Formal Complaint about CADETS (advice please)

[52andblue]

I am thinking of making a formal complaint about a Cadet branch.

My older child has previous Cadet experience. We moved 50miles.
Contacted the new branch (also a different branch of Cadets)
We were told that the Branch was 'still closed due to Covid'
We kept in touch. Then told that 'work needs doing on the building'.
We kept in touch. Then told 'still needs work' so we asked about a different location (we would travel up to 20 miles, necessary as rural so branches spread)
Then told 'all branches in County closed at present'.
I replied to say that my child was about to turn 17 (usual joining age cut off) but was assured that, as the delay has been on Cadets part that would not apply.

2 weeks ago I received an email: 'Cadets meeting Weds the X @ Y'.
I replied: 'thank you for this information, I have a 14 & 17 y/o Cadets very keen. Will see you there'. Got a reply: '17 y/o too old'. Replied: 'yes I appreciate in normal circs but as we have been waiting 11m we were told OK in circs. Please see email attached from XYZ Cadet Ranked Person confirming above'. No reply.
We pitched up. Waited 15 mins. About to leave when 'too old' email person shows up. 'What are you doing here'? We explain we are here for Cadets as advised. 'Well, its not on this week as still got building works on'. Another (nice) Cadet person says: 'I'll show you around'. I say: 'we are the 14 & 17 y/o family'. Mr Grumpy says: 'so why are you here'? I say: 'as advised, & I have 2 children'.
Mr Nice says: 'let me show you around'. We stay 2 hours (at his insistence) & have the most through guided tour & a great chat about Ds' previous Cadet experience. Mr Nice says only 8 other families on 'waiting list' so really now a 'new branch' after 2 years & would be great for Ds to be a 'Leader' with is previous experience. Would I care to join the Committee? I hesitate (I'm not sure how much I could offer?) & Mr Nice says: 'it might swing the 'age issue' for your Ds as clearly you couldnt leave him at home whilst you are here' & winks. He says to Ds' 'you are in, son'. Ds has Autism. He takes this literally. He's thrilled. I of course agree to join Committee & Ds agrees to help set up the flight sims & computers they have there (gifted with Tech & doing College course on this)
Mr Nice very happy. We are very happy. Younger child (also ASD) very happy older sibling will be there to settle her (Mr Nice aware of ASD & 'very happy')

Yesterday I get an email at 8pm: 'my first name: I have discussed this with my CO and he agrees your son is too old for Cadets. He can join as an adult if he wishes to apply later in life'. Rank: Grumpy'.

Ds has exams this week so I won't be telling him just yet. He will be devastated.
I would like to complain to make sure another family doesnt have this experience. Is anyone familiar enough with Cadets to advise the best way to do so?

Unless I'm mistaken cadets are run by volunteers just like scouts or guides. YABU to expect them to bend the rules without offering any help yourself.

Did you actually read the OP?

OP can you email Mr Nice instead?

@SoupDragon yes. The gist of the complaint was that the OP felt they were promised something that they weren't. My point is that Mr Nice was looking at ways to accommodate it which involved the OP giving of herself and volunteering which she didn't appear to want to consider. (unless I am wrong) these people are all volunteers, typically too many people wanting to do the thing and not enough adults willing to support it. Instead of complaining I'd suggest that OP make change herself.

I think the OP agreed to join Committee and her older DS take on leadership role?

I would imagine Mr Nice was just trying to be nice but didn’t have any real power. A cut off age is a cut off age and as they have to fill out lots of documents it is known. DS cadet group ran all through the pandemic, he has aged out now. They still had online sessions every week.

Is the new cadet type under the same branch of the military and did you take advice from the old branch about transferring or changing?

DS isn’t about this morning but will ask him his opinion.

In which case I apologise. It read it as she was expecting him to join as an ordinary cadet and wouldn't help on the committee

I did put in my OP: 'I of course agree to join Committee & Ds agrees to help set up the flight sims & computers they have there'. More details of this are:

Re 'helping' I was very happy to help & said so (I am not confident so wasnt sure what I could offer but have a current DBS & said so & that I'd be happy to do anything: making tea & sweeping up to offering emotional support to any kids (I am a trained & qualified Counsellor) I cant do Accounting etc but anything else)

We'd agreed with Mr Nice that we would go in and help clean & tidy the rooms over the summer & set out all the equipment & get it ready for other Cadets.

@CharSiu thanks.
No a different branch. Ds was an Army Cadet before. He found the Camps bad for bullying re his Autism. We were advised that this other branch of the military does not require mandatory Camps for progression so more suitable hence move.