themselves quite seriously.

@Comefromaway to me your job title explains your job. I know who you are in the company and what you do. Common sense still prevails.

It's a family owned/run company and we are pretty straight down the line. We have the MD, the Financial Director, me, several Contracts Managers, a Service & Maintenance Manager, an Office Manager then lots of tradespeople.

Dd does a job that I used to do when I was a student.

She is a Customer Experience Assistant
I was an Usher back then

For a while I was a universe designer.

I'm a Senior Biomedical Scientist. Some of the job titles are interesting when you need Google to work out what they are!

I might have to punch myself in the face after reading this.

I'm a design specialist - it's accurate but ambiguous

The whole bloody lot sounds like parenting teens!

I’m trying to get back into work after kids. Job titles and descriptions are so occlusive it’s virtually impossible to figure out what the person is expected to actually do all day, and whether it’s appropriate for me to apply. In my more cynical moments, I think it’s deliberately creating confusion to prevent potential employee and employer having any sort of meaningful communication and thus necessitate an entire recruitment industry to mediate at vast cost. I feel like I need a course on how to navigate the system, not how to do a job. It’s actually very off putting.